Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:22 pm

Im used to it. I always had friends but I was on the fringes of most social groups. Tended to be forgotten or left out, especially as Im not the kind of person who was willing to ask or speak out about attending or going to things.

To be honest Im probably happier with my social situation now. Few good friends, decent work mates, making good connections in certain 'scenes' - but most people at a comfortable arms length so I dont have to bother when I want to be alone.

Is it possible Ad that your friend didnt think it would be 'your thing'? I know you play the grump but did you ever issue a long diatribe about weddings or the culture or marriage or something? Maybe your friend thought they were sparing you. Im a famously miserable arsehole so this has happened to me a few times.

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Lotus
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lotus » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:42 pm

Drumstick wrote:
Lotus wrote:
Drumstick wrote:I was in the opposite situation. Two of my childhood friends simply didn't turn up on my wedding day as they forgot. We only see each other about once a year and aren't as close as we used to be, but I still class them as good friends.

It isn't something I hold against them though. They have apologised and made it clear that they feel suitably bad enough about it, so I've forgiven them.

Wat. Did you send them proper invites and such? How do you 'forget' a wedding you've been invited to?

Yes, proper invites. They've been the same disorganised messes since we were 12.

Crazy. I get some people are disorganised, but that's pretty severe.

And I kind of missed the main point off my post. :fp: The lack of letting me know/inviting me was kinda the final straw (that sounds like more of a big deal than it is, I'm not really that bothered) about making an effort and trying to maintain the friendship. If he wants to catch up in the future, sure, but I'm done going out of my way to keep in touch.

Some people just don't have the same mindset about friendship in general, but yes when you realise that somebody doesn't value a friendship the same as you do, it can be pretty crushing I guess. Especially as we get older though, and people get caught up with marriage and kids and such, they tend to forget/neglect their friends I find. Shame, but it's a way (admittedly a harsh one) of finding out who actually cares about you.

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Advent7
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Advent7 » Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:32 pm

Thanks everyone, 'nice to know it's not just me that gets things like this, not that I wish it on anyone else.

False wrote:Is it possible Ad that your friend didnt think it would be 'your thing'? I know you play the grump but did you ever issue a long diatribe about weddings or the culture or marriage or something? Maybe your friend thought they were sparing you. Im a famously miserable arsehole so this has happened to me a few times.


No chance - he was invited to our wedding (abroad though so didn't come which is totally fine). He knows how much I wanted to get married and I told him how gutted I was he couldn't come. So yeah there's no way he doesn't think its my thing, we'd have been there in a heartbeat.

Off the back of this I phoned another close friend who I hadn't actually spoken on the phone to in just under a year (thanks text messaging). Was really nice to catch up and we're going to make an effort to all meet up somewhere soon.

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Bethlehemster
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Bethlehemster » Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:38 pm

It's pretty gooseberry fool to not even think of you. maybe wait a little while and ask about it. Not in a confrontational way but just a hey, how's it going?

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:47 am

Ah yes the meeting up "soon"

I've been to about a wedding per year recently all uni friends.

I only know one school friend who got married, in russia. There's probably some I don't know about.

But my brother got married with no ceremony and told us afterward. So meh.

I think ever since going to my fathers wedding they've been not such a big deal as clearly don't always work. That was a strange experience. I was only 16 and got so drunk I almost died. I literally passed out locked in a portaloo and nobody found me until I woke up hours later. Imagine if I choked on my own vomit while my father concecrated his second marriage. I was pretty depressed back then but didn't understand it. No one did.

I always turn up to weddings though. Free food.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Wed Apr 11, 2018 7:44 am

Gecko gets it. That free food.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by OrangeReindeer » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:32 am

I think you're supposed to buy a gift equal to the cost of the food...

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Kezzer
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Kezzer » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:45 am

No, you just write your name on the tag of someone elses gift.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:45 am

But I have no money. And it often costs a lot of money to get there.

Last time I got a note in the post saying "thank you for your gift", but I didn't give them anything. :lol:

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:36 am

Well I guess this as good a place as any to reach out.

After a series of events at home, (once again relating to the wife undermining me in front of our children when one of them has been naughty as they were Sunday morning), I've been having a right horrid time of it. All day Sunday I felt incredibly low and now, moving into Monday, I can't sleep. Usually it passes by now, regardless of the trigger, but not this time. Can't seem to shake it.

No, not feeling very good at all and the more it goes on the more difficult I'm finding it to pull myself back, (as I normally would). Dreading work tomorrow.

