Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

PostRe: Depression by **Fade** » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:55 pm

It's not really new. I've been hitting myself for a while, just never cut myself before. Thanks for the advice though.

PostRe: Depression by **Clarkman** » Sun Jul 17, 2016 9:44 pm

Cutting is a headspace I've never been in, so I can't relate. Whenever I had dangerous thoughts, I tried to change my physical space. Going for a walk to the shops even was helpful. Hope you can be strong and stay conscious.

PostRe: Depression by **jawafour** » Sun Jul 17, 2016 9:57 pm

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PostRe: Depression by **jawafour** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:53 pm

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PostRe: Depression by **Octoroc** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:57 pm

Make lists and tick stuff off. That way you have a record of the stuff you've done. Feels good man.

...of course it can also serve as a list of stuff you didn't do. A testament to your (imagined) uselessness. :fp:

Better do that stuff then.

I've had a major wobble over the last week, I think I used up a lot of optimism during the move back to Germany and I'm experiencing something of a come-down...

The birthday greetings were unexpected and have cheered me up somewhat. Little things can mean a lot...

"Oh, well. Heigh-ho and fiddle-dee-dee", said ~~Octoroc~~ the Citalopram.

PostRe: Depression by **Exxy** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:08 pm

Been on propranolol for about 3 weeks now, which means I have to call my doctor. I think he's going to recommend putting me on anti-depressants, which is scary but necessary I suppose. I thought propranolol would help and it has with the anxiety side but the miserable feelings I've been having have just been made a lot more obvious without the anxiety to distract me. Been barely eating (half a bowl of cereal in the mornings and a light meal in the evening is pretty much it), nightmares at the worst of times and bad sleep at the best.

I had a bit of a turn after a evening drinking this week and explained all this to a friend/colleague. Made me feel so much worse. I still seem to disassociate these feelings with who I actually am and feeling like friends are having to look out for me makes me feel like a burden.

PostRe: Depression by **jawafour** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 6:52 pm

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PostRe: Depression by **Octoroc** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 10:58 pm

Exxy wrote:Been on propranolol for about 3 weeks now, which means I have to call my doctor. I think he's going to recommend putting me on anti-depressants, which is scary but necessary I suppose.

I was very reticent about taking anti-depressants, but my therapist (reluctantly) told me to consider trying them. So I went to see my GP and was prescribed a commonly used SSRI called Citalopram which luckily seems to have worked out for me. I say 'luckily' as many people have to try various SSRIs until they find the right one for them.

Although it's good to be wary of any drug, SSRIs are far more benign than the beta-blockers you're currently using or for that matter the booze you've been consuming. Adverse side-effects are possible with any drug and again I've been lucky in so much as my side effects - tiredness, drowsiness (dat Citalopram yawn) - are quite tolerable.

These drugs won't turn you into a zombie or some kind of blissed-out loon (as appealing as that may sound), you stay who you are. My experience with Citalopram is that I can still feel happy and sad, just not manic or suicidal and that seems like a good thing. It has also helped with anxiety. I've been a bit 'flat' and apathetic at times, but my overall experience has been positive.

My sister, on the other hand, really liked Prozac.

I had a bit of a turn after a evening drinking this week and explained all this to a friend/colleague. Made me feel so much worse. I still seem to disassociate these feelings with who I actually am and feeling like friends are having to look out for me makes me feel like a burden.

Without wishing to seem patronising or stating the bleeding obvious, consuming a depressant (alcohol) when you're depressed is very far from a good idea. You feel like a burden because you're suffering from depression and your brain is bullshitting you. Your mates will support you if you let them. "A friend in need..." and all that.

PostRe: Depression by **Johnny Ryall** » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:11 pm

I totally get the house work thing. The way I see it personally at the weekend if I get the house work done before say lunch time then I don't have to feel guilty about playing ps4 for the rest of the day cos I got gooseberry fool done.

Was probably a silly thing but I came off the happy pills cold turkey a few weeks back, could have backfired right enough but I was too busy at the time to visit the doc and reup and well enough times past that I don't feel the need now. Definitely a feasible option like, I'm not slamming pills, but I'm going the problem solving route now (mainly getting my mankey teeth fixed, roll on Aug 19).

I also wouldn't hesitate going on them again if ended up in the state I was in January but hey let's not catastrophise ;-)

PostRe: Depression by **more heat than light** » Mon Aug 01, 2016 9:14 am

My missus writes me a list of jobs every day, which helps a lot as I'd probably just be sitting around in my pants playing Xbox all day otherwise.

PostRe: Depression by **Exxy** » Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:13 pm

Cheers for the advice. Agree with it all. The eating thing is weird, I feel hungry but the thought of eating makes me feel ill.

Talking to my doctor tomorrow about whether to keep going just on Propranolol or change it up. He seemed quite pro-anti depressants last time because there's no way I can see a therapist but I'm a bit resistant. This is definitely the worst I've felt but not sure how much I want medication to be part of my routine.

PostRe: Depression by **Rocsteady** » Sat Aug 13, 2016 8:29 pm

No posts for a bit, summer weather helping a little?

I think the last couple of months I've been feeling better than I can ever remember in my adult life, I've still been getting the occasional day of severe depression but each time it's passed within about 24 hours. And has on occasion been due to other chemicals :shifty:

Even now, sitting in alone just studying Spanish on a Saturday night would normally have set off strong feelings of loneliness and depression that probably would have led me to wander out and get strawberry floated up. But I actually feel quite content with it. Really enjoying the slight feeling of contendness that teaching gives me, think I've finally found a profession that feels a little rewarding, at least for now. Plus I know it can satiate my desire to move location constantly.

