Bullshit stories you heard as a kid

My dad used to tell me he could change any money into any other money note. Like, £5 to £20, etc. He used to be able do what I assume was a magic trick, where he'd be holding a note in his hand, then he'd sort of rub the fingers together, and it'd suddenly be a higher value note. Still don't know how he did it.

[iup=3501240]Barley[/iup] wrote:Environmental health had found traces of semen belonging to 7/8 different people in dishes served at a local kebab house/indian takeaway.

Have heard people saying this about a variety of different establishments in different towns even in my adult life

Given the hygiene standards in a lot of Indian restaurants, wouldn't surprise me if that's happened at some point.

captain red dog wrote:The bloody Mary thing where you chant bloody Mary on front of a mirror in the school toilets seven times and turn around was a good one. Apparently "some kid up north" did it and she appeared behind him and killed him.

This was going around when I was in year 5. Kids were crying saying they'd seen ghosts.
Thought I'd give it a go myself, and when I did the turn my elbow went under the hand dryer turning it on.
Nearly shat myself!

Me and two other guys at school convinced one of our friends that the pope was Jewish to the point she actually said it to our R.E teacher.

My Dad used to make me think I had the power to make eggs smile too. If I was having boiled eggs, he'd get me to kiss the egg shell for good luck before he cooked it for me. I'd always get too bored to watch the process to see when it smiled, then whenever he'd bring it in, there was a smiley face on the outside of the shell. I never did realise he was just drawing them on and genuinely thought I had this weird magical power of making eggs smile as a kid.

When I was about 5 my dad used to make up fake 'dangerous' animals to discourage me from various things, for example, there was a wall near my grandads that I liked to walk on, my dad used to say that if I didn't get down the 'leg hornet' would sting me, he'd them make buzzing noises when I wasn't looking, I actually thought it was real.

we also had the 'bath snake' to stop me splashing in the bath and 'Jim crow' to make me hurry up getting dressed, both with sound effects.

When we were a lot younger we used to play football on my cousin's back garden, and get gooseberry fool scared whenever the ball went over the wall into the behind-neighbour's garden because someone had told us that he was a nasty old man with a gun. So implausible thinking about it now

[iup=3501422]Poser[/iup] wrote:This is a related story but I swear blind it is totally true, so doesn't fit the topic, but still...

My old sprint coach was a PE teacher. One evening he didn't show up for training, because he'd had an 'incident'.

Y'see, he was a decent javelin thrower and was out preparing for a lesson one day on an empty field, throwing the javelin ahead of himself, then walking along putting out cones.

Throwing the javelin, putting out cones...

Throwing the javelin, putting out cones...

He was walking backwards at one point to judge the cones he'd laid out. He had misjudged how much ground he'd made up, walked backwards onto the back of the javelin (also pretty sharp), which instantly pierced his scrotum. He managed to avoid any major damage, but couldn't walk for a few days.

On a very similar note, every time we were doing javelin our PE teachers told us this story about a kid who went to pick up his javelin before the teacher had said it was safe to do so and ended up getting hit by someone else throwing their javelin late and it went straight through his thigh. We all thought it was just a bollocks story to make us do as we're told.

For some reason I mentioned it to my did (who went to the same school as me) and he said "Oh really? They told you that?! Because that happened to your uncle Dave (his older brother), when we were there!".

I thought he was having me on, so next time we saw my uncle, he got him to show me the scar. Sure enough, he did have a massive scar on both sides of his thigh and he was adamant it had happened with a javelin at our school.

To this day, I don't know if they were being troll dads.

[iup=3501642]Ironhide[/iup] wrote:'Jim crow' to make me hurry up getting dressed,

Did you have to hurry so that you could ensure a seat on the bus and at the lunch counter?

[iup=3501731]Shadow[/iup] wrote:To this day, I don't know if they were being troll dads.

strawberry floating troll dads

My aunt and uncle used to have a glass plant pot similar to this (spoilered for size):



My dad and uncle had me well and truly convinced that it was a goldfish bowl. Even though I knew it had no water, they were so adamant, I had to believe them.

They told me the fish would jump, so I'd sit and stare, waiting. Every time I got bored and turned away, they be like 'There it is!'...

This went on for some time.

Two dirty old men around my area that people used to tell tales about.

