Childfree

I recently got into a discussion which turned into an argument/lecture about my choice to never have kids. I have to say, I was kind of surprised at how hostile and judgemental the whole thing got and how much I was forced to justify my position (well at least until I had enough and walked away). For a decision that literally affects nobody but myself, some of the people involved sure got angry about it.

Does anyone else find there's a lot of outside pressure to have kids? Anyone else made the same choice to be childfree and than have to justify it to other people who think they know better? Or am I just unlucky enough to work with people or seemingly think have kids should be compulsory?

People do seem to be quite opinionated these days. I tend to have a 'do whatever the strawberry float you want to with your life' kind of outlook, which seems like the most sensible way to be to me.

Or am I just unlucky enough to work with people or seemingly think have kids should be compulsory?

I think that. I don't have kids and don't plan to (unless the GF insists) but beyond some jovial prodding about it I don't think I've ever had to justify it.

what did they get angry about?

I don't want kids but it has nothing to do with the climate or overpopulation.

I'm just lazy and kids require a lot of effort. Sod that.

Whilst I have no judgement or opinion on people who choose not to have children (it's your life, do what you want), I personally never felt anything in my single or childless past that could compare to the white-hot love I feel for my children. It's an amazing feeling that I don't think has an equal in other walks of life.

But each to their own. Judge not lest ye be judged and other ye olde worlde sayingse

Preezy wrote:Whilst I have no judgement or opinion on people who choose not to have children (it's your life, do what you want), I personally never felt anything in my single or childless past that could compare to the white-hot love I feel for my children. It's an amazing feeling that I don't think has an equal in other walks of life.

But each to their own. Judge not lest ye be judged and other ye olde worlde sayingse

I bet you have way less free time and you have to deal with the possibility they may end up being fussy eaters.
Fussy eaters really, really piss me off as most of the time when you ask them if they've tried something they'll say "No, I haven't" which just infuriates me no end.

Yeah, just think about that a second and maybe having kids wasn't such an amazing idea .

more heat than light wrote:People do seem to be quite opinionated these days. I tend to have a 'do whatever the strawberry float you want to with your life' kind of outlook, which seems like the most sensible way to be to me.

This.

Everyone knows I have Ella, I definitely don't want anymore, kids are a lot of work, and with my health being so rocky it wouldn't be good for me or the child. Ella puts up with enough!

I can understand why people don't want children, they're a lot of hard work, time and money. I have nothing against it, it's their choice.

Moggy wrote:

more heat than light wrote:People do seem to be quite opinionated these days. I tend to have a 'do whatever the strawberry float you want to with your life' kind of outlook, which seems like the most sensible way to be to me.

This.

Yeah, agreed. Having my son has been amazing for my wife and me - but also bloody difficult and you do have to give up a lot of stuff. So no judgement from me towards anyone who'd rather do other stuff with their lives.

Peter Crisp wrote:

Preezy wrote:Whilst I have no judgement or opinion on people who choose not to have children (it's your life, do what you want), I personally never felt anything in my single or childless past that could compare to the white-hot love I feel for my children. It's an amazing feeling that I don't think has an equal in other walks of life.

But each to their own. Judge not lest ye be judged and other ye olde worlde sayingse

I bet you have way less free time and you have to deal with the possibility they may end up being fussy eaters.
Fussy eaters really, really piss me off as most of the time when you ask them if they've tried something they'll say "No, I haven't" which just infuriates me no end.

Yeah, just think about that a second and maybe having kids wasn't such an amazing idea .

I have way less free time, less money and I'm more knackered

But I honestly wouldn't change it for all the money in the world. I feel like everything before my daughter being born was just a preamble, and that my life truly started when she was born. She gave me a selfless purpose that I could focus on and gave me a tangible reason to try to be a better person.

But again, I totally understand why people don't have children, and I have no issue at all with it.

My girlfriend doesn't seem too keen on kids. So I've been donating my sperm to random women on line so far I've got 84 kids but I've never met any of them.

If you ever want a good/horrific read to kill sometime

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/

There's some gold on there.

Albear wrote:

Or am I just unlucky enough to work with people or seemingly think have kids should be compulsory?

I think that. I don't have kids and don't plan to (unless the GF insists) but beyond some jovial prodding about it I don't think I've ever had to justify it.

what did they get angry about?

Apparently I'm being selfish by not having kids. But most of their anger seemed to be the fact that they couldn't change my mind. I don't know what I'm talking and literally every reason I gave for not wanting kids is wrong.

I could have understood it if I'd said "having children is wrong, you're all horrible people for having kids and all your children are horrible too". But all I said was I, personally, would never have kids. Maybe dropping in that I'd rather have a dog didn't help. What started out as a casual conversation with a friend at work escalated into an inquisition. I'm not even upset about it, just bemused by the entire situation

Outrunner wrote:

Albear wrote:

Or am I just unlucky enough to work with people or seemingly think have kids should be compulsory?

I think that. I don't have kids and don't plan to (unless the GF insists) but beyond some jovial prodding about it I don't think I've ever had to justify it.

what did they get angry about?

Apparently I'm being selfish by not having kids. But most of their anger seemed to be the fact that they couldn't change my mind. I don't know what I'm talking and literally every reason I gave for not wanting kids is wrong.

I could have understood it if I'd said "having children is wrong, you're all horrible people for having kids and all your children are horrible too". But all I said was I, personally, would never have kids. Maybe dropping in that I'd rather have a dog didn't help. What started out as a casual conversation with a friend at work escalated into an inquisition. I'm not even upset about it, just bemused by the entire situation

These are people you work with? Tell them to strawberry float off!

I can sort of understand (but not agree!) with family who want somebody to have kids, but workmates should never get involved.

more heat than light wrote:People do seem to be quite opinionated these days. I tend to have a 'do whatever the strawberry float you want to with your life' kind of outlook, which seems like the most sensible way to be to me.

This is spot on.

The usual response we get is "You'll grow out of it and want them eventually." I mean, I'm 34 now I'm not sure when these people think I'll change my mind.

Tafdolphin wrote:The usual response we get is "You'll grow out of it and want them eventually." I mean, I'm 34 now I'm not sure when these people think I'll change my mind.

I literally offered to have your children this week and accepted (as a plan B if you marriage falls through)

Tafdolphin wrote:The usual response we get is "You'll grow out of it and want them eventually." I mean, I'm 34 now I'm not sure when these people think I'll change my mind.

It’s usually around 35.

It's probably more justifiable to get angry about people wanting kids, given global issues of overpopulation and resulting environmental catastrophe, but really it's nobody else's business so I agree with the do whatever you want philosophy in this case, it's your life.

I have one kid , shes 16 and not too long after she was born I went under the knife to make it so I couldn't have anymore. I personally have no issue with someone deciding not to have kids, having a child is a massive responsibility a lot of people seriously underestimate and you have to give up a lot to do it well. You can only do so much in life and if you decide having kids is not something you want to do because you want to do other things then that's your choice and bearing in mind that there are already a heck of a lot of kids out there and population worries etc I really don't see why so many people have issues with people not wanting to have children.

If you want something I have an issue with then its people having a stupid amount of kids and dragging them up instead of bringing them up.