Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by 7256930752 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:21 pm

*thought this might be more appropriate here*

For some reason over the past few years I've developed a bit of anxiety when driving and I'm a bit shaken up as tonight is the closest I've come to having a crash in a long time. I'm would just like some opinions to know if I did anything wrong as these sorts of things play on mind for a long time.

I was on a two lane motorway that was merging into another two lane motorway to become a three lane motorway. I was travelling in what is usually the slow lane that becomes the middle lane. I'm just going along and suddenly I see a car in the merging lane right beside me just before they effectively run out of road so I put started to accelerate to make room like you normally would if someone is on a slip road and you can't go in the outside lane. The other car keeps going, getting right beside me before slamming on their brakes and beeping.

The thing is that I can't see that I did anything wrong? In my mind if you're in the lane that is merging, you have a better view of what is beside you so it's up to you to regulate your speed accordingly. I didn't see the car at the point when the roads start to merge so they were either tanking along or we were both unlucky that we ended up travelling at the same speed next to each other. Either way I still think it's their fault which actually gooseberry fools me up more because what can you do to stop someone driving into the side of you?

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Drumstick
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:30 am

Sounds like they were driving dangerously. They shouldn't have been rushing to get in front of you before they ran out of road.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:37 am

They weren't paying attention. It's not your fault.

Stuff like this doesn't half make you more anxious. Someone flew out of a roundabout at me this morning as I was about to turn off. I had to slam the breaks to let him past, otherwise I would have been into the side of him.

7256930752

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by 7256930752 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:00 pm

Thanks guys. I'm embarrassed that I even wrote that but the driving stuff is really getting to me.

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Lotus
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lotus » Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:33 pm

I drive a fair bit (~120 miles a day) and see so many people who drive dangerously or carelessly. Some times it's obvious that they're in the wrong, but other times it has me second-guessing myself, mainly because they act in a way that implies I was in the wrong (horn blaring, lights flashing, gesturing, etc).

Not saying I'm a flawless driver, but often they just assume they're in the right, when really they're not. Good example is slip-roads; when you're joining you're supposed to adjust your speed to match the traffic and filter in when safe to do so. One guy a while ago just wasn't doing this and kept trying to get in front of me, despite there clearly not being enough of the slip-road left to do this (I was on the inside lane). So he sped up, swerved over at the last second to get ahead, then I could see him making some kind of gesture to me. He then proceeded to slam his brakes on for no reason to cause me to slam the brakes on and very nearly go right into the back of him. He then sped off.

Makes you wonder what goes through these people's heads. Anyway, just stick to what you know and remember the old adage of treating everyone else on the road like they're an idiot; you don't know what they'll do and you can't make assumptions about their behaviour. Are you a relatively new driver? Because the longer you drive the more you get used to this and can see some things coming, which makes them easier to avoid and easier to not be stressed about.

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Drumstick
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:52 pm

Driving is, for the most part, largely common sense. The people that generally get angry are very often the ones at fault but their egos won't allow them to admit it to themselves.

I'm yet to beep anybody or lose my rag with another driver, it seems totally counter productive. There is however one situation I've had where I almost decided to take action do to how absurd and unnecessary it was.

I had turned down a semi-busy road just on the outskirts of the town centre and realised that I'd turned off one turning too early. I checked my mirrors and being a fair way down this road, saw that there was nobody coming either way, so decided to do a three point turn and head back the way I came.

Just as I start, I see a car in the distance coming the way I came, but it's far enough away to the point where I should have plenty of time to complete the manoeuvre. Now, even though the driver could see what I was doing, she promptly decided to steam full speed up to my car before slamming on the brakes and beeping the gooseberry fool out of me.

If my wife hadn't been in the car I probably would have got out and wandered over to see what the strawberry float her problem was.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:21 pm

You added seconds onto that woman's journey. I hope you can live with yourself, she might have done some amazing things in that very very short period of time.