One 'Bill the Blade' definitely is a bit of a creep, but the stories about him knifing kids that didn't get their tackle out for him were blown way out of proportion. Still see him about nearly 2 decades later, and he's still a grotesque monstrosity with poor hygiene and he does stare at girls walking past with a disgusting look on his face though.

The other got tormented something rotten, old man and you could tell he wasn't all there, used to get on the same bus loads of us got to school on, and everyone thought it was a great laugh to bully the pedo. Kids would sit next to him and in front of him and behind him on the bus, then one behind him would slap him really hard round the face then all look away looking innocent, this would go on all journey. I later found out he was just like mentally subnormal and not a pedo. But rumours like that can make a mans life utter misery.

Bill the Blade never got tormented though, all the kids were too gooseberry fool scared to go anywhere near him.

I once heard about gangrene from somewhere, and then we were on a beavers trip out for the day in forests etc, and I noticed my knees had gone green. Convinced myself that I was gonna lose my legs and was too gooseberry fool scared to ask one of the adults there about it. When I saw my mum at the end of the trip I broke down crying and told her I thought I had gangrene. I was so relieved when she laughed and told me they were grass stains.

I had a mate who had me convinced for a good while that his uncle was training to be a wrestler. It was a believable story as I had met the uncle and he was a well built fella.

He blew the story completely however by telling me his uncle was having his first match at the weekend... against Bam Bam Bigelow

One of my uni housemates, a strawberry floating Biology student getting firsts in his work, was adamant that eating a bunch of bananas in a single day would kill you from a "potassium overdose"

[iup=3502161]Irene Demova[/iup] wrote:One of my uni housemates, a strawberry floating Biology student getting firsts in his work, was adamant that eating a bunch of bananas in a single day would kill you from a "potassium overdose"

I don’t remember hearing that bananas would kill you, but there was apparently a way that they could get you high.

Speaking of bananas, did anyone ever hear the spiders egg story?

I never heard it til I moved to the North East (as an adult).

Basically, none of the (adult) Mackems in my office would eat the very tip of a banana, the end opposite the stalk, because, in every single case, it was a spider's egg.

Just googled it; it's an actual urban myth:

http://www.burkemuseum.org/spidermyth/myths/banana.html


It's actually my favourite part of a banana.

I've never heard that story before, Poser, but I would gip if I ate that part of a banana. Rotten.

That's why I eat my bananas like this: chop the nasty end off, and eat it using the stalk as a handle.

[iup=3502164]Moggy[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3502161]Irene Demova[/iup] wrote:One of my uni housemates, a strawberry floating Biology student getting firsts in his work, was adamant that eating a bunch of bananas in a single day would kill you from a "potassium overdose"

I don’t remember hearing that bananas would kill you, but there was apparently a way that they could get you high.

By smoking their skins.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananadine

Seems to be fake I always thought it was true.

[iup=3501925]Moggy[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3501642]Ironhide[/iup] wrote:'Jim crow' to make me hurry up getting dressed,

Did you have to hurry so that you could ensure a seat on the bus and at the lunch counter?

what?

[iup=3502198]Fatal Exception[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3502164]Moggy[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3502161]Irene Demova[/iup] wrote:One of my uni housemates, a strawberry floating Biology student getting firsts in his work, was adamant that eating a bunch of bananas in a single day would kill you from a "potassium overdose"

I don’t remember hearing that bananas would kill you, but there was apparently a way that they could get you high.

By smoking their skins.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananadine

Seems to be fake I always thought it was true.

I know a lot of people who thought it was true, but it always sounded like rubbish to me.

[iup=3502211]Ironhide[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3501925]Moggy[/iup] wrote:

[iup=3501642]Ironhide[/iup] wrote:'Jim crow' to make me hurry up getting dressed,

Did you have to hurry so that you could ensure a seat on the bus and at the lunch counter?

what?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Crow_laws

I am not accusing your dad of being a KKK member, it's just the only other place I have heard of Jim Crow.

[iup=3502184]Poser[/iup] wrote:Speaking of bananas, did anyone ever hear the spiders egg story?

I never heard it til I moved to the North East (as an adult).

Basically, none of the (adult) Mackems in my office would eat the very tip of a banana, the end opposite the stalk, because, in every single case, it was a spider's egg.

Just googled it; it's an actual urban myth:

http://www.burkemuseum.org/spidermyth/myths/banana.html


It's actually my favourite part of a banana.

Thank strawberry float for that.