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:37 am

My X wife became a bigger and bigger bitch till she assaulted me, I left with my daughter and battled in the court for full custody, call me jaded but I'd make notes of what she says and does and how it makes you feel just in case you ever need it. Plus getting it out your brain and into writing somewere might help you process it and then help lift you a little.

I don't know your wife but depending on what she's like a calm word about how down she's making you might help maybe?

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:33 am

Well, how I feel has had to take a back seat due to our youngest being up half the night with sickness and diarrhea. Life is never simple is it. :lol:

On the plus side care for my daughter has allowed me to snap out of it, or at the least suppress my anxiety somewhat. That said, outside of looking after our daughter I'm not engaging with the wife currently and have decided to sleep on the sofa in the games room. Think I must have had some kind of mental break yesterday as said games room is completely stripped back. Gadgets, collectables, mine and the children's drawings and paintings taken down, the lot, all packed up and boxed away. Aside from the PC and a couple of consoles it now looks more like a store room than a place to relax and chill. I clearly remember doing it, but it seemed strangely surreal to me this morning.

As for the wife, 'bitch' isn't a word I'd use to describe her, far from it. She is a wonderful mother and is very well liked both at work and on a social level. However, beyond our children and the "family life" (which is often pleasant) the wife and I no longer have anything in common. As a couple were living two separate lives. I've just become a bit of a fifth wheel around here and have been for a while. Not entirely sure what my role is, as far as she is concerned, if I'm honest.

This all sounds like something more suitable for the relationship thread, but the point being is I've always been an anxious person for as long as I can remember but events in the last 24 hours have magnified my anxiety and put me in 'down mode', so to speak. Defensive barriers are up and save for my children no one is getting in.

Anyway, time to put on the false smile and head into work. :slol:

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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kommissarboris
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kommissarboris » Wed Apr 18, 2018 8:38 pm

8 weeks of counselling for being a self harming nut job.

about half way through, it's good talking to someone, but haven't really got to the bottom of anything.

also been off work since January, with every 6 weeks getting more increasingly larger doses of antidepressants.

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:08 am

Had a 'sit down' with the wife. We actually came out of a good conversation both feeling a lot better about what we mean to each other, the family unit and our future. Naturally this eased my anxiety and snapped me out of my recent down time. As of right now feeling much better in myself.

That said I have agreed, and think it will do some good, to go see my GP and discuss my options for maybe talking to a professional about my anxiety and depression.

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Bethlehemster » Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:56 pm

Chatting is good. I reached a similar point with my ex but sadly we just came to realise it had run its course. Honesty and saying how you feel and how you can make each other feel is the best course. Hope it works out.

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Gemini73
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Wed Apr 25, 2018 5:37 pm

Denster wrote:Chatting is good. I reached a similar point with my ex but sadly we just came to realise it had run its course. Honesty and saying how you feel and how you can make each other feel is the best course. Hope it works out.


Yeah it's definitely helped both of us. Thanks, mate

“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. “Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here".
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Bethlehemster
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Bethlehemster » Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:05 pm

May it continue to do so.

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Johnny Ryall
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:25 pm

A colleague's partner committed suicide via overdose at the weekend. Poor fella has two young children to care for now.

Just reaffirmed that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Not judging her, just tragic all round really.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Fade » Thu Apr 26, 2018 7:25 am

I need some advice, my girlfriend was in an abusive relationship before being with me which has just really messed with her head.

We've been together a year but she will constantly ask me if I think she is annoying or hate her, I'm being as supportive as I can but she doesn't really seem to be getting any better and I don't know what to do. There's no real public services that deal with the kind of mental health problems she suffers from.

Every so often she we just freak out and tell me to leave (over literally nothing, or me changing plans because I feel ill)

Like last Sunday I spent 5 hours just sitting next to her while she cried and talked about wanting to die, I said all of the things you're meant to say to a depressed person but at the end of the five hours she tried to go in the kitchen and I assume take an overdose of paracetamol (she had taken 8 tablets at once that morning) but I stopped her and hugged her for like 10 minutes while she cried and she calmed down a while after that.

Sorry if that seems like a bit too much information I just really needed to get it down and ask for some help

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Snowballday » Thu Apr 26, 2018 7:53 am

Is there any way that can get her to see her doctor to discuss this? They may be able to help her somehow, maybe even point her towards some councilling for what has happened to her. I'm sorry if that's no help, I don't know what else to suggest.

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