Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:31 pm

Prezzy I know exactly how you feel, feeling alone sucks... I mostly just spend time with my fiancée, my dad and my daughter. I love all of them but yeah sometimes I miss having real proper none family/partner friends and how things used to be.

I suffer from PTSD and anxiety and all sorts but sometimes the above hits me a lot worse. I also used to be a mentor for children with mental health problems and if there is one thing I have learned it is never ever think your upset or hurt is worth less than someone else's everyone deserves to be listened to and to have a chance to vent.

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<]:^D
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by <]:^D » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:05 pm

Preezy lots of people are lonely; there was a survey that said recently that lots of men have no actual 'friends' of the kind youre describing so youre not alone (hah!)
i often feel the same way, i coach a youth group 3 times a week and i think that social interaction, plus that of my family keeps me sane. if i didnt do that id probably be screwed.
sorry, i dont have any advice; just wanted to say its not unusual to feel as you do!

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Preezy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:27 pm

It's the little things like seeing my wife's phone constantly pinging with chat from her various girly whatsapp groups (mums group, work friends group, normal friends group, yoga group etc etc), she can receive countless messages in a single evening. Meanwhile I can leave my phone upstairs and when I go to bed I'll just have one message from my mum reminding me to feed her pets whilst she's on holiday :| :lol:

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<]:^D
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by <]:^D » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:49 pm

is there anything youre in to that you could socialise via? like, a sports team or something?
easier said than done - ive been 'thinking' about joining the local baseball team for months :fp:

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:57 pm

Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.

The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:58 pm

They said they wanted the old me back and blamed the role, the old me is strawberry floating dead. This entire strawberry floating company and all the stupid strawberry floating idiotic people we have to deal with day in day out strawberry floating killed him. strawberry float them. It hurts so much.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:59 pm

I think it's just part of getting older. Everyone has their own worlds that they have created, those take precedence over everything else.

That's just my observation, I don't have a partner or kids. I do have friends who I see once a month or two who are in this same situation. They just can't be arsed because they are tired raising kids. I can only imagine what it must be like.

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Squinty
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:09 pm

Qikz wrote:Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.


Seems like they are looking out for your welfare, assuming you are still working with the company. It may not seem like it now. They might feel you need a bit more time.

I can't say anything about dealing with people, dealing with a customer base, it doesn't get any better, I can assure you.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:21 pm

Squinty wrote:
Qikz wrote:Hahahahahahahah strawberry float all this gooseberry fool.

After that period of anxiety they took the role away from me and now I want to strawberry floating hurt somebody. I feel like they've ripped out my heart and stamped on it. I strawberry floating hate that company. They fiinally made me believe I could actually be good at something and they just ripped that confidence away from me.


Seems like they are looking out for your welfare, assuming you are still working with the company. It may not seem like it now. They might feel you need a bit more time.

I can't say anything about dealing with people, dealing with a customer base, it doesn't get any better, I can assure you.


They don't give a strawberry float about my welfare. They just destroyed any confidence that I'd built up. All it does is reinforces the fact that nobody on this strawberry floating planet cares about me but my family. Everyone else can go strawberry float themselves.

The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:50 pm

I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.

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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:14 pm

Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then

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Qikz
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PostRe: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:56 pm

shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.

The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:01 pm

Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.


Is there anyway that you can talk to your boss about it or is it a finalised decision?

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smurphy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by smurphy » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:01 pm

Qikz wrote:I got made a manager at work the other month and I've been trying really hard to do a good job, it was going fine but recently within the last 2 weeks I've seemingly let everything get on top of me after a big mistake which I'm not even in trouble for. I've been getting more and more stressed, because the more I feel like I want to do a good job the more I've found it harder to keep up.


Certainly doesn't sound like it's nothing to do with the role.

You know more than any of us what your company is like and whether or not they are actually looking out for you, but either way it sounds like they've done you a favour.

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Qikz
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PostRe: RE: Re: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:08 pm

shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.


Is there anyway that you can talk to your boss about it or is it a finalised decision?


It's a finalised decision. I asked if I improved things if it would be reconsidered and he wouldn't give me an answer.

