Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:21 pm

Squinty wrote:
Qikz wrote:Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.


Seems like they are looking out for your welfare, assuming you are still working with the company. It may not seem like it now. They might feel you need a bit more time.

I can't say anything about dealing with people, dealing with a customer base, it doesn't get any better, I can assure you.


They don't give a strawberry float about my welfare. They just destroyed any confidence that I'd built up. All it does is reinforces the fact that nobody on this strawberry floating planet cares about me but my family. Everyone else can go strawberry float themselves.

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:50 pm

I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.

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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:14 pm

Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:56 pm

shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.

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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:01 pm

Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.


Is there anyway that you can talk to your boss about it or is it a finalised decision?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by smurphy » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:01 pm

Qikz wrote:I got made a manager at work the other month and I've been trying really hard to do a good job, it was going fine but recently within the last 2 weeks I've seemingly let everything get on top of me after a big mistake which I'm not even in trouble for. I've been getting more and more stressed, because the more I feel like I want to do a good job the more I've found it harder to keep up.


Certainly doesn't sound like it's nothing to do with the role.

You know more than any of us what your company is like and whether or not they are actually looking out for you, but either way it sounds like they've done you a favour.

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: RE: Re: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:08 pm

shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.


Is there anyway that you can talk to your boss about it or is it a finalised decision?


It's a finalised decision. I asked if I improved things if it would be reconsidered and he wouldn't give me an answer.

In the end though, they have done me a favour because it's made me realise I never should've trusted everything they were saying and I should never have wasted my time being anxious about whether or not I was making mistakes. I wasn't and they know it, everyone I've spoke to in the company cannot believe it and they gave me a sword and made me fall on it.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Karl » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:16 pm

I'm really sorry you're going through all this StayDead. It sounds like you've taken this very hard. I completely sympathise with why it's upset you, but I don't know if maybe it might help to contextualise it a bit -- you can always take the experience and move on to a different firm if you're no longer happy with your workplace.

On the careers side, the only advice I can give you is to play this strategically at work and try to remain professional. If it's final, you might have to pretend you're OK with the decision until you're ready to hand in your notice and 'seek more challenging roles elsewhere', for the sake of your reference.

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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:27 pm

Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.


Is there anyway that you can talk to your boss about it or is it a finalised decision?


It's a finalised decision. I asked if I improved things if it would be reconsidered and he wouldn't give me an answer.

In the end though, they have done me a favour because it's made me realise I never should've trusted everything they were saying and I should never have wasted my time being anxious about whether or not I was making mistakes. I wasn't and they know it, everyone I've spoke to in the company cannot believe it and they gave me a sword and made me fall on it.
Sorry to hear that mate because I know how it feels to go through periods of feeling anxious about everything even if you're still doing a good job. It sounds both like a shitty move from them if you explained all this to them and also maybe in the long term this will be a blessing for you.

I know it's easy to say but use it as an experience, don't beat yourself up about it and remember the confidence / what you done to get into the position to be considered a manager.

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:00 pm

Confidence has always been a really hard thing for me to find and it's going to take me a long long time to get over this. I get so anxious over the little things that when the big things happen it destroys me. I guess realistically I'm still on the same pay so it could be much worse, but now I could end up having to answer to someone I do not respect and I know that my company do not trust me to do a good job and that hurts. I'm going to have to stay professional atleast until I can find another job, but then the stress of having to go for interviews again is terrifying me.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:13 pm

I won't repeat what others have said although I want to be sympathetic, but if you are on the same pay, with less responsibilities, you may find that it is is easier to cope with whatever is causing your anxiety (regardless of whether that's the work or not), and give you time to figure things out without being under pressure, as you say yourself you were constantly feeling at fault and inadequate for making little mistakes or not doing things as perfectly as you think you should do (I suffer from perfectionism too and have had to basically un-learn it).

You may feel like leaving and being given more responsibilities somewhere else will enhance your confidence, but the process of doing that, moving jobs, and potentially being unemployed for sometime, may work out worse for you. You may not like the people and you will need to re-establish relationships you have become familier with over a long period of adjustment from when you were initially looking for work. So I would urge you to take some time this weekend to think about how things might look in say 2-3 weeks, and evaluate how you feel at a later date. Perhaps speaking to a councillor if you can access one.

