Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Harry Ellis
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Harry Ellis » Mon Nov 12, 2018 3:23 pm

Your folks sound like they're part of the problem so I wouldn't worry about what they think and in fact I would not inform them.

But do go to the appointment and be completely transparent otherwise they (Docs) will only be getting half the story and might misdiagnose you.

Re: lazy and incompetent... the way the brain works is that if something is particularly troubling or causing you great stress or difficulty or unhappiness, sometimes other parts of the brain can shut down rendering a person incapable of advancing other areas of their life until the root problem begins to become manageable. So it isn't an excuse at all, it's a legitimate thing.

Last edited by Harry Ellis on Mon Nov 12, 2018 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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OrangeReindeer
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by OrangeReindeer » Mon Nov 12, 2018 3:35 pm

If you don't want to broach certain subjects that's perfectly understandable, my only advice is to not downplay how you are feeling and how it is affecting you. If you really don't want to talk about something but know it is relevant, you can say so. Something along the lines of "actually this is also going on, but I don't feel comfortable/ready to talk about it" is better than saying everything is fine. In fact you can phrase it just like you have here if you like.

I wouldn't worry about medication at the moment, you can deal with that if it comes to it.

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Minoru
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Minoru » Mon Nov 12, 2018 4:18 pm

Drumstick, my parents know I'm going and I live with them, so they will definitely ask about how it went and what she suggests. I don't want to blame them because I knew they want what they think is best for me, but things have been difficult lately. And thanks, I know you're probably right about the brain stuff, but it's very difficult to not just blame myself all the time.

OR, I think that's probably the best idea, thank you. I don't want to discuss it or give the impression that it's only this immediate stuff that's caused issues, but I don't want to give the impression that everything has been fine and normal either. I panic a lot and then don't know what to say, so it's helpful to think of that in advance.

And you're probably right I should try not to worry about medication yet.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Mon Nov 12, 2018 4:42 pm

Id also say remember your under no obligation to tell your parents what a Doctor has said , tell them whatever you want them to hear that enables you to best deal with things.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Mon Nov 12, 2018 4:48 pm

kerr9000 wrote:Id also say remember your under no obligation to tell your parents what a Doctor has said , tell them whatever you want them to hear that enables you to best deal with things.


My thoughts exactly.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Nov 13, 2018 12:59 am

Why are you worried about stuff being on your private medical record? Assuming you're over 16 your parents have no right to know. Anxiety isn't total insanity that needs to be beaten out of you, it's a very common and normal illness for people who are not coping. If you need to take medicine just say you were offered medicine because it will help... Put the pills in boxes and ask for 2 months on repeat so you only have to go to the pharmacy sometimes. You probably need therapy. Just say it's a medical appointment because it is!

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Minoru
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Minoru » Tue Nov 13, 2018 1:37 am

Green Gecko wrote:Why are you worried about stuff being on your private medical record? Assuming you're over 16 your parents have no right to know. Anxiety isn't total insanity that needs to be beaten out of you, it's a very common and normal illness for people who are not coping. If you need to take medicine just say you were offered medicine because it will help... Put the pills in boxes and ask for 2 months on repeat so you only have to go to the pharmacy sometimes. You probably need therapy. Just say it's a medical appointment because it is!

That's not about my parents. They know my anxiety is very bad and I need some sort of help, my mum helped me make the appointment to speak to the doctor. I suppose I'm concerned that once it's diagnosed it's there, even if people don't technically have the right to make you disclose things. I think I mentioned this here before but I'm concerned about potentially affecting future chances of adoption too. I know I'm in no state to be a parent any time soon and it should be the least of my concerns but whatever, that's why I said that. Dumb panic so forget about it.

My family do want me to get better, they just really do not understand mental health. I do not want anyone here judging them and I shouldn't have brought it up.

I do agree I probably need therapy, but asking for help is still shitty and scary.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Nov 13, 2018 2:56 am

I know it is. But what you need to understand from others here is that it's not abnormal and it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you you are able to manage an illness whether it is temporary or something that recurs for you then there is no reason legally why you should be prevented from adopting a child. You have similar rights in all sorts of areas. Being ill sometimes does not prevent you from being an able parent or anything else, you just have to manage. Especially if you were in a couple.

