Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Dblock
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PostRe: Depression
by Dblock » Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:54 am

Ad7 wrote:Feel like utter gooseberry fool at the moment.

At the weekend my mrs took exception to something that I didn't even do (misread something I did and took it completely the wrong way) and proceeded to shout at me for nearly a solid hour. She also threw in some really hurtful gooseberry fool which was totally uncalled for and it just broke me. I had what I assume an emotional breakdown feels like because I was strawberry floating hysterical. I've never cried like that before, absolutely howling, I had no way of stopping it, just curled up screaming. I had some really dark thoughts that night where I was thinking of walking in to the field and slitting my throat. I dont know whats going on, maybe it's stuff about my parents bottled up (that's still relatively recent, especially with my dad) combined with the job stuff.

I dont know.


Wow. That's...wow.

Are you in toxic relationship? Why is your missus shouting at you for nearly an hour? No offence dude but no one has the right to shout at someone for nearly hour. In fact it is ridiculous that you even sat there and listened for a full hour.

''Saying it's because I was controlling you and making you sad when actually I just asked you to wear some trousers'' :lol: :lol:
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PostRe: Depression
by Dblock » Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:59 am

I might be going through anxiety but I don't know why or what's causing. Basically every time I'm about to just fall asleep something jolts me awake and happens several times before fully falling asleep. It is weird and scary cause it feels like i'm falling and something shocks me awake. I think I'm suffering from anxiety but I honestly don't know what I'm usually happy as gooseberry fool.

''Saying it's because I was controlling you and making you sad when actually I just asked you to wear some trousers'' :lol: :lol:
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more heat than light
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PostRe: Depression
by more heat than light » Sat Apr 29, 2017 10:11 am

Edit - @ jawa

Sorry I'm just having a rant because I'm having a gooseberry fool few days. I do that selfish 'my illness is worse than yours' thing sometimes. I'll edit that post.

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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PostRe: Depression
by jawafour » Sat Apr 29, 2017 10:24 am

more heat than light wrote:Edit - @ jawa...

Hey, mhtl, no need to edit... I can relate to being in that situation. I hope you find a way to get through this current dark zone, man.

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more heat than light
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PostRe: Depression
by more heat than light » Sat Apr 29, 2017 10:37 am

jawafour wrote:
more heat than light wrote:Edit - @ jawa...

Hey, mhtl, no need to edit... I can relate to being in that situation. I hope you find a way to get through this current dark zone, man.


Cheers dude. I edited because I don't want my personal opinions making anyone worry about talking. Talking is good, even if it doesn't help me personally. I should know better really.

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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SugarDave
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PostRe: Depression
by SugarDave » Tue May 02, 2017 9:32 pm

I have a mental health assessment appointment tomorrow morning and I have no idea what to expect or say. It was arranged about six weeks ago when I was feeling really down and went back on Citalopram, but I've since hit one of those peak periods where I'm actually feeling generally positive. I'm sure there's another valley coming down the tracks eventually as my mood has always fluctuated between both extremes, but I find it difficult to articulate how the lows make me feel when I'm not in the midst of them at that moment.

I want to discuss the possibility of suffering from manic depression but I also feel as though I'm going to walk into this thing and come across like there's no issues at all, wasting the chance to maybe get further help.

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Karl
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PostRe: Depression
by Karl » Tue May 02, 2017 9:51 pm

SugarDave wrote:I have a mental health assessment appointment tomorrow morning...


You should say basically that, I think. Tell them you get periods of crushing lows followed by periods of relative highs, admit that you aren't feeling too bad but right now but stress the lows are recurring and try to be as honest as possible about how you feel during them (they should ask questions like, Do you lose motivation? Do you stop enjoying hobbies? Do you feel worthless? Have you ever wanted to end your life? so think about how to answer those), and tell them that you'd like help to level everything out. Mention that you've heard of manic depression and ask whether something like that might be going on for you.

EDIT: If you're worried about forgetting to mention something in the moment (say, out of nervousness) then it's OK to write some points you want to discuss down on a piece of paper and take it in with you.