I did end up reducing my hours voluntarily and working from home for a long time until I left the company because I was not coping with anxiety, so that might help you feel better knowing that it's a not uncommon resolution from a managerial perspective. They do need you working at your best and happiest, even if it means having a different title or having more people above you. Sometimes that just isn't the most important thing in life, where you stand in that hierarchy - your health is.

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:36 pm

I'm not planning on leaving before finding another job, but I don't think I can trust them anymore.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:05 pm

<]:^D wrote:is there anything youre in to that you could socialise via? like, a sports team or something?
easier said than done - ive been 'thinking' about joining the local baseball team for months :fp:

Brerlappin wrote:It's okay Preezy, I'm a friendless strawberry float too :lol:

Nah in all seriousness tho it sounds like you could do with a hobby or activity that takes you out the house a night or two a week. Weren't you doing Muay Thai for a bit? Are you still doing it? Before i got sick and was still training I did find a good sense of camaraderie and totally hetero not at all gay male bonding at my BJJ gym. Something like that could do you good.

Must be thinking of someone else with the Muay Thai, Brer, definitely not me.

You’re both probably right, I could do with a hobby and sports are an easy way to get social. Can I be arsed though? That’s the question (and the answer is usually no :slol: ).

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:39 am

Qikz wrote:I'm not planning on leaving before finding another job, but I don't think I can trust them anymore.


Honestly, give it a bit more time and evaluate the situation after a week or two. I would try not to take this as a failure
or embarrassment. This is easy for me to say, but try not to don't beat yourself up any further.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Hime » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:44 am

I think your being a bit harsh on yourself, Preezy. Seeing your best mate once a month is pretty good going, especially if you don't live near each other now and you have a wife and kid. I'm lucky if I see my old best mate group once a year at the moment. I would class the other friends I see once a month or so as people I see regularly.

I do have the gym and golf at the weekends for some lad bants but your situation sounds pretty normal to me.

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:44 am

Well I cried myself to sleep last night and I'm trying to do anything I can to avoid work, but I know that I've got to go.

Part of me has realised though that maybe I don't want to be a manager anyway. I never was able to do any good, all you ever found out about was the bad and it's all interior company politics bullshit. It still doesn't make me feel any better and it still doesn't change the fact I want to look elsewhere but at least I don't have to deal with anyone elses gooseberry fool anymore.

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Qikzmas
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikzmas » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:26 pm

I finished for the day and you know what. I don't care about being a manager. I get to keep the money I'm on and I get to do far less work and still end up looking better than everyone else.

I also don't have to deal with office politics bullshit. Also had some cool comeuppance because the idiot who they've replaced me with couldn't leave for an hour as she couldn't find her car keys. hahahahaha

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Harry Ellis » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:04 pm

Try to take the positives from this experience, Qikz. Extra cash in your pocket, managerial experience, albeit briefly, and perhaps most importantly, you've learnt through experience that you don't want to be a manager of people and be part of the whole managerial political web bullshit.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by I Believe In Stool Bloke » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:12 pm

I do feel as though I have been forever entangled in the management web of politics and dirty gossip. In one way it is incredibly entertaining to be involved in so much secretive stuff but in another it is a strawberry floating nightmare. You're always one step away from landing in a deep pile of gooseberry fool.

I'm terrible for it as well. For some reason I get told every secret bit of gossip going, even though I've got a massive strawberry floating mouth and can't be trusted with anything. I'll strawberry float myself over one of these days.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:13 pm

I was really quite offended how rude and judgemental my manager was when referring to other people generally outside the department. the thing was I often knew these people and found them perfectly fine provided you had any people skills and well, weren't an arrogant, judgemental dickhead. It seemed I was expected to wave along and laugh at these jokes but instead I just felt, what a knob, is this what your job is, to just lament other people instead of fixing the problem? A while later I just realised they were a bad manager and stopped giving a strawberry float really. I don't understand how that kind of culture is supposed to work.

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