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Minoru
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Minoru » Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:19 am

I do understand that. I have a lot of difficulty rationalising the worry and what ifs away. I've lived a long time not talking about any of this to anyone, ever and internalising a lot of things I would never say or think about other people.

I do not know why it worries me, because I can't really image a future where I would be in a position for that to happen, without major changes anyway. My brain worries about a lot of things it's not worth worrying about.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Tue Nov 13, 2018 2:27 pm

It sounds like the kind of worry you experience should be helped with some medicine but I'd also try mindfulness. Because you're aware it's not rational, but maybe therapy could help you figure out why anyway, you might be able to slowly train your brain to worry about the worry less and understand it is just thoughts. What happened to the sexuality stuff isn't that a big worry about not feeling comfortable in yourself?

I worry all the time to the extent I barely function, so I do understand the feelings just not really possible to know why, sometimes there isn't a why it's just part of your biochemistry.

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 11:46 am

I've an over the phone assessment next Thursday morning with a therapist. Had to change from this week due to work pattern.

Been in a pretty dark place these last few days. Earlier this moring was particularly bad.

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:05 pm

Gemini73 wrote:I've an over the phone assessment next Thursday morning with a therapist. Had to change from this week due to work pattern.

Been in a pretty dark place these last few days. Earlier this moring was particularly bad.



Hope it goes well for you. I will be wishing you the best for it chap.

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:31 pm

kerr9000 wrote:
Gemini73 wrote:I've an over the phone assessment next Thursday morning with a therapist. Had to change from this week due to work pattern.

Been in a pretty dark place these last few days. Earlier this moring was particularly bad.



Hope it goes well for you. I will be wishing you the best for it chap.


Cheers, kerr. I've been having a right time of it of recent, flipping between feeling very depressed or acting extremely aggressive with fewer moments, like now, of reasonable normalcy.

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:54 pm

Got bounced back from local triage service a couple weeks ago after being recommended some paid for counselling specific to my neurological condition. I gave them so much information. Just "please do this, I now discharge you from my care. Take care." which was pretty gooseberry fool, I received literally nothing in terms of actionable support other than go here and get someone else to help. I even explained how this was not helpful the last time. I gave them the right to act on my behalf which is totally normal for my disability but the disability service recommend wouldn't accept a pro persona referral via an NHS triage nurse? What? That's like having to personally write to the surgeon when your hand has been smashed to pieces. Which just puts me back at square 1. It just happened again. What's the point of reaching out then? Spoke to the GP today (two weeks for a telephone appointment at a random time in the afternoon to sort out my broken perscription) and they were surprised so are writing to them that they should refer back to GP and they can put me on to an NHS psychiatrist if it is suitable (which in this case it is). They actually called me back to let me know they're doing that which is nice.

It's so easy to be served an exit velocity in this health system and then fired through it, leaving you stranded. I don't know why people have to fight so hard just to see a medical expert in the general field of "mental health", other than a GP, who can only do so much, generally prescribing medicine.

You know there's a problem when you get systematically very low level of support and people part of the same system (GP) are shocked at how bad it is. Months and months between anything resembling an intervention in response to a health problem or crisis. So hopefully I can speak to a psychiatrist again soon (it's been a few years) and try to find a solution for the issues that tumbled me into massive depression again about 6-8 weeks ago now that are rooted very early in my life and probably should have been sorted out in my teen years if not earlier when I first started feeling this way and self-harming.

Last edited by Green Gecko on Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:06 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:59 pm

While I feel a little better at having taken the logical step in regards to my mental health, I'm not entirely sure what to expect or where to begin when that phone call arrives. I will admit that I'm more than a little nervous about the whole thing.

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:01 pm

It depends where you are in the country. Sometimes it's good, but with funding struggles at the moment it can feel really haphazard the type of support you get. Sorry to sound forboding.. but it's the truth. I have received some good help in the past but sometimes I go in feeling like I could cross the road and get hit and not care and after 3 weeks it's basically "you're fine, contact this charity and they will help you instead". I mean what is the NHS for? It's so sad, I really worry about the people who are literally dying all the time. I'm well aware of the pitfalls because my mum directed the local branch of Mind for 10 years and they basically pick up all this slack. People are literally dying and our health service is doing the bare minimum it is capable of doing with the funds it has to prevent a fraction of those occurrences.

