Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Oblomov Boblomov
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Oblomov Boblomov » Sat Sep 01, 2018 3:00 pm

Brerlappin wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:That sucks man. I had in the past. I developed a liver disease a few years ago which means that anymore than a couple nowadays starts to hurt too much though, which curtailed that.

How often are you drinking alone? Is it effecting your day to day life?

I drank every single day for over a year as an escape, going up to about a litre of rum in a single night (but normally ‘just’ 4-8 beers). I knew I was depressed but never thought about seeing anyone for the alcohol aspect. I don’t really have any great suggestions tbh, I’d kicked it for a while then was drinking extremely heavily the last couple of months before my liver disease as I was in a very depressed mind state.

Drop me a pm if you ever want to chat about gooseberry fool.

Thanks Ian.

I don't really think there's anything wrong. I'm not sure why the doctor thinks I'm depressed, it could just be because of how regularly I drink and they want to explore the possibility. I've binned the letter and don't plan on making an appointment.

I sort of expected my drinking habits to change when I moved out of the city, as I'm not in walking distance of so many bars and more importantly my friends, whereas I seem to just be drinking alone instead.

I'm not in work until Thursday, which usually encourages me to drink even more. I'm going to try and not touch the stuff until next weekend and see how I get on.

I am married, Falsey. My wife rarely drinks so I'll just be chugging away while she's having squash, she'll go to bed early and I'll stay up on my own and continue to drink.

Thanks for the support guys. I'll be alright, just as soon as this hangover clears up!


Its a hard thing to really admit to yourself but honestly man drinking that much does sound like a problem. You might not be getting blackout drunk, but drinking that much per week is not only bad for your health but its bad for your mental health and relationships too. Do you not think your wife might be happier if you went to bed with her, have some pillow talk, hell maybe even sex if youre feeling wild, instead of going to bed alone while you drink?
I say this as someone who kinda inadvertently found myself drinking quite a strawberry floating lot without really realizing it. Like i would be getting proper soused about 5 times a week, but on the face of it i was like "ah its normal", cause id go out with my Dad on a tuesday and get fairly well oiled, Wednesday with a mate fo mine and get properly rat arsed, Friday night was beers at home and videogames, again, pretty wobbly by the end of the night, Saturday again id hang out with a mate and get pissed, sunday drink to stave off the fear of monday mornings. It was really only after i got married i realized how much i drank and how it affected my relationship with my wife that i was like yeah, maybe being pissed 5/7ths of the week isnt such a hot idea :lol:

All i know is i barely drink now (my weekly intake is 4 of those tiny bottles of Leffe, 2 on a saturday night and 2 on sunday and thats it), and i feel way better physically and mentally for it and the last time my wife got pissed at me for saying stupid gooseberry fool while drunk is now 6 years ago :lol: I actually dread the thoughts of being hungover so much now that i go out of my way to avoid being drunk. Hell we had a social with free beer in work yesterday, i went home at 5:30 on the dot without taking a drop.

You're totally right and I agree, which is why I'm going to try and put a stop to it.

I managed to not have a drink until last night and I got home just after 11 then went straight to bed, so this week has gone pretty well! It was tough trying to drink water/Coke and ignore the thirsty sensation that I knew could only be quenched by alcohol, but that had dulled by around Wednesday evening so was much easier to handle. I'm actually getting a craving right now but it's not too bad. Will probably get a lot stronger as we approach the evening.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Thu Sep 06, 2018 5:56 pm

Someone I kind of know has got anorexia. Its awful to see this happen to a young healthy happy person. I only know of her from the cafe I used to frequent as she worked there. But I suddenly noticed her getting thinner each time I visited. I thought she was getting better at one point as she seemed to have gained weight. Haven't seen her in like a year...think she quit her job.

But the other day I saw her in town and she was the thinnest I have ever seen...scarily thin it was so sad to see. I didn't approach...wouldn't know what to say really cos I was so shocked. It was awful. If I see her again I will be sure to say hi and ask hows she doing.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:44 am

Got my first appointment with a proper psychiatrist today.

I've had counselling before but I assume this is something different. I've had a stressful year, moving to a foreign country, giving up a steady pay-check to go freelance etc etc and the last few weeks have been a real down period as a plethora of differing strands have come together to create one giant cloud over everything.

Hopefully it'll help. It's too expensive to turn into a regular thing, but I'm interested in seeing how it goes.

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Sandy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Sandy » Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:47 am

Which country did you move to?

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Hime
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Hime » Wed Sep 12, 2018 1:37 pm

Tafdolphin wrote:Got my first appointment with a proper psychiatrist today.

I've had counselling before but I assume this is something different. I've had a stressful year, moving to a foreign country, giving up a steady pay-check to go freelance etc etc and the last few weeks have been a real down period as a plethora of differing strands have come together to create one giant cloud over everything.

Hopefully it'll help. It's too expensive to turn into a regular thing, but I'm interested in seeing how it goes.