In the end though, they have done me a favour because it's made me realise I never should've trusted everything they were saying and I should never have wasted my time being anxious about whether or not I was making mistakes. I wasn't and they know it, everyone I've spoke to in the company cannot believe it and they gave me a sword and made me fall on it.

The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
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That
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by That » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:16 pm

I'm really sorry you're going through all this StayDead. It sounds like you've taken this very hard. I completely sympathise with why it's upset you, but I don't know if maybe it might help to contextualise it a bit -- you can always take the experience and move on to a different firm if you're no longer happy with your workplace.

On the careers side, the only advice I can give you is to play this strategically at work and try to remain professional. If it's final, you might have to pretend you're OK with the decision until you're ready to hand in your notice and 'seek more challenging roles elsewhere', for the sake of your reference.

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shadow202
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PostRe: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by shadow202 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:27 pm

Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:
shadow202 wrote:
Qikz wrote:I've talked things through with my Mum and Dad and the consensus seems to be that now should be the time I start looking elsewhere. I suffer from confidence issues anyway and having this happened has destroyed any trust I've got at this company. They did the exact same thing to one of my friends recently at the company (but with a different role) so I should've known this was coming.

I'm anxious on what the strawberry float to do now, but I guess all I need to do is keep myself out of trouble before I can leave and dump a huge pile of strawberry float you at their door.
Reading your post about how anxious your were in your role and your reaction to it I think the company may have done you a favour here mate. Think you need to step away from the situation for an hour or two, go see some friends, play a few games or something and have a few drinks and once you've calmed down then rethink it and see how you feel then


I was suffering from anxiety, but it had nothing to do with the role. He's pinning it on that, but it's happened on cycles throughout my entire life. It's a complete cop out. If anything now it just makes me feel like complete gooseberry fool.


Is there anyway that you can talk to your boss about it or is it a finalised decision?


It's a finalised decision. I asked if I improved things if it would be reconsidered and he wouldn't give me an answer.

In the end though, they have done me a favour because it's made me realise I never should've trusted everything they were saying and I should never have wasted my time being anxious about whether or not I was making mistakes. I wasn't and they know it, everyone I've spoke to in the company cannot believe it and they gave me a sword and made me fall on it.
Sorry to hear that mate because I know how it feels to go through periods of feeling anxious about everything even if you're still doing a good job. It sounds both like a shitty move from them if you explained all this to them and also maybe in the long term this will be a blessing for you.

I know it's easy to say but use it as an experience, don't beat yourself up about it and remember the confidence / what you done to get into the position to be considered a manager.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:00 pm

Confidence has always been a really hard thing for me to find and it's going to take me a long long time to get over this. I get so anxious over the little things that when the big things happen it destroys me. I guess realistically I'm still on the same pay so it could be much worse, but now I could end up having to answer to someone I do not respect and I know that my company do not trust me to do a good job and that hurts. I'm going to have to stay professional atleast until I can find another job, but then the stress of having to go for interviews again is terrifying me.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:13 pm

I won't repeat what others have said although I want to be sympathetic, but if you are on the same pay, with less responsibilities, you may find that it is is easier to cope with whatever is causing your anxiety (regardless of whether that's the work or not), and give you time to figure things out without being under pressure, as you say yourself you were constantly feeling at fault and inadequate for making little mistakes or not doing things as perfectly as you think you should do (I suffer from perfectionism too and have had to basically un-learn it).

You may feel like leaving and being given more responsibilities somewhere else will enhance your confidence, but the process of doing that, moving jobs, and potentially being unemployed for sometime, may work out worse for you. You may not like the people and you will need to re-establish relationships you have become familier with over a long period of adjustment from when you were initially looking for work. So I would urge you to take some time this weekend to think about how things might look in say 2-3 weeks, and evaluate how you feel at a later date. Perhaps speaking to a councillor if you can access one.

I did end up reducing my hours voluntarily and working from home for a long time until I left the company because I was not coping with anxiety, so that might help you feel better knowing that it's a not uncommon resolution from a managerial perspective. They do need you working at your best and happiest, even if it means having a different title or having more people above you. Sometimes that just isn't the most important thing in life, where you stand in that hierarchy - your health is.

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Qikz
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Qikz » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:36 pm

I'm not planning on leaving before finding another job, but I don't think I can trust them anymore.

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