Tragic Magic wrote:Feeling pretty gooseberry fool tonight. I started a new job 7 weeks ago and it's been going great but I just didn't fit in anywhere at tonight's Christmas party and I sat in silence for pretty much the whole evening, stuck between two groups chatting amongst themselves, with both people beside me leaning in with their backs turned in my direction. Everyone started doing a quiz in teams and "fight or flight" came over me and I put my coat on and slipped out without anyone noticing.
I hope no one brings it up on Monday and asks why I just left because I feel like gooseberry fool. I'm socially retarded around new people, that's for sure.
I can sympathise, I had much the same experience last night at our party. I've been there nearly a year now and while I wouldn't say I've made proper friends there, I'd like to think I get on with most people, but most of the time I was on my own or wandering around trying to get in on conversations. I don't suffer with any anxiety or anything like that, and I'm normally a motormouth in social situations, but last night I felt properly left out. Mostly because I wasn't drinking and most people were, so they were having drunk chats, but despite my efforts i just didn't feel part of the fun.
It really got to me when I came to leave though, as I got my coat and tried to say bye to a few people but they pretty much blanked me (I don't think it was on purpose though, as I say most were well oiled by then), but I walked out and when I got to the car I just felt like I didn't exist and most people wouldn't notice I'd even gone. Years ago I would have been right in the mix of the fun and staying out with all of them, but now I don't even feel included and I don't know what's happend. It doesn't help half of them are really young and it's a howdoyoudofellowkids situation.