Obviously I don't want this to come across as smug or whatever but maybe simply as a note that sometimes things can get a little better, even after years of not feeling like it ever could.

No doubt I'll see you all back in here soon enough anyway :wink:

PostRe: Depression by **Fade** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 4:22 pm

This is probably a bit of a strange thing to talk about but I thought this would be the best place.

I've always kind of struggled with my identity. I mean, like when I was younger there was no man I really looked up to and thought "I want to be like that"

Actually I lie, my graphics teacher I had for a year I kind of looked up to, he was super chill and just generally a lovely guy.

But other than that, every man who was supposed to be a role model for me I just ended up thinking they were not nice people.

All of my role models, or people I admire have usually been women. And I feel like it's part of the reason my confidence can be so low.

I'm not really sure what there is to be proud of being a guy, or what kind of identity you can draw from that unless you're the super masculine type.

A lot of the time I just feel kind of trapped because of how I'm expected to act, and how people treat you.

Hope I'm not talking gibberish, anyone else had to deal with this?

PostRe: Depression by **Banjo** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 9:23 pm

Meh, that's a fairly basic condition tbh.

Typical masculine traits and behaviours are rooted in outdated notions of being the provider and strength and all that bullshit. In the last 100 years with various strides towards equality for women and minorities those old ideals have been rightly challenged and called out for being bullshit. Unfortunately there haven't been any real attempts at replacing those old ideals, and some elements of society continue to peddle those ideas of masculinity. There's a lot of writing on the subject, there's even a festival/conference of sorts held in London each year simply titled Being A Man, which is all about discussing male identity in the 21st century.

If anything it should be of some small comfort that you're far from being in the minority in feeling this way.

PostRe: Depression by **Lotus** » Tue Aug 16, 2016 10:47 am

Rocsteady wrote:No posts for a bit, summer weather helping a little?

I think that does help. I find it so bleak in this country for most of the year, constant grey skies just drags my mood down.

I've been doing pretty well up until recently. I was determined to not resort to medication and just 'battle' what I'm pretty sure is depression through eating better, exercising, trying to adjust my work-life balance, etc, and it's been working. Last couple of weeks though I just feel more and more despondent. I think it's largely related to work; I just don't give a gooseberry fool, but am forced to do it to pay the bills. Such a dull, tedious existence, but one that's very difficult to escape from.

I've never had a passion for anything, and struggle to get excited about my hobbies, let alone a job, so there's no real 'dream job' to go after or anything. Pretty sure this is just a phase, as they've come and gone before, but when people at work get all stressed and on your back about something that, ultimately, means strawberry float all, it just makes me more pissed off. I've noticed some real anger issues coming on as well, which is slightly concering. The slightest thing sends me into a strawberry floating rage.

PostRe: Depression by **Green Gecko** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 8:10 pm

I'm pretty bad at the moment. I can hardly stretch out, really ratty and regularly napping for hours. I've got a lot of stuff to sweep off my plate before I go to France for a few days to visit my father, but at least I can swim in the pool.

I'm finding it really hard to get out of the teary eye, tension headaches, gut feeling, exasperation and aches and feeling wanting to wrap up and things go away, just for a little but, but I know this can spiral into full blown shutdown.

Writing down "3 doable jobs" on postit notes really helped me the past week or so, but haven't done any work for about 2 days. I say that, but I have been thinking of product ideas and I did meet my mentor yesterday, but more strategy needs to be figured out. Sometimes I can't even tell if I've done work or not or forget what I have done, focusing on what I haven't. There is just a lot to think about, and I am not meeting my financial goals at all. If I did not have government support, I would be screwed. So at least that is a much better situation than about 12 months back. I've been trying to bend things to my abilities a great deal for about 2 years now and have made lots of progress with business etc. Maybe it is the uncertainty of altering my service portfolio to do less websites, requiring the confidence in my art abilities to double fold. I have big issues with self esteem.

I think I can just get out of this 3hr nap switch the lights on make some tea and finish watching a TV programme but hope I can get a few more things done that before 1 or 2am. Writing this may have helped.

PostRe: Depression by **Akai XIII** » Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:24 pm

Falling asleep all the time is getting frustrating. Do it at work too for short bursts (30s-1m). Not good as I'm on a final warning for other gooseberry fool (due to depression). They've ruled out my thyroid, having a test for coeliacs next week.

Had it bad last week, pretty bad thoughts and really wanted a drink... Got through though, over a month now with no alcohol.

Doctor wants to move me from 40mg citalopram to venlafaxine. Had to drop to 20mg. Not sure the tablets really do all that much to help.

Nowhere near as bad as I was a year or so ago - sleeping too much, self harming and constant thoughts of suicide. The mental health service is gooseberry fool here, it's group CBT or travelling 30 miles every 4 months to be told "You haven't attempted suicide, so you're OK!".

PostRe: Depression by **Akai XIII** » Fri Sep 02, 2016 7:26 pm

The side effects of lowering citalopram :dread:

PostRe: Depression by **Fade** » Sat Sep 03, 2016 12:17 am

CBT was pretty effective for me. I still get the feelings but I can deal with them a lot better. And I'm off citalopram now.

What side effects are you having? I had a few mood swings but not much else.

PostRe: Depression by **Akai XIII** » Sat Sep 03, 2016 5:20 am

Feeling sick and dizzy all the time. Had to start taking it again.

I've never been to CBT as its all group stuff near me, which I'm not particularly keen on.

Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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