Childfree

7256930752 · PostRe: Childfree by **7256930752** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:49 am

I look forward to having kids but it's scares me as ultimately people will blame you for how they turn out despite the external influences that have a far bigger impact on their lives. Seeing how my sister has turned out, effectively giving my parents a life sentence of financial dependence and abuse is something that worries me. Also my maturity levels might not be adequate as my best mate is expecting his first and when he told me my first thought was "gooseberry fool, what are you going to do?".

For the first time in my life I feel ready and want to have kids and I know my wife is broody as gooseberry fool so no doubt we'll try soon.

PostRe: Childfree by **Rightey** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:18 am

Preezy wrote:Whilst I have no judgement or opinion on people who choose not to have children (it's your life, do what you want), I personally never felt anything in my single or childless past that could compare to the white-hot love I feel for my children. It's an amazing feeling that I don't think has an equal in other walks of life.

Pretty much this, I never thought of having kids before I met my wife, but they're really great. I feel like a lot of people my age think having them is some life ending event where all your freedom and ability to do anything instantly evaporates, while there is some added responsibility it's definitely not the end of life as it's made out to be. Then by the time you do want kids, loads of people are too old, or can only have 1 child, so in that way, while I don't really agree with it, I can understand why someone might get a bit pushy about it.

PostRe: Childfree by **Dowbocop** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:57 am

Hexx wrote:
Jenuall wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:There are far too many people having children who shouldn't because they're awful and totally unsuited to being parents.

Can't say I've ever know people get grief for not choosing to have children. What exactly is their reasoning?

I've not had them yet and I'm in my 30s (okay, I turned 30 this year) but I plan to get on with it pretty soon. The main issue is that I like being rich and don't want to not be rich any more .

Having kids just makes you rich in a different way!

A really really really poor way,

One half of a group dicks the other for their personal gratification, you don't end up with fewer people in the group, despite nominally being in charge of things you don't really get to do what you want, and everyone ends up massively worse off financially for the next two decades. Can't think of a news-based analogy for that, no sir...

PostRe: Childfree by **Ste** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:23 pm

I always imagined I would have children. Quite liked the idea of a mini me to watch the footy with and play games.

Met the missus when she was 34 and agreed we would let nature take its course. Nothing happened, don't think all the alcohol helped, and she's 41 now so it's not likely too.

She consciously stated a while ago she didn't want any and while I wouldn't go that far I couldn't be happier at the moment and can't imagine a baby on the scene now.

Not really close to my family though so good chance I'll die alone! I plan on going abroad to be euthanized.

PostRe: Childfree by **Rightey** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:07 pm

Hexx wrote:
Jenuall wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:There are far too many people having children who shouldn't because they're awful and totally unsuited to being parents.

Can't say I've ever know people get grief for not choosing to have children. What exactly is their reasoning?

I've not had them yet and I'm in my 30s (okay, I turned 30 this year) but I plan to get on with it pretty soon. The main issue is that I like being rich and don't want to not be rich any more .

Having kids just makes you rich in a different way!

A really really really poor way,

Not sure what it's like in the UK, but here you get money for every kid you have unless you are rich. I get a bit under $500 per month for 1 child, so unless you are really bad at managing money, it would actually make you richer.

PostRe: Childfree by **That's not a growth** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:15 pm

Rightey wrote:I get a bit under $500 per month for 1 child, so unless you are really bad at managing money, it would actually make you richer.

Popcorn.gif

PostRe: Childfree by **Jenuall** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:16 pm

Rightey wrote:
Hexx wrote:
Jenuall wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:There are far too many people having children who shouldn't because they're awful and totally unsuited to being parents.

Can't say I've ever know people get grief for not choosing to have children. What exactly is their reasoning?

I've not had them yet and I'm in my 30s (okay, I turned 30 this year) but I plan to get on with it pretty soon. The main issue is that I like being rich and don't want to not be rich any more .

Having kids just makes you rich in a different way!

A really really really poor way,

Not sure what it's like in the UK, but here you get money for every kid you have unless you are rich. I get a bit under $500 per month for 1 child, so unless you are really bad at managing money, it would actually make you richer.

In the UK you get about £20 per week for the first child and then about £13 per week for each child beyond that. And that's only if your income is below a certain level.

It's better than nothing but kids are far from a cash ticket here!

PostRe: Childfree by **Rightey** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:00 pm

Here is a calculator for anyone who wants to see what they would be getting if they lived here.

https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency ... lator.html

Here in Ontario, you also get extra money if you live in Northern Ontario.

PostRe: Childfree by **captain red dog** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:46 pm

I have a 4 year old, couldn't do without him. But my advice to anyone is not to have kids if you value your own time and freedom. I simply don't understand people who criticise others for not having kids. It's your own choice, and you have to make the decision that is right for you.

PostRe: Childfree by **Tomous** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 12:42 pm

captain red dog wrote:I simply don't understand people who criticise others for not having kids.

For most of those who do, I think it comes from regret and insecurity about their decision as well as jealousy of the freedom they lost.

PostRe: Childfree by **Hexx** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 1:25 pm

I need to move to Canada and get pregnant. :shock:

PostRe: Childfree by **OrangeRKN** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 1:47 pm

captain red dog wrote:I simply don't understand people who criticise others for not having kids.

I criticise people for not playing GOTG The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild so I can kind of understand it

People like people to like the things they like, like

PostRe: Childfree by **Rapidly-Greying** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 5:27 pm

Outrunner wrote:I recently got into a discussion which turned into an argument/lecture about my choice to never have kids. I have to say, I was kind of surprised at how hostile and judgemental the whole thing got and how much I was forced to justify my position (well at least until I had enough and walked away). For a decision that literally affects nobody but myself, some of the people involved sure got angry about it.

Does anyone else find there's a lot of outside pressure to have kids? Anyone else made the same choice to be childfree and than have to justify it to other people who think they know better? Or am I just unlucky enough to work with people or seemingly think have kids should be compulsory?

As much as I worship my kids. I can understand why people wouldn't want to bring people into this strawberry floated up world.

Childfree

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