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SugarDave
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PostRe: Depression
by SugarDave » Tue May 02, 2017 11:22 pm

Karl wrote:
SugarDave wrote:I have a mental health assessment appointment tomorrow morning...


You should say basically that, I think. Tell them you get periods of crushing lows followed by periods of relative highs, admit that you aren't feeling too bad but right now but stress the lows are recurring and try to be as honest as possible about how you feel during them (they should ask questions like, Do you lose motivation? Do you stop enjoying hobbies? Do you feel worthless? Have you ever wanted to end your life? so think about how to answer those), and tell them that you'd like help to level everything out. Mention that you've heard of manic depression and ask whether something like that might be going on for you.

EDIT: If you're worried about forgetting to mention something in the moment (say, out of nervousness) then it's OK to write some points you want to discuss down on a piece of paper and take it in with you.


Didn't think to write anything down. I'll be sure to do so as I think I'll need it, cheers Karl.

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Gently-Parted Ringpiece
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PostRe: Depression
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Fri May 12, 2017 12:56 pm

Im just having these random periods of absolute despair and hopelessness. On the surface I would appear to have everything going for me, but as soon as Im away from a distraction and left with myself I could just end it all there and then.

It can come so fast and with no warning. I can be talking to someone and joking and happy and whatever, and as soon as they turn their back I sink instantly and they turn around and Im glazed over completely gone.

I was working this morning, typing something, and half way through the sentence just stopped, stood up and walked out and sat in the car for an hour on another planet. I was lay in bed a couple of nights ago and with zero warning or build up I was having stabbing pains in my chest which persisted throughout the night.

The best explanation I can come up with is that because Im not medicated my chemical imbalances are more pronounced and sudden rather than being glossed over.

Ive been doing quite a lot of soul searching and personal digging recently when I notice Im in these periods which I dont think is helping me out of them when they arrive, but they have lead to a number of fairly significant revelations which I wont go into here. Me and my partner are involved with a lot of 'out-there' and on the surface very accepting people, but Im finding the deeper I dive the more alone I feel. Really can find no place or group out there I can level with and not have to front in some way or another.

Not a useful post at all but been a while since a mind cleanse.

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PostRe: Depression
by BOR » Fri May 12, 2017 1:21 pm

Well...

I've been hiding for so long time.

All I can say... having an anxiety (GAD) and cognitive thoughts (CBT) are strawberry floating bitch!

:cry:

"The job is done, and the bitch is dead."
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PostRe: Depression
by Rapidly-Greying » Fri May 12, 2017 7:53 pm

Wow,I came on here to vent about how gooseberry fool I'm feeling right now,generally feeling sorry for myself due to being a massive strawberry float up at life and hating myself and feeling pretty strawberry floating bleak, bleaker than I've felt in good year or so blah blah blah,only to find some other poor souls in a very similar boat.

Hang in there guys, we either get through it or we don't. There is absolutely nothing I can say to help,but I can empathise, and maybe on remotest chance that there is some cosmic God out there then maybe we can send out a vibe to him at the same time and tell him 'hey strawberry float face,you've designed our brains all wrong,thanks for that.'

If I lived in America I would genuinely buy a gun and blow my brains out, but I don't so I'll just keep muddling through the best I can. Every other gun free method just has so much scope for failure(trust me,I've got some experience), what other choice do I have.

Hope you guys pull through.

Rapidly-greying is SHITE at games
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PostRe: Depression
by Rapidly-Greying » Fri May 12, 2017 7:54 pm

Ps I only write that on here as it's pretty anonymous. I wouldn't dream of saying that to anybody I know,but it's good to share your thoughts with someone else.

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Rightey
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PostRe: Depression
by Rightey » Sat May 13, 2017 9:10 am

I will be seeing some family that I've not seen in over 10 years tomorrow. We were supposed to meet a few weeks ago but my cousin who is a teen attempted suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills.

I was really looking forward to the meeting before and still am now. I really wanted to reconnect with her because there's really no reason we've been out of touch for so long and I don't really speak to much of my family but with what happened I don't want it to seem like I'm just trying to be nice.

