Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic

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Floex
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PostAlien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Floex » Sun May 14, 2017 11:20 pm

I'll copy and paste over the opinions in the movie topic in due course.

Ok, this was complete nonsense. Like, I actually felt a percentage of my brain deteriorate after that. I can't fathom how this managed to get out of pre production.

- Honestly, what was the flute section about? Something, something phallic, sexual abuse, power play, urgh
- Why has Scott and the writers made people in this universe so moronic? These people should not be sent into space, let alone given the responsibility to colonise another planet. Quite frankly, David has a point that the humans in this universe do not deserve to live.
-The scientist/captain that took over, why oh why would you just stick your head over something that you have no idea what it could be. Why oh why would you risk the lives of thousands over a distress signal of someone singing? Oh because data.
-CG of the xenomorphs were shockingly awful. So jarring, it threw me back to Alien 3 with how bad it was imposed.

Quite frankly, I hope Ridley is not involved in the universe anymore. The Space Jockeys should have remained as a myth, an idea. We shouldn't be exploring it because the writers have found themselves in a shitstorm that I fail to see how they can recover from.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Lagamorph » Sun May 14, 2017 11:24 pm

So....what was the point of killing the Captain at the start? It seemed to serve utterly no purpose. They could easily have had nobody killed in a freak accident and still decided to go check out the planet. All they needed was someone outside making repairs to get the signal.
They seemed to be trying to set up tension between the new captain and the crew, then beyond the crew holding a funeral against his orders there was absolutely no follow-up to it.

Speaking of the new Captain, he seemed fine at first then turned into a complete idiot by following David down to the Egg chamber. Given what he had just seen upstairs in David's lab, combined with what happened to the other crew members earlier, then he should have just noped right the strawberry float out of there immediately. Even without knowing what's coming why the hell would you go anywhere near one of those things when the creepy synthetic dude has just told you that he made them from the stuff that caused a monster to burst out of one of your crew members mouths?

Also, on the subject of the arm raising chestbuster....why did it even have legs? Chestbursters don't have legs. Or is this still supposed to be an 'earlier' version before David completed work on them?

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Peter Crisp » Sun May 14, 2017 11:29 pm

I stand by my rant in the film topic.

Peter Crisp wrote:I keep thinking about Alien Covenant and I just can't shake what a colossal disappointment it all was.
The story was just so weak and the sheer stupidity of the crew was just staggering. They blunder about on a planet they believe to uncharted (apart from a distress beacon from what they think was a crashed ship) and take less precautions than people on here would take just going into a strange new pub. Yeah, why not just go up to an alien and completely unknown plant and take a giant whiff I'm not a zeno biologist but I have a feeling that's strawberry floating moronic and if you do so and slowly die I'm going to make sure I spend you final hours telling you what a plank you are in no uncertain terms.
Also in the Alien universe the robot always goes bonkers so how about we just leave them at home and make them into high class butlers rather than have then yet again betray us in space and kill us all.

Lastly how many times do we have to have the whole discovery phase does nobody in the military or the companies that run these ships think it may be a good idea to inform the rest of humanity that yet again an entire facility/ship has needed to be nuked which killed almost everyone and that this is what they look like and that sticking your face into a giant pot like thing on the floor results in face humpage? #

The more I think about it the less it seems to make sense.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by <]:^D » Mon May 15, 2017 11:16 am

i have no clue why they keep revisiting the 'idiot crew get infested by aliens on strange planet' storyline - there are plenty of decent stories to adapt from the comic/novel extended universe - i especially like the Outbreak & Nightmare Asylum storylines: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliens_(comic_book)

the first film got away with it because the crew of the Nostromo were uneducated space-miners, not scientists or explorer types.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Karl » Mon May 15, 2017 11:32 am

<]:^D wrote:the first film got away with it because the crew of the Nostromo were uneducated space-miners, not scientists or explorer types.


Spot on.

Won't be seeing this. Sounds dire.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Hexx » Mon May 15, 2017 11:57 am

Yeah this was dire.