Seriously though, I would have been raging.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by 7256930752 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:06 pm

Thanks so much for the replies, they really mean a lot to me.

My anxiety stuff started suddenly about 4 years ago and mainly affects sleep and driving. I know it's a proper first world problem but the driving stuff really bothers me, I love cars and driving, I still commute about 100 miles to work and back but previously I've travelled all over the country for work in a previous job. The sleep thing definitely adds to the driving anxiety as I work long shifts with early starts and at it's worst I might have only had 30 minutes sleep.

It's funny I had a really bad near miss about 12 years ago when I was 19 that I dealt with fine at the time but it haunts me now. I had picked up a new car somewhere in the Midlands and was following the sat nav home through country roads when all of sudden I found myself driving the wrong way down a dual carriageway. It's obviously completely my fault but we don't have any junctions on motorways where I live so I turned out like I would on any road. When I realised what was going on I saw a gap in the crash barrier and got back on the correct side. I just sort of got on with it at the time but it wakes me up in the night now.

I know that doesn't put my driving in the best light but I wad travelling to anywhere between London and Luton so was on the road all the time in the arse end of nowhere usually.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:00 pm

I occasionally feel down about my weak recessed chin. I can't stand looking at my side profile in mirrors or photos taken from the side because of this.

I'm going to the hospital tomorrow to see an orthodontist in the maxillofacial department to consider options to make my chin more prominent with surgery.

But at the same time I am so scared of side effects i.e. permanent numbness through nerve damage

The surgery proposed a few years ago when I went to see him was to have upper and lower jaw surgery...
lower jaw surgery to move my jaw forward and also rotated counter clockwise but this would result in upper jaw surgery to rotate it clockwise so that it would match the position of my lower teeth after the rotation there.

We both decided against this as it is a lot of work to be done and instead I just got braces and upper teeth extractions to fix my goofy smile because my front teeth looked very prominent due to my weak lower jaw/chin. My goofy smile made my chin look worse than it was so it was hoped that this treatment of pulling my upper teeth back would camouflage the weak chin.

3 years later now...I am due to have my braces off next week but before that I have this one final appointment scheduled to see if I still want anything done about my weak chin.
There are other solutions besides the surgery mentioned above such as:
- Sliding genioplasty (surgery to cut the corner part of my chin and reposition the bone to give my chin more horizontal and vertical length)
- A silicone chin implant

I just don't know if it is worth the risk, time and stress. But at the same time I don't like my weak chin. I'm just stuck in a vicious cycle in my mind about what to do. Maybe seeing the dentist tomorrow will help me reach a decision.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Wed Nov 22, 2017 9:44 pm

Serious question, can you grow facial hair? Cause if you can, that can help with a weak chin.

I don't know about surgery for something like this. Seems like a big step.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:05 pm

Squinty wrote:Serious question, can you grow facial hair? Cause if you can, that can help with a weak chin.

I don't know about surgery for something like this. Seems like a big step.

I can't grow facial hair and can literally count the number of individual hairs that grow :/. Been using that caffeine shampoo on my chin but no luck yet.

Yeah its a big step...I guess I'll see what other options he can offer.

I really don't think its worth all that surgery he mentioned and neither does he it seems. But he's still willing to offer the treatment if I want it though. A con to the surgery would be that my nose would become wider due to them cutting away some of the bone above my upper teeth to rotate the upper teeth. My nose is already wide enough imo and even he said to me at the time (2 years ago) that I wouldn't want it wider would I?
So then he hinted at a chin implant but I personally would prefer a chin augmentation as I don't want anything fake in me.

But like with all surgery there are risks and reading about these freak me out. I shall post some photos in a bit.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:34 am

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:
Squinty wrote:Serious question, can you grow facial hair? Cause if you can, that can help with a weak chin.

I don't know about surgery for something like this. Seems like a big step.

