Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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jawafour
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PostRe: Depression
by jawafour » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:45 am

Akai XIII wrote:Yes. I was told as long as I hadn't killed myself not to worry...

Akai, I'm not an expert in this field, but it sounds like you do need to talk again with your doctor. I could perhaps understand a "one-off" incident being airbrushed-over, but if you are returning to self-harm than that must trigger warning signs with your doc.

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Akai XIII
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PostRe: Depression
by Akai XIII » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:55 am

To be honest my doctor(s) are kinda gooseberry fool. They just change my medication, or offer me time off work. I've had time off work before and it never really helps. The change in medication strawberry floats me up for a few weeks and then settles for a few months then goes back to being nothing. It never goes beyond surface cuts - I have a family to support and look after... Still, it's not fun.

My mother committed suicide, it's something I can't see myself doing.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression
by Fade » Sun Jan 08, 2017 1:17 am

Akai XIII wrote:
jawafour wrote:
Akai XIII wrote:Back to self harming...

Have you sought help for this aspect in the past, Akai?

Yes. I was told as long as I hadn't killed myself not to worry.

It made me extremely angry, funnily enough.

Doctors don't seem to care about it a huge deal... most of them are not very good at empathising, and I can't blame them really with stuff they have to deal with.
Have you tried having an elastic band around your wrist and hurting yourself with that when you feel like harming?

I did that once when I had a bit of a relapse last month and it seemed to help. But then I only used to hit myself and not cut so I guess it might depend on that...

have you eve had proper counselling? Because meds aren't going to change anything on their own they just make you more open to change. You need to rewire the way you process things.

I'm still not 100% but I'm a lot better than I was and I'm slowly making progress.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression
by Green Gecko » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:28 am

This country really needs to sort out access to therapy.

Low cost councilling, students etc, can be 4 to 12 quid per hour over here. It can really help. You can get info from your gp or psychiatrist.

I've been to therapy before and it did help although I still felt a little aimless, but it gave me the conviction I needed to change my job and do things I enjoy more like guitar that were kind of being hammered out of me. It made me focus on my health and direction, not other stuff that was worrying me excessively.

I've only really hit and asphyxiated before and have bad thoughts, once I put myself in extreme danger for no good reason. But I'm too squeamish to cut. I've also starved. There's a lot of forms of self harm, not all of them are obvious. I mostly stopped hitting when I broke my knuckle, and its too traumatic to forget so it serves as a painful reminder not to do it.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression
by Fade » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:17 pm

I mean I had to wait a few months but iTalk is really good. It's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

But it's only available in and around Hampshire I think. I don't know if other counties have similar schemes.

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more heat than light
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PostRe: Depression
by more heat than light » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:32 pm

This kind of thing is ruining my life. Seriously anything that requires me to deal with people who are a bit 'blokey' causes me to just feel like a completely useless human being. I have so little self confidence as it is, and I'm constantly paranoid about people laughing at my laugh of masculinity or knowledge of the world. I'll often join in, laughing at my lack of knowledge in a self deprecating way but it just kills me. I wish I could be like other guys, having a beer down the pub and talking about birds and cars, but it just isn't who I am. Feel sick just thinking about having to phone someone and trying to blag my way through a conversation about what's wrong with my car. 'So, what's the problem'? Er, I dunno, it doesn't go. strawberry floating idiot.

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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Fade
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PostRe: Depression
by Fade » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:54 pm

Chutney Jinglecrystals wrote:This kind of thing is ruining my life. Seriously anything that requires me to deal with people who are a bit 'blokey' causes me to just feel like a completely useless human being. I have so little self confidence as it is, and I'm constantly paranoid about people laughing at my laugh of masculinity or knowledge of the world. I'll often join in, laughing at my lack of knowledge in a self deprecating way but it just kills me. I wish I could be like other guys, having a beer down the pub and talking about birds and cars, but it just isn't who I am. Feel sick just thinking about having to phone someone and trying to blag my way through a conversation about what's wrong with my car. 'So, what's the problem'? Er, I dunno, it doesn't go. strawberry floating idiot.

I would have quite enjoyed being a carpenter like my dad, but I worked with him once and the people that go into those type of jobs, I just can't stand most of them. I only helped out for a couple of weeks but even that was incredibly draining. I think women think that it's only them who are effected by those type of guys and sexism. No I don't get 'harassed' but if I didn't act 'blokey' around those type of people I'd get the piss taken something chronic.

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Gently-Parted Ringpiece
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PostRe: Depression
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:59 pm

Why is there any blagging required?

Get it there, tell the guy what the problem is and he'll take a look. Dont blag anything, you'll only dilute the problem solving process.

I can promise you that calling a mechanic about your broken car isnt going to result in you chairing the weekly headkickers anon. meeting down at the local pissup shack.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression
by Green Gecko » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:59 pm

Why do women even come into it?

They knobs, that's about it. "Blokes" rat on each other doing manual work because it's otherwise pretty draining and dull.