Such stupid people (why no environmental suits etc on new world? Love the brief "I'll go check the soil to make sure it's good for us"). terrible pace issues and ponderous/self important without anything to come from it

The first 30 minutes (for example) nothing happens of importance.

Walter's care taking (and death of embryos)

The accident and/or lack of power.

The damage to the ship - and the mission to fix. Seemingly never came up again and of no importance. (Didn't hinder anything they did later)

Death of Captain (other than "I want to build a cabin" and the funeral the new Captain sooooo unreasonably wouldn't let them hold...insisting they fix the badly damaged ship first to ensure 2000 people's safety! What an a-hole he is).

The crew were awful, selfish, incompetent etc from the start - and there's no few other defining characteristics for any of them. Why are these people in charge of this important mission/2000 people?

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Memento Mori » Mon May 15, 2017 6:35 pm

Floex wrote:
- Honestly, what was the flute section about? Something, something phallic, sexual abuse, power play, urgh


I think you're overanalysing it. David was showing his "brother" what he had created and how he had evolved beyond his initial function.


-The scientist/captain that took over, why oh why would you just stick your head over something that you have no idea what it could be. Why oh why would you risk the lives of thousands over a distress signal of someone singing? Oh because data.

Regarding the first point- because David said it was safe. The captain was obviously familiar with Walter and didn't think David would endanger him. David had just saved their lives a few hours before that.

Second point- the data said the planet was even more suited to human life than their destination and nobody wanted to go back into stasis after James Franco died. It was something like two weeks travel compared to seven years.

Hexx wrote:Yeah this was dire.

Such stupid people (why no environmental suits etc on new world? Love the brief "I'll go check the soil to make sure it's good for us"). terrible pace issues and ponderous/self important without anything to come from it



They'd already done environmental scans of the atmosphere.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Lagamorph » Mon May 15, 2017 10:59 pm

Memento Mori wrote:
Floex wrote:The scientist/captain that took over, why oh why would you just stick your head over something that you have no idea what it could be. Why oh why would you risk the lives of thousands over a distress signal of someone singing? Oh because data.

Regarding the first point- because David said it was safe. The captain was obviously familiar with Walter and didn't think David would endanger him. David had just saved their lives a few hours before that.

Thing is though, immediately prior to the egg scene David spent several minutes explaining, in his evil laboratory, how he was now a mad scientist and had been experimenting with the same stuff that had created the killer aliens that had wiped out most of the crew to that point and that these eggs were made from the same stuff.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Peter Crisp » Tue May 16, 2017 10:16 am

I just find it odd that they spend about 10 seconds deciding to dump a mission that would have been years if not decades in the planning and sod off to an unknown planet. The people back on Earth who built that ship would have been furious.
Surely the only option should be to continue on to the planet they chose and send a signal for a crew of specialists who aren't chucklefucks to go see about the distress signal and have even a tiny bit of professionalism about it like maybe wearing a hazmat suit on a planet that hasn't been fully surveyed and cleared as safe and maybe being able to shoot straight and not just randomly spray death everywhere.

If that bunch can get in space then I think I'm in with a shot of being given a seat on the first Mars mission as surely I'd struggle to be much worse.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Blue Eyes » Tue May 16, 2017 10:51 am

Yeah this film sucked. It might seem like the least of its evils but the trailer had this speech by the female lead where she was saying "you've all sacrificed so much to be here" and stuff but that never actually happens in the film. It made out she was the captain when she wasn't. The trailer lied!

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by OrangeRakoon » Tue May 16, 2017 11:19 am

I enjoyed the film, it was quite good. Nothing amazing and disappointing in not getting anywhere near alien/aliens, but certainly better than prometheus.

The scene where Daniels fights the xenomorph while hanging upside down on a flying docking bay was great and my favourite part. Fassbender also put in a great performance and elevates all of the scenes he is in.

I think the main problem Covenant suffers from (continuining from Prometheus) is that the franchise is too bogged down in its own lore now to tell a narrow, cohesive story. Alien and Aliens have very focused plots that don't worry about trying to explain the exact details of the origins of the aliens etc. and they are much better for it.

