Mommy wrote:Shouldn't this information have come to light earlier? Someone mentioned a 4 year investigation - Surely if there is evidence you drag him in there and then?
Because if you come out with allegations like this that aren't as close to watertight as possible - considering how high the burden of proof is demanded to be - you are utterly buried and your life is basically strawberry floated by endless online trolls, threats, the risk of litigation and your reputation shattered?
That's why. Abusers like this bear not only immense power, but they also wield an army that even they do not know they influence to such an extent.
If you had the choice between that and keeping something, anything to your self and your life remaining relatively normal - aside from the trauma that has already been inflicted by the assault -which would you choose?
To be honest, in such circumstances I don't think whataboutery is very useful. It's more emotionally intelligent and insightful for you and everyone to consider what you would do, as that's about the only thing you can say in earnest, both truthfully and without being influenced by the hypothetical arguments of the entire media circus (even if that's a contradictory thing to say because it's hypothetical too, but it is at least honestly hypothetical as one can speak for one's own experience rather than relying on everyone else's).
Also as the victim of various crimes/offences, I didn't get them sorted out until months, years later and in some cases couldn't do anything. And just had to rely on expensive/long therapies and massive mindset shifts to offset the harm the offender did. You don't want to relive the experience.
I still haven't followed up with the police about an assault a few months ago, for example. The victim support letter and case letter is just sat on my desk. I've not answered any of the calls from the police.
You have to experience this to understand it.
Sure, it's a tough thing to imagine, "what if I were raped?" But it's also necessary. You can only then get the tiniest bit closer to what that is actually like. Personally it feels distasteful to go down the detective path otherwise. What's more important? Which makes the world a better place in which this just should not happen, or if it does, at least there is support available?
What is the point of standing on the other side of the line, looking in (although we are all looking in as we weren't raped) and going, "hmmm but perhaps this is all made up". Yeah, maybe it is, but what does that achieve?