You always seem like you've really got your gooseberry fool together so it's really surprising to see that you would require that kind of treatment. I hope it helps and can get through it though mate.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Wed Sep 12, 2018 1:54 pm

Hime wrote:
Tafdolphin wrote:Got my first appointment with a proper psychiatrist today.

I've had counselling before but I assume this is something different. I've had a stressful year, moving to a foreign country, giving up a steady pay-check to go freelance etc etc and the last few weeks have been a real down period as a plethora of differing strands have come together to create one giant cloud over everything.

Hopefully it'll help. It's too expensive to turn into a regular thing, but I'm interested in seeing how it goes.

You always seem like you've really got your gooseberry fool together so it's really surprising to see that you would require that kind of treatment. I hope it helps and can get through it though mate.


Ha, thanks and I'll take that as a compliment!

Yeah, I've been struggling with quite a few things recently, mainly job stuff. As I say, it's all come to a head so, you know, fingers crossed.

Sandy wrote:Which country did you move to?


France!

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Preezy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Wed Sep 12, 2018 4:06 pm

Hopefully he can diagnose why you seem intent on dying on the "TLJ is a good movie" hill ;)

But seriously, hope it goes well.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:00 am

I've been put forward for some talking therapy again, after my first consultation, as I'm convinced I still have some form of trauma. Finally seemed to accept my family breakup when I was very little might actually be worth addressing for once as well as some abusive employments, as to whether I considered it traumatic, not them or some made up definition of what should or should not be traumatic to a "normal" person. (Which is what happened last time, I didn't even get to the psychologist). I "fixed" one such shitty employment by getting an apology from HR assistant director after emailing my story and complaint to about 10 members of senior staff, after I was struck off the staff register for basically no reason. I still have unwanted, anxiety ridden thoughts about the first one, mostly when I eat lunch, which sucks.

Have to wait a month now just to ask more questions, and write up my family history / traumas again.

And some other gooseberry fool involving me with the police as a witness has dragged itself to my front door, which is about the worst strawberry floating thing I could have to deal with right now. I have to do an on camera interview at the headquarters which makes me sick to the stomach and I haven't been sleeping properly. I'm now suffering headaches and confusion all day, even with painkillers.

I've been given strict instructions to take my mood stabilisers/tranquilisers again, which basically prevent my brain from operating properly and strawberry float my creativity, turning me into a half functioning vegetable.

Fun times.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:02 am

Tafdolphin wrote:Got my first appointment with a proper psychiatrist today.

I've had counselling before but I assume this is something different. I've had a stressful year, moving to a foreign country, giving up a steady pay-check to go freelance etc etc and the last few weeks have been a real down period as a plethora of differing strands have come together to create one giant cloud over everything.

Hopefully it'll help. It's too expensive to turn into a regular thing, but I'm interested in seeing how it goes.

A psychiatrist generally prescribes medication, or do you mean psychologist as well?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:07 am

Green Gecko wrote:
Tafdolphin wrote:Got my first appointment with a proper psychiatrist today.

I've had counselling before but I assume this is something different. I've had a stressful year, moving to a foreign country, giving up a steady pay-check to go freelance etc etc and the last few weeks have been a real down period as a plethora of differing strands have come together to create one giant cloud over everything.

Hopefully it'll help. It's too expensive to turn into a regular thing, but I'm interested in seeing how it goes.

A psychiatrist generally prescribes medication, or do you mean psychologist as well?


I think I meant psychologist. Tbh I have no idea what the difference is. Went pretty well either way. I'd love to turn it into a monthly thing, I came away feeling genuinely lighter, but it's too expensive.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Sandy » Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:17 am

Psychiatrist is a doctor, psychologist is not.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Mon Sep 24, 2018 10:45 am

Not doing so well again, after a decent period of calm after my trip to the psych.

I've really struggled to motivate myself to find work since I moved to France. This morning, I actually started looking and there's simply nothing out there for people with less than fluent French, except babysitting and teaching. Even the teaching stuff, which I absolutely don't want to do, is underpaid student type work. Everything feels like a step backwards. The writing stuff has slowed to a crawl, a few projects I was sure were goers have disappeared without a trace.

I just feel totally alone out here. Alone and useless with an unknown future ahead. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jenuall » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:19 am

Tafdolphin wrote:Not doing so well again, after a decent period of calm after my trip to the psych.

I've really struggled to motivate myself to find work since I moved to France. This morning, I actually started looking and there's simply nothing out there for people with less than fluent French, except babysitting and teaching. Even the teaching stuff, which I absolutely don't want to do, is underpaid student type work. Everything feels like a step backwards. The writing stuff has slowed to a crawl, a few projects I was sure were goers have disappeared without a trace.

I just feel totally alone out here. Alone and useless with an unknown future ahead. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.


Sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it Taf. Out of interest what was the rationale behind the move to France, did you have something big lined up that drew you out there or was it more of a speculative thing?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by OrangeRKN » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:25 am

You've probably already looked into it (if it's suitable to the kind of jobs you're looking at, I don't know), but have you considered remote working to a job back in the UK as a possibility?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Sandy » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:27 am

While you're looking for work you could also start teaching yourself more French. A mixture of apps and integration will get you up to speed reasonably quickly.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tafdolphin » Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:39 am

Jenuall wrote:Sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it Taf. Out of interest what was the rationale behind the move to France, did you have something big lined up that drew you out there or was it more of a speculative thing?


Thanks for the kind words. It really does help believe it or not.

My wife is French and she had to move back for her work. I didn't really have anything lined up but was excited to try and make a go of writing as something to pay the bills. I've had a few jobs, Night Call being the most significant, but it's not paying anywhere near enough to sustain itself.

Sandy wrote:While you're looking for work you could also start teaching yourself more French. A mixture of apps and integration will get you up to speed reasonably quickly.


Yeah, I took two months of intensive French after I arrived and have more night classes lined up for November.

OrangeRKN wrote:You've probably already looked into it (if it's suitable to the kind of jobs you're looking at, I don't know), but have you considered remote working to a job back in the UK as a possibility?


I actually haven't. Might be something to look into, thanks Orange.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Rocsteady » Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:37 pm

Do what Orange suggested, worked out really well for me.

I tried the same in Hungary, is a hell of a slog sustaining yourself. Keep plugging away, adding to your cv and searching for remote jobs constantly. When you find one, spend a long time tailoring your cv and motivation letter to that exact role.

It's gooseberry fool man, you'll probably be doing the above for weeks if not a few months. Keep at it and you'll get the reward in the end though, is just difficult to keep that motivation up.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Jazzem » Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:35 pm

Heya gang, just a heads up:

Samaritans have a texting service which you can use anonymously. I've found it invaluable lately, if like me you tend to bottle negative thoughts in it's a wonderfully reliable way to release them.

Number is 07725909090, which I found from the tweet below:



According to their website they don't advertise this prominently due to limited staff numbers, so bear in mind you may not get a response until a few hours later. Can be reassuring knowing you'll get one in time at least, sometimes I've sent them something late at light with the assurance I'll have an empathetic response by the time I wake up.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Sun Sep 30, 2018 1:32 pm

Green Gecko wrote:I've been put forward for some talking therapy again, after my first consultation, as I'm convinced I still have some form of trauma. Finally seemed to accept my family breakup when I was very little might actually be worth addressing for once as well as some abusive employments, as to whether I considered it traumatic, not them or some made up definition of what should or should not be traumatic to a "normal" person. (Which is what happened last time, I didn't even get to the psychologist). I "fixed" one such shitty employment by getting an apology from HR assistant director after emailing my story and complaint to about 10 members of senior staff, after I was struck off the staff register for basically no reason. I still have unwanted, anxiety ridden thoughts about the first one, mostly when I eat lunch, which sucks.

Have to wait a month now just to ask more questions, and write up my family history / traumas again.

And some other gooseberry fool involving me with the police as a witness has dragged itself to my front door, which is about the worst strawberry floating thing I could have to deal with right now. I have to do an on camera interview at the headquarters which makes me sick to the stomach and I haven't been sleeping properly. I'm now suffering headaches and confusion all day, even with painkillers.

I've been given strict instructions to take my mood stabilisers/tranquilisers again, which basically prevent my brain from operating properly and strawberry float my creativity, turning me into a half functioning vegetable.

Fun times.


I hope you feel better asap Green Gecko. I literally had no idea you and others were going through so much. As normally I get replies from you all in other topics and posts outside of this thread and from those I cannot tell.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Sun Sep 30, 2018 11:56 pm

Yeah man. I've been dealing with some form of depression or another since I was around 12, at least. Didn't see an actual psychologist/psychiatrist about it until I was about 21 though. Actually I haven't posted on this thread for a couple of weeks as it was truly awful. I could barely do anything, was thinking a lot about stuff but had no energy to do anything about it, my partner had to make me eat or bring/cook food and get me out of bed most days. For about 3 solid weeks. I got headaches and was extremely irritable after about 3 minutes of thinking about any topic and almost had a panic attack just going into my workshop.

I'm finally feeling a bit better, things like doing little songs, talking about stuff rather than barely at all, wanting to make things, wanting to go for a walk, not just thinking about wanting to or wishing I would/could do some work etc. (My productively is basically inextricably linked to my depression as a designer/fabrication engineer, it's not only a bit dangerous and low quality forcing myself to work my mind has to be in the right place to actually do the designing and problem solving part, as well as dealing with people on the emails almost daily).

Gonna make a little GameCube decal to stick to the GBA I have connected for gameboy player tomorrow, start to implement some marketing/email automation, close down some outstanding projects and small steps back into work. Hopefully not another false start, maybe I'll only work 2 days this week but can't hang around forever for my brain to figure itself out. It's going to take ages to see someone anyway.

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