The other major problem Covenant suffers is that it retreads a lot of old ground. Aliens was strikingly different to Alien, not even in the same genre. Since then every Alien franchise film has repeated the same story beats, mostly from the original. Nothing is particularly surprising and it makes scenes like chestbursting lose most of their impact.

It's failures aside though, I think I'm more positive than others here about the film. I would also disagree with the "plot holes/non-sensical plot" that people are arguing it has. Mostly everything makes sense.

Blue Eyes wrote:Yeah this film sucked. It might seem like the least of its evils but the trailer had this speech by the female lead where she was saying "you've all sacrificed so much to be here" and stuff but that never actually happens in the film. It made out she was the captain when she wasn't. The trailer lied!


There is nothing wrong with this - in fact trailers that mislead on plot details are a good thing imo!

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by <]:^D » Tue May 16, 2017 11:24 pm

do you remember when the crew of the first film put sealed spacesuits on to go outside, and then wouldnt have even got back in the ship because of quarantine rules if Dallas & Ash hadnt been assholes? good times.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by OrangeRakoon » Wed May 17, 2017 9:33 am

Not properly quarantining was the standout plot issue for me. I can forgive happily wandering outside without suits because they mentioned scanning the atmosphere to check it was safe, but the way they handled people falling ill was dumb.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by <]:^D » Sun May 21, 2017 3:50 pm

the 'Alien' film franchise should have ended with the assembly cut of Alien3; but Hollywood cant leave things alone.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Hime » Sun May 21, 2017 4:05 pm

<]:^D wrote:the 'Alien' film franchise should have ended with the assembly cut of Alien3; but Hollywood cant leave things alone.

I haven't seen this yet but it sounds like the problem is more with the director disappearing up his own bottom as opposed to the Alien franchise.

At this point all it needed to be was another Alien with a bunch of average Joe's getting picked off by an Alien with some nice visuals. Look how well it worked for Star Wars.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Peter Crisp » Sun May 21, 2017 5:30 pm

What this franchise needs is to have a crossover episode with Battlestar Galactica (the remake version) so they can have the Zenomorphs fight the Cylons. That surely won't have any sort lore implications and nobody will complain at all :shifty: .

jiggles wrote:Nobody with a VR headset is going to be using it regularly this time next year, let alone in 4 years time.


Posted 16th March 2016. Let's see.
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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by <]:^D » Sun May 21, 2017 6:25 pm

Hime wrote:
<]:^D wrote:the 'Alien' film franchise should have ended with the assembly cut of Alien3; but Hollywood cant leave things alone.

I haven't seen this yet but it sounds like the problem is more with the director disappearing up his own bottom as opposed to the Alien franchise.

At this point all it needed to be was another Alien with a bunch of average Joe's getting picked off by an Alien with some nice visuals. Look how well it worked for Star Wars.


that didnt work so well with Predators...

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Tafdolphin » Sun May 21, 2017 7:33 pm

<]:^D wrote:
Hime wrote:
<]:^D wrote:the 'Alien' film franchise should have ended with the assembly cut of Alien3; but Hollywood cant leave things alone.

I haven't seen this yet but it sounds like the problem is more with the director disappearing up his own bottom as opposed to the Alien franchise.

At this point all it needed to be was another Alien with a bunch of average Joe's getting picked off by an Alien with some nice visuals. Look how well it worked for Star Wars.


that didnt work so well with Predators...


Because every film with the same setup must be of the same quality regardless of script, director, actors or budget. What a silly thing to say.

Anyway, this film was gash. Overcomplicated, franchise ruining, incredibly pretty gash.

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by <]:^D » Sun May 21, 2017 11:36 pm

what? :lol: he pointed out an example of 'back to basics' re-hashing that went well, i pointed out one not so good to illustrate a point. dont get your knickers in a twist

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PostRe: Alien Covenant | In Space No One Can Hear You Derp | Spoiler Topic
by Tafdolphin » Mon May 22, 2017 8:15 am

Your arguement was "Well, btb didn't work for Predators ergo wouldn't work here." Which massively reductive and isn't true

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