Asking someone out - Update

jamcc wrote:

Charles Manson wrote:

JNR wrote:

Doug wrote:I did make the school boy error of not getting her number, however it counts for nothing as she just sent the first text.

Hell yeah! I feel all giddy. For those who are interested, i'm 21 and I think she's 24ish.
xx

Don't listen to the n00bs, that was never a school boy error, you played it brilliantly Doug. I never send the first text. Ever. It has backfired...once. In many years, from many girls. It puts you in charge, you see. It says 'I like you, I struck up conversation, if you want a bit more (which you obviously do) heres my number'. What it doesn't say is 'I really like you, can I have your number so I can chase you until you eventually put out or you know, don't...?'. The worst that can happen is she doesn't text back in which case she's obviously a bitch and not worth your time.

Anyway, well played Doug...and she's older! GET IN!

Sound advice there. Being the first to do everything heads one into stalker territory if the girl doesn't make her intentions clear. Luckily she has. Well done, fella!

What the hell, letting her make the first contact is just basic. Who on earth said he messed up there?

TravelJug wrote:Since we're on the subject. I have a situation I'd like some advice on.

There's this girl I lived with in halls at uni last year. I was going with my GF at the time and then we broke up...I went with said girl that night...who I never thought I could pull, well...because I didn't have much confidence then. So she ignores me for a while and we become good friends over the course of the year, both with the feeling that we like each other but neither of us did anything about it. Comes to the end of the year, we have a thing for a bout 3-4weeksish. I head up to hers for a concert on day and she goes strawberry floating wierd mode (got scared I assume...she lives 90mins away on a train btw.) So the summer passes, initially, as she treated me like shite I didn't talk to her much for about a month or more. Then we start talking again and obviously flirting again and we see eachother a few more times over the summer as friends.

First two weeks back at uni we had a thing again and I had the opportunity twice to have sex...in which I didn't. (and this isn't the point, I care too much about her for that and wanted to wait til we were properly going out) Things were going well again and then one day...she's gone wierd mode.

The worst part is, til this day we KNOW that we both like each other still. I really don't get her and she's a head strawberry float. However, there is ALWAYS the feeling that we'll inevitably have a thing again and eventually be together someday. (she ever told her friend that if she looks a few years down the line she sees us together )

Guys, should I strawberry floating man up before it's too late and actually talk to her about this gooseberry fool? I hate the thought of her going with someone else and I know for a fact she hates seeing me with other girls.

Advice is appreciated lads.

F-Heonix wrote:When you say a 'thing' was you going out then or was it a sex thing? If you know you both like each other and she told her friend what she said that then yeah you got to man up.

Doug wrote:How old are you both? I guess if you're both in uni then early twenties.
What's her track record with commitment? It could be her flaking out and getting scared off, or she could just be playing games.

The mood swings are a bit weird, I'd probably ask her about that.

F-Heonix wrote:I guess tha's the gamble, fella. She's either going to run a mile (like from what you say she does from time to time) or finally you both might be able to sort out what it is between you two. If she does run, like you did before, wait a few weeks and start communication again. She obviously likes you, just a girl being a girl it's never simple.

TravelJug wrote:Here's the thing, we've never actually talked about it ever. Let's just say she doesn't like talking about these things that much...and maybe from her dad she doesn't know what a good guy is, if you catch my drift. We're friends and I don't want things to be awkward between us again, but at the same time, I can't sit aside and watch potentially, the girl I'm going to end up with, walk past and kiss other guys!

Spike wrote:

TravelJug wrote:Here's the thing, we've never actually talked about it ever. Let's just say she doesn't like talking about these things that much...and maybe from her dad she doesn't know what a good guy is, if you catch my drift. We're friends and I don't want things to be awkward between us again, but at the same time, I can't sit aside and watch potentially, the girl I'm going to end up with, walk past and kiss other guys!

How old are you? Just remember that you havn't actually gone out with her as of yet, so take it slow and you will avoid unecessary heartache.

TravelJug wrote:

Spike wrote:

TravelJug wrote:Here's the thing, we've never actually talked about it ever. Let's just say she doesn't like talking about these things that much...and maybe from her dad she doesn't know what a good guy is, if you catch my drift. We're friends and I don't want things to be awkward between us again, but at the same time, I can't sit aside and watch potentially, the girl I'm going to end up with, walk past and kiss other guys!

How old are you? Just remember that you havn't actually gone out with her as of yet, so take it slow and you will avoid unecessary heartache.

Oh I get other girls too lak, that's not the problem. It's jsut the fact that we both like each other and she's the one I want. There's only so slow you acn go lad before someone else steam rolls in. Know what i mean?

TravelJug wrote:

F-Heonix wrote:I guess tha's the gamble, fella. She's either going to run a mile (like from what you say she does from time to time) or finally you both might be able to sort out what it is between you two. If she does run, like you did before, wait a few weeks and start communication again. She obviously likes you, just a girl being a girl it's never simple.

Haha. Cheers fella. **** I hate girls sometimes. I fully regret not having sex with her btw...but I think I did the right thing (I think it was going to be her first) and I don't think it would've gave me closure anyway.

Igor wrote:Hey guyz...