I can't grow facial hair and can literally count the number of individual hairs that grow :/. Been using that caffeine shampoo on my chin but no luck yet.

Yeah its a big step...I guess I'll see what other options he can offer.

I really don't think its worth all that surgery he mentioned and neither does he it seems. But he's still willing to offer the treatment if I want it though. A con to the surgery would be that my nose would become wider due to them cutting away some of the bone above my upper teeth to rotate the upper teeth. My nose is already wide enough imo and even he said to me at the time (2 years ago) that I wouldn't want it wider would I?
So then he hinted at a chin implant but I personally would prefer a chin augmentation as I don't want anything fake in me.

But like with all surgery there are risks and reading about these freak me out. I shall post some photos in a bit.

photos
https://imgur.com/a/jxMhX

Last edited by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan on Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:30 am

Not sure what else I can do to help you feel better but as a portrait artist who's mildly metrosexual (no homo etc) I would say you have nice lips and a strong brow, and your nose is not too wide. Also the verticality of the side profile is not dramatic at all, my entire face sticks out like a giant beak. I've known people have the opposite done where they are basically gurning all the time and have their jaw brought back but I've never heard of the opposite.

Hopefully if you can't accept how you look before too long you will find someone who does. I once had some random girl bang on about me being "chinless" guy but honestly I had no idea what she was on about, I've had people stare up at my nose and moan about my nostrils etc, but eventually I figured out that actually I was just a lot taller than these people and they couldn't see any neck (they couldn't see past my chest) or could only see my nose because I was a foot above them. I'm only 5'10" so yeah, if you feel judged by others think twice about why and play to your strengths..

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawafour » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:14 am

.

Last edited by jawafour on Sat Jan 27, 2018 10:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mini E
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Mini E » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:28 am

Yep - I agree with Jawa. You look fine pal.

Edit: Useful to be top of page with no contextualisation in the post ;)

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still
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by still » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:51 am

No. 1 FFF. Agree with all others. Zero problem. This is in your mind rather than reality. I speak from experience as for years I suffered from terrible facial dysmorphia. I thought I was truly hideous, like some kind of monster. Use to cross the road to avoid walking past bus queues, 'La Belle et la Bette' was my favourite films, wandered the streets a lot at night..... Now I'm not the most attractive man on the planet!!, but I now realise I'm not that bad.

So, you can trust me!

PS - can't resist!! - I'm getting married today.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Mini E » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:13 am

Good luck!! That's awesome. Where's the GRcade live feed?!

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Thu Nov 23, 2017 10:35 am

Thank you guys for the replies! I feel a bit better and tbh surprised with the responses. I thought everyone would say that my lower jaw was abnormal and I would benefit from surgery.
I wish I posted in forums with photos years ago instead of just keeping it to myself...but found it difficult to even take the side profile photos of myself :/

Another thing though is I see so many guys on youtube etc getting this surgery done and their chins look way better than mine to begin with so makes me feel insecure and I say to myself if they are doing it then why shouldn't I...

Well I still have this appointment scheduled and can't cancel it now...so I'll go and have a chat anyway. He did say in the letter 2 years ago that if I wanted another opinion after my treatment then I can go back to see him. So no harm in this I guess.

Congratulations still! Have a great day! Thanks for coming online and posting even in your wedding day!

PS the links to my photos doesn't seem to work right now...think the site is down for now. Just incase anyone clicks on them and thinks I took them down.

new link
https://imgur.com/a/jxMhX

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by jawafour » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:01 pm

still wrote:...PS - can't resist!! - I'm getting married today.


Image

That's terrific, still - thanks for all the advice and help that you have offered to folk in this thread :wub: .

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:36 pm

Its up to you really. Important to note that external surgery doesnt fix mental issues. If you are a downer on your appearance you will remain one after the surgery, probably. Work on the brain part first and then decide about the external part.

If you do decide to go for surgeries then I dont see the issue with an implant. Much less invasive, much less dangerous, probably similar results.

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