Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Karl wrote:

False wrote:my girlfriend thinks I have aspergers and everyone I have incredulously mentioned this to is like, yeah, sounds about right

I was chatting with a girl mate of mine and told her about it and she said she had been operating on the understanding that I was autistic for like the 9 years shes known me

I have an IRL friend called Chris who has Asperger's and he has followed a pretty similar life trajectory to you in a lot of ways. I've never thought of you in that way before but now I can't unsee it.

It's a bit of a pain to get assessed for it as an adult but you should have a go and see where it leads you if you're curious.

Sadly I find this to be the case for anything of that ilk as an adult - it took me nearly five years from my bringing it up with a mental health professional to actually being diagnosed with ADHD and mild anxiety.

Karl wrote:

False wrote:my girlfriend thinks I have aspergers and everyone I have incredulously mentioned this to is like, yeah, sounds about right

I was chatting with a girl mate of mine and told her about it and she said she had been operating on the understanding that I was autistic for like the 9 years shes known me

I have an IRL friend called Chris who has Asperger's and he has followed a pretty similar life trajectory to you in a lot of ways. I've never thought of you in that way before but now I can't unsee it.

It's a bit of a pain to get assessed for it as an adult but you should have a go and see where it leads you if you're curious.

Sadly I find this to be the case for anything of that ilk as an adult - it took me nearly five years from my bringing it up with a mental health professional to actually being diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety.

I'm not expecting this to work for everyone but have any you guys/girls tried CBD?

It's known to help with a lot of different illnesses and mental conditions. I think it's sold in a few health shops, places like Holland & Barrett's etc but I've heard their products can be very lacklustre so I'd advise shopping online.

There are different ways you can take it: Drops, vape, tablets, creams.

I know some of the medication the doctors give out does more harm than good and CBD is just a healthier, more natural remedy with very little side effects. It may take a couple weeks for some (everyone's body is different) to see the benefits and to find the correct dosage but if it helps just one person on here then that would be awesome.

Sorry if this post is a bit all over the place, I've just woke up

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask.

Ive tried, didnt work

Does anybody else work in a workplace where they have nothing in common with any of their colleagues? I guess it's my own fault but it's really starting to effect my mood.

Fade wrote:Does anybody else work in a workplace where they have nothing in common with any of their colleagues? I guess it's my own fault but it's really starting to effect my mood.

You'll find that you have plenty in common, the problem with our culture is that people are afraid of being different so they won't express their love of anything "geeky".

If you can brave one of the office nights out you'll find out all kinds of weird stuff about people.

Fade wrote:Does anybody else work in a workplace where they have nothing in common with any of their colleagues? I guess it's my own fault but it's really starting to effect my mood.

I have very little in common with most of my colleagues. They are either quite a bit older than me or quite a bit younger than me. there's never really been anyone in my age bracket. My pop culture references tend to fall on on deaf ears at either end of the spectrum.

That said my 4 closest work friends are 10 years older than me, 10 years younger, 11 years younger and 17 years younger than me. They make work bearable for me and I always enjoy working with them.

I tend to feel left out when everyone is talking kids, grandkids and families.

This is more about advice.

I work beside a girl here who's under a year with us, anyway she's just gone through a break up with her bf of 10years and unknown to the rest of the office she's crying to herself nearly every day. She's Polish and she's confided a lot to me that she's been depressed for the past 2 years which prompted the break up but she has no one to turn to. I've told her she can contact me anytime but of course there's only so much I can do.

I'm genuinely worried about her as she seems to be getting worse. I can't really talk to her in depth about her situation in the office but she's now living alone and says she hates going home and the weekends. She's still in love with her ex so I've kinda told her to rekindle that side or at least get closure but, yeah, should I ignore her or is there any other way to help her as she's genuinely a nice person?

When you say she's "just" gone through a breakup, how recently did they actually break up?

Without that knowledge, in your situation I would be as understanding as possible and try to reassure her that time really is a great healer and in due time she'll be able to move past her current funk. Spend as much time with friends as possible.

Drumstick wrote:When you say she's "just" gone through a breakup, how recently did they actually break up?

Without that knowledge, in your situation I would be as understanding as possible and try to reassure her that time really is a great healer and in due time she'll be able to move past her current funk. Spend as much time with friends as possible.

