Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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smurphy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by smurphy » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:00 pm

jawafour wrote:There has been a pressure to "get things right" and "have fun!" for an extended time and that can be quite stressful for some people.


100% this. My year from school have this reunion every Christmas eve in my hometown, and it was only the other year I realised I didn't have to go. It was a revelation. Everyone I like I keep in touch with anyway, and being in that sort of situation with people I didn't really like just made me feel horrible. Same with New Year. I always felt like you have to do something amazing or you've failed, but I just totally gave up on it (to the point I didn't even realise it was the 31st this year) and the whole Christmas period has become the most peaceful and relaxing time of year for me.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:56 pm

I don't think this is depression but I really just need to vent. I guess it's more anxiety than anything else, but hopefully venting here might help me.

I got made a manager at work the other month and I've been trying really hard to do a good job, it was going fine but recently within the last 2 weeks I've seemingly let everything get on top of me after a big mistake which I'm not even in trouble for. I've been getting more and more stressed, because the more I feel like I want to do a good job the more I've found it harder to keep up. Stress sets my IBS off so my stomach has been causing me issues which hasn't helped it at all.

I really, really don't want to strawberry float this up and today my Boss called me up to his office as he realised something was going on and he asked if he could help. I tried to explain away the stress to pressure with tickets but I can't help but feel it's more than that. I'm getting really self defeatest that any time I notice myself make a single mistake or feel like I'm falling behind on one thing I just feel like I'm going to fail. It's like there's a voice in my head telling myself over and over again that "oh gooseberry fool you're strawberry floating everything up, you're an idiot why can't you get anything right" and it scares me that I might have bigger mental health problems than stress.

I've been through phases like this all my life. I often get back on top of it and it goes away for a while. It's not like it even happens just to me IRL. There's a game I play and just before Christmas I went through this entire thing just localised to my streaming of said game/tournaments I run and how I play it. I read some book about how to not tilt or at least how to improve the negative thoughts that were building up and it genuinely feels so much better. It's weird, because it feels like I'm tilting but at work. I'm letting all my negative emotions build up and overthrow me.

I think I know what I need to do to get on top of things again and I think my chat with my boss genuinely helped a lot, but I'm going to talk to him more tomorrow and just explain what I've just vented about here. I just need to take control of everything again, but where I get so damn anxious all the time that I'm going to screw everything up it's hard.

Thanks for listening, sorry if this doesn't belong here but I didn't know who else to talk to.

Last edited by Qikz on Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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still
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by still » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:00 pm

On my i-pad Qikz so can’t write a lot. But my first thought is, have you tried mindfulness meditation or relaxation techniques? I think you can still trial Headspace for free. Might be worth giving them a go so that you can a) relax at a fundamental level, b) watch your thought processes and see when they are illogically doing you harm. Just a thought.

Edit: by the way, your story definitely belongs here.

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Karl
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:03 pm

Of course it's fine to vent here, Qikz. It sounds like some kind of performance anxiety, or like, mental block caused by stress. I think you're doing the right thing by being open with your boss and trying to tackle it head-on. Something it might help to focus on is that you simply wouldn't have been promoted if you weren't the best-suited candidate for the role. Everyone messes something up now and then, but overall your performance must be good, so you have every reason to believe you can handle the job.

Hope it starts to go better for you from here on in. :wub:

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still
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by still » Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:43 am

Latest research on anti-depressents:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43143889

A good read if you have concerns about taking them.

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Brerlappin
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Brerlappin » Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:54 pm

Qikz wrote:I don't think this is depression but I really just need to vent. I guess it's more anxiety than anything else, but hopefully venting here might help me.

I got made a manager at work the other month and I've been trying really hard to do a good job, it was going fine but recently within the last 2 weeks I've seemingly let everything get on top of me after a big mistake which I'm not even in trouble for. I've been getting more and more stressed, because the more I feel like I want to do a good job the more I've found it harder to keep up. Stress sets my IBS off so my stomach has been causing me issues which hasn't helped it at all.

I really, really don't want to strawberry float this up and today my Boss called me up to his office as he realised something was going on and he asked if he could help. I tried to explain away the stress to pressure with tickets but I can't help but feel it's more than that. I'm getting really self defeatest that any time I notice myself make a single mistake or feel like I'm falling behind on one thing I just feel like I'm going to fail. It's like there's a voice in my head telling myself over and over again that "oh gooseberry fool you're strawberry floating everything up, you're an idiot why can't you get anything right" and it scares me that I might have bigger mental health problems than stress.

I've been through phases like this all my life. I often get back on top of it and it goes away for a while. It's not like it even happens just to me IRL. There's a game I play and just before Christmas I went through this entire thing just localised to my streaming of said game/tournaments I run and how I play it. I read some book about how to not tilt or at least how to improve the negative thoughts that were building up and it genuinely feels so much better. It's weird, because it feels like I'm tilting but at work. I'm letting all my negative emotions build up and overthrow me.

I think I know what I need to do to get on top of things again and I think my chat with my boss genuinely helped a lot, but I'm going to talk to him more tomorrow and just explain what I've just vented about here. I just need to take control of everything again, but where I get so damn anxious all the time that I'm going to screw everything up it's hard.

Thanks for listening, sorry if this doesn't belong here but I didn't know who else to talk to.


Im sure you probably just need an adjustment period to get used to the realities of being a manager and what it entails.

I got a job as an IT manager a couple of years back and it was a nightmare. It threw my work/life balance out of whack, i was constantly being second guessed by non-IT people but people who assumed because they can install iTunes that they know more about IT than someone working in that field for over 10 years. It was a miserable experience and while im sure not all managerial roles are like that, i am perfectly fine with my current role and have no desire to ever go back to management. Sometimes i just think the added stress isn't worth any kind of extra money.