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:10 pm

Cheltenham and Gloucestershire area. Since making taking that first step the correspondence has been very good, but it's early days. I'm not entirely sure if being an NHS employee has maybe garnered me a little more attention than had I not been an NHS employee, (it wouldn't be the first time as I used my employment to fast track my father's hernia op last November), but we'll see. Regardless I've made that step and that's what matters.

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Nov 14, 2018 8:14 pm

I think it does make you feel better simply beating the self-stigma (and legit stigma) of seeking help. Feel less alone. It really isn't an uncommon or shameful thing, it's remarkable how poor our country's self perception of wellness is. Almost taking pride in things being gooseberry fool and soldiering on anyway.. until one day, bang.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Snowballday » Wed Nov 14, 2018 8:31 pm

I've made another appointment to see my doctor about my anxiety again. Hopefully this time he doesn't just thrust another leaflet in my hands for CBT again, when I want proper councilling for it. I'd rather talk about why I have it and any underlying issues I have that causes me to have it, rather than just have CBT again.

I wanted to see the female doctor at the practice but she's always fully booked. She seems to be a lot more informative and helpful, the male doctor is old, can be a bit dotty at times and should have retired a while ago. He's been old for as long as I can remember. Last time I saw him he tried leading me down the CBT route again, which I know would be useless as it would have been with the same people from before and in a group. Fingers crossed this time he actually listens to what I say.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dowbocop » Tue Nov 20, 2018 8:20 am

I'm really struggling to let things go at the moment. Two anecdotes follow to prove what I'm talking about.

I took a blouse back to a shop at the weekend after they'd played silly buggers when my wife tried to return it the day before (they refused her over an absolutely tiny mark on it). I went to the manager and explained, but I asked him to give me a reason why it wasn't returnable instead of pointing out the tiny mark, as that would obviously prejudice his judgement. He immediately went completely on the defensive, and then accused me of being too defensive (terrible customer service by the by, I categorically was not rude to him, but I wasn't jumping for joy at having to make an extra trip to his shop to exercise my statutory rights - I have since put this down to my quite broad accent sometimes sounding a bit aggressive). Anyway, I got the refund and sorted it out with him, but I've had this nagging feeling end since that I should have called him out on how he spoke to me and his terrible attitude to conflict resolution.

Cut to yesterday, I'm at the front of the queue in a post office concession at the back of a card shop. People are queued up down the middle aisle in front of the middle window, when a girl walks up along the other aisle (i.e. in front of a different window). I say to her "Just so you know there's a queue, yeah?" Again, not rude, I've had it said to me before, I've said it to others before, she might have thought it was different queues, and sometimes there are valid reasons to nip in front. She then bit my head off and shouted "YEAH I'M NOT AN IDIOT I CAN SEE I'M JUST HANDING THESE IN!" I turn away, roll my eyes, but then this nagging feeling starts eating away at me that I shouldn't have to accept being spoken to that way, so I turn to her and say "Could you be a bit more polite please?" Obviously she immediately goes into one, and the next minute or so is a mixture of her going "DON'T EVEN START I'M NOT IN THE MOOD I'M NOT STUPID I COULD SEE THE QUEUE" and me going "I'm not calling you stupid I was just letting you know and then you were rude to me."

So, on their own, two not too bad, slightly boring stories yeah? However, my brain keeps churning the events around in my head with extra things I should've said to them, things I should've done differently, telling that manager not too talk over upset customers,the primal urge to grab that snotty cow's pack of letters and stuff them behind the Christmas card display. Bits of my brain go to the worst case scenario of me having a fight with her fella or her dad if she sees me in the street. It's absolutely crazy, it isn't going to happen, but I start imagining the situation if that came to pass (not that I'm particularly scared of having a ruck, but I don't think it's worth it at all). Underpinning it all is the irritating feeling that they think they are in the right or did a good job, when they actually didn't, and that really winds me up. I mentioned in the car thread that I had issues with this when I started driving and I nearly had an accident - yes I pulled out incorrectly, I'm a stupid learner, but you were bombing down a 20 road at 30 so who's the banana split? Obviously there's no resolution because I'm not going to get out of the car and front up to him, but it took a little bit of time for me to get over the minor slight he'd visited upon me.

I'm still wound up about it today, gooseberry fool's whirring around my brain and it stopped me getting off to sleep for a bit last night. I read it all back and it's totally laughable, but the anger is still poisoning my brain and it shouldn't be.


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