They broke up at Christmas, and that's just it, she has no friends, they all moved back home or the ones here haven't talked in years.

That's probably what would happen to me if we broke up. She needs to make friends, which is really, really hard in the situation she is in. I find it difficult to suggest anything without knowing the person but at least she has regular contact with people at work, and the fact that you or anyone are speaking to her will help her feel less isolated. She could go to her GP and get on the list for counselling but it would take strawberry floating ages for a common thing like a breakup, unfortunately they're unlikely to take it seriously unless she's suicidal.

This website has volunteers for random strangers to talk to if they are feeling depressed and lonely, you could try suggesting that? https://www.7cups.com/

It's nerve-wracking but there are also clubs and things on meetup.com, are there any clubs organised at work?

I think people do in some cases get more isolated within a relationship than out of one because they depend on their partner for emotional support and any kind of socialising. It'll take her a long time to remember who she was without them and how to interact with others again but those skills won't be totally lost forever.

The best thing you can do is ask her how she is doing because it's likely hardly anybody else is even doing that.

In some cases couples don't even need to talk that much because there isn't much left to say (for better or worse) so you can become more introverted in a relationship than without one.

Photek wrote:This is more about advice.

I work beside a girl here who's under a year with us, anyway she's just gone through a break up with her bf of 10years and unknown to the rest of the office she's crying to herself nearly every day. She's Polish and she's confided a lot to me that she's been depressed for the past 2 years which prompted the break up but she has no one to turn to. I've told her she can contact me anytime but of course there's only so much I can do.

I'm genuinely worried about her as she seems to be getting worse. I can't really talk to her in depth about her situation in the office but she's now living alone and says she hates going home and the weekends. She's still in love with her ex so I've kinda told her to rekindle that side or at least get closure but, yeah, should I ignore her or is there any other way to help her as she's genuinely a nice person?

A few things I tried with varying degrees of success when I went through my breakup a few years ago:

See a doctor. If she's crying at work and depressed they should give her some medication (if she's not already on it) or alter her medication to something more suitable.

Counselling. This was the big one for me, I was suicidal so things got taken very seriously but all the counselling I got (crisis team, "ordinary" counselling, sex therapy, finally being assigned a mental health nurse for a year) was a god send. Even if she isn't "that bad" she may get referred to counselling. Someone I work with has just gone through a bad breakup and found being referred pretty easy. Self-referral may be a way to go too. If she goes this route definitely mention the 2 years of depression.

She needs to find stuff to occupy her time. Try making friends, join a social group. I was gooseberry fool at this but used to go to the cinema on my own a lot. Yes I was alone but for those few hours I didn't have to think or pretend to anyone that I was doing better than I was. I could just lose myself in a film. I also did volunteer dog walking at the weekends I hated being alone for the whole weekend so this helped.

I was totally in love with my ex when we split (we split for a variety of reasons, my mental health being a factor) and the hardest thing for me was making that final split. We tried staying in touch but I had to finally say enough was enough and cut all contact. Which I managed for 9 month until we started divorce proceedings. I did finally get closure but it was very unorthodox and particular to our situation. It was really rough but it needed to be done. We're now friends and see each other occasionally but that's a story for another time. It's hard to comment because I don't know her and how likely it is she'll get back together with her boyfriend but zero contact really helped me.

Be there as a friend to her. It may not seem like a lot but just asking how she's doing will help. It helped me. I had a few close friends but even colleagues that I'm not particularly close to checked in on me and it meant the world. The guys on this forum even tracked me down to check if I was OK after I talked about suicide. It was unexpected but really appreciated

I'm not sure how much help this is but hopefully there's something in there that's of some use

Just wanted to pop in here and mention that I have had a read through, and I think this is a great thread and you lot don't get enough credit. I think it's great you have a place to talk about important matters such as mental health.

cocacola wrote:Just wanted to pop in here and mention that I have had a read through, and I think this is a great thread and you lot don't get enough credit. I think it's great you have a place to talk about important matters such as mental health.

We're all mad here.