Today in Psychology, me and this girl that I happen to sit in close proximity to got to the lecture before everyone else that sits on our table. We've never really spoken direct for any big length of time, but have exchange some brief glances when we think the other isn't looking. Anyway, she (we'll call her Ginger Ninja) said hello to me, which I thought was odd. As we were sitting down, she asked how I was. I said fine, then asked her. She then started talking some irrelevant bollocks, then showed me the three paper cuts on her hand, and told me how she got kiwi juice in one of the cuts the other day. It was as if she just wanted to keep the conversation going.

We kept glancing at each other through the lecture, whenever we laughed, we looked at each other. Anyway, we were going through a question sheet, and the four of us on our table were talking about relationships when we were younger. Ginger Ninja told us about a her first boyfriend (when she was about 8), blah blah blah. She asked one of the other girls if they had a boyfriend, who said yes. Ginger Ninja then said, rather loudly "Oh, I don't." I was looking down at the question sheet at this point, and I heard whispering. Ginger Ninja said something like "... ask him." though I'm really not sure. I looked up, laughing, and one of the girls then said "Warren, do you have a girlfriend." Nope, was my reply. Ginger Ninja kept calling me by my name as well.

Anyway, they asked me about my love life, which I admitted was woefully scarce recently. We spoke about our jobs, Ginger Ninja asked me if I worked. I said I used to work for Barclaycard for two years, until I was unfairly dismissed. I don't get EMA (too old), and they asked what I did for money. I said I beg, borrow and steal until I can find another job (jokingly, obviously). She said not too long after that she didn't think money was important at all in a relationship.

As we left, I walked to my car, which was in the direction of the bus stop. I walked off by myself, and the other two girls went off in the other direction. I soon realised that she was behind me and it was sort of like she caught up with me, then said "You lucky you don't have to catch the bus." She then walked with me until I got to my car, just talking about old schools and gooseberry fool. When we split, we just said "See you Tuesday, have a good weekend."

This girl is very pretty, though not... Hot. Very nice body though, nice tanned skin. Anyway, what do you think?

Igor wrote:

Igor wrote:Hey guyz...

Today in Psychology, me and this girl that I happen to sit in close proximity to got to the lecture before everyone else that sits on our table. We've never really spoken direct for any big length of time, but have exchange some brief glances when we think the other isn't looking. Anyway, she (we'll call her Ginger Ninja) said hello to me, which I thought was odd. As we were sitting down, she asked how I was. I said fine, then asked her. She then started talking some irrelevant bollocks, then showed me the three paper cuts on her hand, and told me how she got kiwi juice in one of the cuts the other day. It was as if she just wanted to keep the conversation going.

We kept glancing at each other through the lecture, whenever we laughed, we looked at each other. Anyway, we were going through a question sheet, and the four of us on our table were talking about relationships when we were younger. Ginger Ninja told us about a her first boyfriend (when she was about 8), blah blah blah. She asked one of the other girls if they had a boyfriend, who said yes. Ginger Ninja then said, rather loudly "Oh, I don't." I was looking down at the question sheet at this point, and I heard whispering. Ginger Ninja said something like "... ask him." though I'm really not sure. I looked up, laughing, and one of the girls then said "Warren, do you have a girlfriend." Nope, was my reply. Ginger Ninja kept calling me by my name as well.

Anyway, they asked me about my love life, which I admitted was woefully scarce recently. We spoke about our jobs, Ginger Ninja asked me if I worked. I said I used to work for Barclaycard for two years, until I was unfairly dismissed. I don't get EMA (too old), and they asked what I did for money. I said I beg, borrow and steal until I can find another job (jokingly, obviously). She said not too long after that she didn't think money was important at all in a relationship.

As we left, I walked to my car, which was in the direction of the bus stop. I walked off by myself, and the other two girls went off in the other direction. I soon realised that she was behind me and it was sort of like she caught up with me, then said "You lucky you don't have to catch the bus." She then walked with me until I got to my car, just talking about old schools and gooseberry fool. When we split, we just said "See you Tuesday, have a good weekend."

This girl is very pretty, though not... Hot. Very nice body though, nice tanned skin. Anyway, what do you think?

I posted that in TCRT, but figured I may as well post it here as well. Popular consensus was that I should have offered her a lift home, even though she lives completely out of the way.

If I was to 'ask her out', baring in mind that I'm 19 and she is 17, any ideas as to where I could take her? Maybe just coffee during the day?

Captian Kil wrote:They let me stay the night (just in the living area though), but they had scary decorations up from Halloween, so I said to them "Either I'm taking them down, or I'm sleeping in one of your room's tonight".

They then took the decorations down down

Zerudaaaaa! wrote:

Captian Kil wrote:They let me stay the night (just in the living area though), but they had scary decorations up from Halloween, so I said to them "Either I'm taking them down, or I'm sleeping in one of your room's tonight".

They then took the decorations down down

lol that's quality. Nice try though!

JNR wrote:

Zerudaaaaa! wrote:

Captian Kil wrote:They let me stay the night (just in the living area though), but they had scary decorations up from Halloween, so I said to them "Either I'm taking them down, or I'm sleeping in one of your room's tonight".

They then took the decorations down down

lol that's quality. Nice try though!