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more heat than light
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PostRe: Depression
by more heat than light » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:04 pm

Falsey's Sack wrote:Why is there any blagging required?

Get it there, tell the guy what the problem is and he'll take a look. Dont blag anything, you'll only dilute the problem solving process.


I mean they will ask me questions about my car and I won't know the answers, and rather than say 'I don't know' which would be the correct thing to do, I'll try to look cool and say something stupid, which will inevitably lead to me looking like more of a fool. Yes I know that is completely idiotic.

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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PostRe: Depression
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:10 pm

I know where you are coming from, everybody has been in that position.

Know this though, fam, there is no shame in not knowing something. If you dont know and you want to know, ask. Aint nobody born knowing everything, even if they act like they were.

Would you be going to the pros if you knew how to sort it yourself? No. They know this and they know the score. Tell them how it is and if you want more info ask them.

Also, funnily enough, I think you'll find most mechanics (and carpenters) are normal people, just like you are. Their environment and skillset is different to yours, but they arent an alien. Treat them like a human and you'll probably find the courtesy returned.

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more heat than light
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PostRe: Depression
by more heat than light » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:28 pm

Deep down I know that really, I just find the feeling that people find me 'unmanly' difficult to shake. I'm still getting over that time my car broke down and everyone at work took the piss because I didn't know where the spare tyre was. :fp:

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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Rex Kramer
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PostRe: Depression
by Rex Kramer » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:35 pm

I've no idea how anyone who isn't a manufacturer trained mechanic can look under a bonnet these days and know what is wrong.

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PostRe: Depression
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:36 pm

I wouldnt worry so much about what defines a man, dude. Manly is as manly does. So you dont know cars, strawberry float it.

Im shite with electrics and have never really done much plumbing ;)

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more heat than light
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PostRe: Depression
by more heat than light » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:41 pm

Cheers guys, I appreciate the reassurance. I'll give it another try tomorrow. :)

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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Fade
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PostRe: Depression
by Fade » Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:28 pm

Falsey's Sack wrote:I know where you are coming from, everybody has been in that position.

Know this though, fam, there is no shame in not knowing something. If you dont know and you want to know, ask. Aint nobody born knowing everything, even if they act like they were.

Would you be going to the pros if you knew how to sort it yourself? No. They know this and they know the score. Tell them how it is and if you want more info ask them.

Also, funnily enough, I think you'll find most mechanics (and carpenters) are normal people, just like you are. Their environment and skillset is different to yours, but they arent an alien. Treat them like a human and you'll probably find the courtesy returned.

Really? Because 90% of the ones I worked with were pretty racist, sexist and homophobic. And I worked with them for 12 hours a day over the course of a few weeks. Not saying everyone is like that but it does attract those kind of people. The school's I've volunteered in could not be more different to that.

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PostRe: Depression
by Rocsteady » Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:32 pm

Hm, I think we're treading into some unnecessarily heavy stereotypes here. Sure, plenty of tradesmen are strawberry floating bellends - much like the population as a whole although admittedly probably slightly more likely to be so - but I know plenty of people who work in the trades and are liberally minded.

I do agree with you, though, that expecting men to take on and act up to typical masculinity roles hinders both males and females.

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Fade
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PostRe: Depression
by Fade » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:01 pm

I did say not everyone is like that. There was this lovely eastern European guy there who was basically Lenny from mice and men (but not as stupid). Never said a bad word about anyone and always tried to help me.

I'm just saying it typically attracts 'blokes' who have a higher tendency of not being very 'politically correct'

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PostRe: Depression
by Corazon de Leon » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:07 pm

By the same token I know and have worked with plenty of PhD candidates who are racist, sexist homophobes( :slol: ). It's an anecdotal thing - you can't tar an entire walk of life, essentially, by a few people you had a bad experience with.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression
by Green Gecko » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:26 pm

I've been a tradesman and an academic and an IT guy and a designer, what say you.

I find it refreshingly easy to get excited about stuff like screwdrivers and the right bit with tradesmen and I'm a massive nerd. Maybe I just act well. The truth is with these guys they are HUGE nerds, it's just a different type of knowledge. I don't really get the idea that tradesmen are generally simple-minded folk out on the bants like, permanently. Sure they make light on things because their job is bloody hard but, ironically, letting your guard down and trying to give less strawberry floats is the key to getting on with them.

If they really are being aggressive dicks then just walk away and they fall flat on their arse, because their "trick" is being a rude banana split. But "they" (I'm not even sure who we're talking about) aren't really like that inside, it's all an act.

Just like how I heard an ex football holligan on the radio the other day, confessing how he never cried and had massive emotional/anger problems until he came to terms with football being a distraction from the real problems. What with football being super manly and all that stuff.

Cars are a similar thing, it's all just externalised gruff macho bollocks - the fact is they are very knowledgeable and I guess the only real trend with manliness/strength/aggression is the fact you need to be quite built and fit to handle heavy tools and parts etc.

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