My gf took me to the hospital and was in a bit of a huff with me. They put a cannula in me and ran the tests etc and gave me a poke and all that but nothing conclusive. A suspicion Ive had is that the lump is actually all my guts in a spasm which I think would explain the pain as well as being able to feel it. The doc mentioned that the parts of my liver he could feel were ok but theres not a lot he can tell me until a scan and I have to go and have that tomorrow morning.
The cannula stung quite a bit tbh and the hole is kind of hot in my arm even now but thats really minor beans in the whole scheme. Still, not dead yet.
Also by in my head I mean it could just be one of those psychosomatic manifestations or something. I dont feel stressed or anxious that Im aware of but I mean Im on this crazy diet and it isnt helping, Ive had loads of different medicines the last couple of months and they did nothing, Ive been tested and checked and stuff and this scan is sort of my last ditch checkup.
On the one side something showing up would be a (terrible) relief because it shows that there is something actually physically wrong but I obviously dont want that. The other avenue if the scans show nothing is that its definitely in my mind somehow and how do I deal with that? Im trying to be a positive person and resolve this bullshit with a silly diet (FODMAP, if you care) and hippy ass mindfulness but if it turns out there is nothing there how can I be anything but hopeless? Ill just be resolved to this kind of never ending non-functionality and its not really the life I want to lead.
I havent complained to my gf about it too much because if I did it would be all I ever did. Its just constant wrenching gut pain and it impedes every aspect of my life at the moment. I feel like my work think Im just wagging it or being a wuss but its really to the point where I cant move sometimes.
It sounds like you might be resigned to being essentially disabled. It sucks, but the only way to live is to work with what you have. If you are depressive it's paramount everything you do is focused towards trying to achieve a balance while taking care of yourself and accepting your limitations. I say this with a lifelong disability and I'm not currently unhappy. I don't know how painful your condition is but my experience living with my disabled mother is that it doesn't really matter how your pain compares to anyone else. You can only talk to your pain and strive to succeed by simply living. It might help to look towards someone you find inspiring. I hope your diagnosis isn't too serious. I just found out one of my role models, a rock sessions drummer I knew growing up and would gig most days of the year (literally back to back) has been diagnosed with colon cancer. Even the most massive, energetic people get hit with roadblocks when it's least expected. I was doing quite well when I fell down the strawberry floating stairs.
As for bloating, I've been awful while I was on tonnes of pain medication after fracturing my spine. I had to wake up at 4am like clockwork with a giant burp. Sometimes I felt like throwing up.
My girlfriend has IBS. I drank liquid gaviscon, you get it in giant bottles. Effervescent paracetamol powder in water also helps (the fizzy stuff, you can get it in Tescos for nothing). Ginger tea also seemed to help a bit. It's subsided since I came off the pain meds (thank god, the last thing I wanted was to be addicted to opioids), but it worked for me. You might also want to investigate allergies. You can get blood tests, but I hear they are expensive and can sometimes be a load of bullshit. Gluten free made a huge difference to my wellbeing 10 years ago now. I wasn't passing out after eating a big baguette or pie or whatever and getting painful indigestion all the time. There aren't necessarily any symptoms of coeliacs disease. Doctors only treat symptoms. If they don't physically observe any it's just dunno lol. My blood tests came back negative (something they neglected to tell me for several years) but at that time I'd already cut out gluten entirely so there weren't going to be any signs of inflammation.
Well, a colonoscopy will confirm for sure. But no symptoms of no cause like I say. The diet made an almost immediate difference for me. I was literally over the moon the day I ate a salad for lunch and had a really enjoyable session with my band. I was telling everyone about it. So that's probably not it.
Good idea to cut stuff out though. IBS is a gooseberry fool, it may be particularly bad. It seems to come on worse in your late twenties.