Progress with Remastered:
0. Spent a solid 15 minutes in the character editor making my anime girl as cute as possible
1. Went Thief to get the Master Key, freeing up my item slot for the Old Witch's Ring.
2. GET PLUNGED ASYLUM DEMON
3. Got the Zweihander and the Winged Spear from the Graveyard.
4. Headed down to the Valley of the Drakes and grabbed Astora's Straight Sword and the Dragon Crest Shield.
5. Beat the Black Knight in Undead Burg.
6. GET PLUNGED TAURUS DEMON
7. IF ONLY I COULD BE SO GROSSLY INCANDESCENT
Gonna try to cheese Havel next to get his ring early.
Fighting the Black Knight made it obvious just how much harder the pure rolly-polly Dex play style is compared to the classic block-and-punish with a decent shield. Bandit's Knife + Target Shield was a mess, died about 6 times, could barely make a scratch on him apart from the easy backstab at the start. Switched it up to Astora's Straight Sword + Dragon Crest Shield and did it first time.