I've never dealt with depression so I can't really understand where she's coming from but is there any advice you guys could give in how to talk to her? Should I just ignore what happend? Should I ask any questions?

When I normally havn't seen someone in a long time I'd ask how have you been, but in this case that seems a bit insensitive. Or is that ok to ask as it's just normal chit chat?

Pelloki on ghosts wrote:Just start masturbating furiously. That'll make them go away.
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Dual
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PostRe: Depression
by Dual » Sat May 13, 2017 12:37 pm

Talk about video games or something

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jawafour
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PostRe: Depression
by jawafour » Wed May 24, 2017 2:06 pm

Paul Rose, aka Mr Biffo of Digitiser fame, has posted an interesting article about his relationship with depression. It's worth a read.

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Banjo
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PostRe: Depression
by Banjo » Fri May 26, 2017 4:35 pm

Been a little while since I last posted. I've been living in France for two months and have now been in Germany for roughly two weeks, going to be here (in Berlin) for five more days before moving on. It's been a good experience, really pushed myself out of my rut and forcing myself to see new places, meet new people and have new experiences. I have moved around and done stuff in the last two and a half months that I never really thought I would do (not in a bragging way, just that my mind was so blinkered over the last year)

Still as deeply miserable as ever though, if not more so. It's a lovely day in Berlin and I've spent most of it fighting back tears, and I just don't know why I keep on fighting. I have effectively been in this current phase for a year now, and it's not slowing down or easing up. In general I wonder why I keep going, in some foolish belief that maybe I'll stumble across something that will give me a minor amount of purpose, but it just isn't happening. Even when at work (fun job too, teaching English at summer camps) I have to hide away and cry on a regular basis, and I plain don't enjoy my life outside of these brief pockets of activity that are admittedly fun.

The worst part about this is that I can't bring myself to stop lying about it whenever I'm around people. I'm as bad as I ever was, only now the exterior shell looks a little glossier.

I've been thinking about it for the past year, but I just don't know how much I have left in me. Over the years I have made numerous efforts to better my life and I still can't shake the dread at the forefront of my mind. I should be having a strawberry floating spectacular time right now but I am at such a low, despairing point. Why should I carry on when the major part of it is prolonging the pain I feel?

I'm so tired of it. I am so tired of the unyielding sadness, the way I can't stand to be around myself. And I don't know what to do about that. I genuinely worry that I might not have many years left in me if it carries on in this manner, because these are not happy years for me, and I don't want to have more of them.

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smurphy
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PostRe: Depression
by smurphy » Fri May 26, 2017 6:01 pm

That sounds tough. I never know what to say at times like this, but I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you mate.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression
by Green Gecko » Fri May 26, 2017 11:40 pm

I feel for you mate. I know it's incredibly difficult but please try not to self identify with the feelings of low self worth. They are just that - thoughts and feelings. They come and go. Don't try to cover them up or block them out, observe them at a distance. Really try to find someone you can talk to. I really recommend mindfulness. Are you on medication?

I have a month free code for Headspace app, which is enough time to complete the basic 10 day course and do most of the anxiety or depression exercises. It is the best one, and is narrated really well by a British guy who is easy to listen to. It might give you some relief in those shittiest moments, a place to go, if you can't access or in addition to therapy.

What you are doing with the travelling, sounds right on the money and one of the best things you can do.

I have definitely seen an improvement doing the mindfulness excercises. I am on a middling dose of SSRIs.

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PostRe: Depression
by Rocsteady » Sat May 27, 2017 1:42 am

I still remember sitting on a particularly picturesque beach in Australia after looking forward to it for months after years of depression and only feeling utter misery. Couple of years on and I'd managed to find consistent happiness, don't even consider myself depressed anymore.

Just keep trying random gooseberry fool, at worst it'll make you really interesting and eventually something will improve your life.

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PostRe: Depression
by Green Gecko » Sat May 27, 2017 4:28 am

Or someone. You can never be too well well travelled or cultured.

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