On a more serious note I'm once again battling with my own mood given my recent falling out with my parents. Seems just as I get one thing back on track something else goes pear shaped. I'm incredibly anxious about the apologetic letter I'd sent them and the for a response I receive, if at all. That said, I am a bit pissed off that they didn't post a card or even call their grand daughter on her birthday. If they wish to shut me out (I won't be the first relation they've shut out in my parents blameless lives), then so be it, but it's not any fault of my kids.

So yes. Anxious, angry, annoyed and fighting off the depression I can feel looming in the background. My daily nightmares have gone into overdrive as well. Some really mental stuff.

I've been seeing a counsellor which is helpful, however I saw them on Wednesday and yesterday for my 30th I saw my dad which was incredibly painful at times because less than 24hrs previously I was talking about horrible stuff he did. In the end I had my head in my hands and was wiping away tears walking down the street, because we had obviously not talked about anything bad that needs to be talked about after 25 years and I was having to ignore all of that in my brain the entire time we were eating lunch. He asked that if he was making me sad he can disappear, I told him "that was your first mistake" (as he left when I was 5 years old). I also explained that I have learnt not to believe that anyone can "make" you feel anything and to take responsibility for your emotions, as that is one way to survive. Maybe I taught him something rather than running away from your problems, I have no idea. Of course it's very convenient to offer to "disappear" if someone is upset because it means not helping that person deal with their problems or taking any responsibility for their experiences. He is a coward.

Gemini73 wrote:

cocacola wrote:Just wanted to pop in here and mention that I have had a read through, and I think this is a great thread and you lot don't get enough credit. I think it's great you have a place to talk about important matters such as mental health.

We're all mad here.

I think we're all mad in our own way, and we're all facing our own demons in our own head. That's why I tend not to judge people straight away, or take the p*ss out of someone, because you don't know what they are going through or thinking...

I do that and I end up making friends with individuals that nobody else understands why I am friends with, or even merely talking to, them.

cocacola wrote:

Gemini73 wrote:

cocacola wrote:Just wanted to pop in here and mention that I have had a read through, and I think this is a great thread and you lot don't get enough credit. I think it's great you have a place to talk about important matters such as mental health.

We're all mad here.

I think we're all mad in our own way, and we're all facing our own demons in our own head. That's why I tend not to judge people straight away, or take the p*ss out of someone, because you don't know what they are going through or thinking...

Sorry for the double post, but has anyone found counselling useful for anxiety? Over the last few years, I have had a few bad things happen which has caused me a lot of distress, I won't delve in to it, but would counselling be a sufficient way to get over things, and make me calm and happy?

Counselling is intended to help you figure out a focus point for you to move forward in your own way by talking though issues with someone non-judgemental or biased about you in a certain way (e.g. friends/parents) and as they're typically paid or interested in psychotherapy have a vested interest in understanding you better. But they're not really meant to "make" you better. If you want to actually intervene with your personal biochemistry and increase for example serotonin or regulate dopamine production or have help with heather/more sleep then you need to see a psychiatrist to prescribe medication or try exercise or meditation. I find it helpful to talk through gooseberry fool I very rarely talk about or stuff that other people are unwilling or fed up with listening to and have no practical suggestions for dealing with the problems. And they can help refer you to other forms of therapy or groups that might be of benefit.

At the moment I'm focusing on family problems with my councillor (it took an age to get to one without having to pay as I am on low income) which while has of course come up in previous sessions with mental health care practitioners has never really been a focal point of discussion since, well, ever. I just turned 30 and I can't be strawberry floated dealing with those repeated traumas and sadnesses over and over again anymore, although ultimately I know it won't go away until I confront the person responsible. The trouble there is that sometimes confrontation can be more disruptive to your daily life and wellbeing than talking to a therapist because it could just end up creating new trauma, especially if there is violence or further emotional abuse likely to happen because the person that caused the trauma to begin with is basically a banana split. I have had mental health team people say not to do that even when I felt it was absolutely the necessary thing to do because I was too ill to do it and would probably just come off worse.

I've asked for family counselling but my father won't do it even when I presented an ultimatum to ever see me again. Sometimes there's really just no point confronting someone who won't change or even admit that they ever did anything wrong or even apologise, you will just end up more frustrated if a person is in any way responsible for mental trauma like bullying, abuse etc.