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Preezy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:21 pm

I've been feeling a bit "down" lately (not sure I'd define it as down per se, but can't think of a more appropriate word), seems to be a combination of work starting to get quite heavy as I've got loads on with no time or resource (or clear idea) to complete it, and a distinct feeling of loneliness.

When I say lonely, I really mean friend-lonely. I spend 99% of my personal life with my wife and daughter and it's great, but I do miss that camaraderie you get with your regular friends. My best friend of many years moved to New York last year with his new GF on a secondment (during which he fell off the radar and was really hard to get in touch with) and has since returned but is living in London, so I probably see him maybe once a month for a couple of hours in an evening if I'm lucky. Usually just playing co-op FIFA or having a natter. It's not enough. I used to see him regularly once a week for Games Night™ and it was a fixture in both our calendars. Other than him I've got guys that I work with but we don't hang out outside of work, everyone's got families and other commitments and honestly everyone just seems knackered all the time :lol: I have a couple of other old friends but contact is intermittent at best and at worst non-existent for months on end.

I used to have a group of guys from school (that included my best friend) who all played in a 5-a-side team together but we disbanded a couple of years back (too much glory or something) and everyone's spread out and lost contact other than token gestures. I'm just as guilty as any of them, I'm not the most social person and in my younger days I was never one to go to house parties or clubbing, and that's not changed as I've got older. I also just think generally as you get older people have less and less free time, it's not a surprise or anything.

The other night my wife went out for the evening with her work friends and I was sat at home bored out of my tree, I didn't fancy playing videogames or watching a film or TV, I just felt really lonely. It was a bit gooseberry fool and I really noticed it for the first time.

I appreciate that some of you are going through genuinely difficult times and I'm just having what appears to be a bit of a whinge, but I felt the need to type this so perhaps there's something to it? I dunno. What to do, eh?

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:31 pm

Prezzy I know exactly how you feel, feeling alone sucks... I mostly just spend time with my fiancée, my dad and my daughter. I love all of them but yeah sometimes I miss having real proper none family/partner friends and how things used to be.

I suffer from PTSD and anxiety and all sorts but sometimes the above hits me a lot worse. I also used to be a mentor for children with mental health problems and if there is one thing I have learned it is never ever think your upset or hurt is worth less than someone else's everyone deserves to be listened to and to have a chance to vent.

http://kerr9000.blogspot.co.uk/ For my Blog... https://www.youtube.com/user/kerr9000 for my YouTube channel. kerr9000_blog on Instagram. kerr9000 on Xbox, PS4 etc
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<]:^D
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by <]:^D » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:05 pm

Preezy lots of people are lonely; there was a survey that said recently that lots of men have no actual 'friends' of the kind youre describing so youre not alone (hah!)
i often feel the same way, i coach a youth group 3 times a week and i think that social interaction, plus that of my family keeps me sane. if i didnt do that id probably be screwed.
sorry, i dont have any advice; just wanted to say its not unusual to feel as you do!

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Preezy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:27 pm

It's the little things like seeing my wife's phone constantly pinging with chat from her various girly whatsapp groups (mums group, work friends group, normal friends group, yoga group etc etc), she can receive countless messages in a single evening. Meanwhile I can leave my phone upstairs and when I go to bed I'll just have one message from my mum reminding me to feed her pets whilst she's on holiday :| :lol:

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by <]:^D » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:49 pm

is there anything youre in to that you could socialise via? like, a sports team or something?
easier said than done - ive been 'thinking' about joining the local baseball team for months :fp:

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Brerlappin
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Brerlappin » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:53 pm

Preezy wrote:It's the little things like seeing my wife's phone constantly pinging with chat from her various girly whatsapp groups (mums group, work friends group, normal friends group, yoga group etc etc), she can receive countless messages in a single evening. Meanwhile I can leave my phone upstairs and when I go to bed I'll just have one message from my mum reminding me to feed her pets whilst she's on holiday :| :lol:


It's okay Preezy, I'm a friendless strawberry float too :lol:

Nah in all seriousness tho it sounds like you could do with a hobby or activity that takes you out the house a night or two a week. Weren't you doing Muay Thai for a bit? Are you still doing it? Before i got sick and was still training I did find a good sense of camaraderie and totally hetero not at all gay male bonding at my BJJ gym. Something like that could do you good.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:57 pm

Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:58 pm

They said they wanted the old me back and blamed the role, the old me is strawberry floating dead. This entire strawberry floating company and all the stupid strawberry floating idiotic people we have to deal with day in day out strawberry floating killed him. strawberry float them. It hurts so much.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:59 pm

I think it's just part of getting older. Everyone has their own worlds that they have created, those take precedence over everything else.

That's just my observation, I don't have a partner or kids. I do have friends who I see once a month or two who are in this same situation. They just can't be arsed because they are tired raising kids. I can only imagine what it must be like.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:09 pm

Qikz wrote:Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.


Seems like they are looking out for your welfare, assuming you are still working with the company. It may not seem like it now. They might feel you need a bit more time.

I can't say anything about dealing with people, dealing with a customer base, it doesn't get any better, I can assure you.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:21 pm

Squinty wrote:
Qikz wrote:Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.


Seems like they are looking out for your welfare, assuming you are still working with the company. It may not seem like it now. They might feel you need a bit more time.

I can't say anything about dealing with people, dealing with a customer base, it doesn't get any better, I can assure you.


They don't give a strawberry float about my welfare. They just destroyed any confidence that I'd built up. All it does is reinforces the fact that nobody on this strawberry floating planet cares about me but my family. Everyone else can go strawberry float themselves.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:50 pm

I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.

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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:14 pm

Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then

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Qikz
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PostRe: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:56 pm

shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.

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