GRcade

Thanks guys, I'm trying hard not to just deal with this by chucking tablets down my neck but I am finding that when it gets bad my decision making can become poor and I can make a situation dangerous. Driving and work are where this happens most. Alternatively, I end up fixating on something that happened hours, days, year ago and I guess it must be like a panic attack as I beat myself up over what could have happened.

Do you guys still get affected by things that happened years ago if something reminds you of it? Drives me mad getting wound up about situations that nothing bad actually happened.

Yuuuuuuuup. Some things will linger for a long time, and if they do flare up I think you should take that as a sign that it needs addressing. Everybody thinks about some things long after the fact, but if it still has an effect on you then it's likely a sign that you haven't properly moved on. It's not easy though, and the fact is some people will never get past some issues if they're that deeply rooted. But you can at least manage it, not let it have complete control over you.

When you find yourself getting wound up, don't try and ignore it and push it away. Really take the time to acknowledge it and work out why it still gets to you. It's not a guarantee that you will ever truly be rid of it, but at least you'll have a better understanding, and from there can work on how to minimise and combat it. Me personally, I'll always negatively compare myself to others. I honestly don't believe that I will be truly able to stop myself from doing it, but by being aware of that I can at least rationalise the thought process and minimise the damage. For example, seeing dudes that are either musical, artistic (in the sense of drawing/painting), peformative, just plain handsome or combinations of the above: What I tell myself is that those are all things I could pursue myself, but deep down I don't actually want to. I got into the gym a couple years ago and could have properly dedicated my time there to getting bigger, but instead my interest went towards yoga and dance. Perspective, taking the time to analyse why I feel that way and calm myself down in the process.

You'll likely never stop beating yourself up over things, but you don't have to be dominated by it.

Got a letter in the post today offering to electrocute my brain.

I mean, having checked out the website (if you're curious it's here) it seems like it's legit but strawberry floating hell, the idea of that just fills me with dread. Anyone tried anything like that at all?

Man I am totally down for mad gooseberry fool like that. My bad spells get increasingly more vicious and in those states I would be more than willing to have some crazy stuff done.

Yeah, I think it's just the hypochondria kicking in. I know it's safe but I'd be shit-scared of something going wrong, and if something goes wrong with your brain, well, you get the idea.

more heat than light wrote:Got a letter in the post today offering to electrocute my brain.

I mean, having checked out the website (if you're curious it's here) it seems like it's legit but strawberry floating hell, the idea of that just fills me with dread. Anyone tried anything like that at all?

That looks and sounds like snake oil - any medical "cure" which has to advertise through the post is looking to take your money first and foremost.

Trelliz wrote:

more heat than light wrote:Got a letter in the post today offering to electrocute my brain.

I mean, having checked out the website (if you're curious it's here) it seems like it's legit but strawberry floating hell, the idea of that just fills me with dread. Anyone tried anything like that at all?

That looks and sounds like snake oil - any medical "cure" which has to advertise through the post is looking to take your money first and foremost.

Sorry, I should have mentioned this was sent to me through my counselling group and would be funded by the NHS.

Trelliz wrote:

more heat than light wrote:Got a letter in the post today offering to electrocute my brain.

I mean, having checked out the website (if you're curious it's here) it seems like it's legit but strawberry floating hell, the idea of that just fills me with dread. Anyone tried anything like that at all?

That looks and sounds like snake oil - any medical "cure" which has to advertise through the post is looking to take your money first and foremost.

Electro therapy is a path well trodden.

Electroshock therapy can be helpful - transformative, even - in cases of depression that are incurable by other means. It is usually prescribed as a last resort though, so I would be worried about accessing the treatment through a path that doesn't directly involve your GP.

I've been on a bit of a downer for a few days now…I know exactly what started it though (something quite pathetic really, which perhaps compounds any negative feelings), and I know through past experience that it will pass in a few days and things will be 'okay' again. It's good being at the point where I can recognise that, but it doesn't lessen the impact it has. I can easily see how feelings of negativity (or worse) can - for some people - overtake and dominate their lives. All of the things like work and relationships just feel so unimportant, at least for me, and having to carry on with it all as though everything's fine is pretty difficult. I feel fortunate that I've found a way to manage/push-through phases like this, and that they do just seem to be phases (and they happen less frequently and for shorter periods of time than in the past). It's crushing though when life feels like something you just need to 'get through', and when you're in the middle of something like that and just can't see a way out.

Hello. I'm just checking in.

Re anxiety I had a go at my girlfriend because of a cable I imagined tripping down an breaking my neck at the bottom of the stairs and her finding me dead and crying. So yes, it amplifies stupid gooseberry fool.

I really recommend mindfulness /meditation eg headspace app.

I've been trying mindfulness at night and in the morning and it hasn't strawberry floating worked. I'm still constantly anxious just now and I still can't prioritise my thoughts properly.

How long have you been trying? It took me a few weeks before it kind of "took root" as it were.

Since the turn of the year.

Feel like utter gooseberry fool at the moment.

At the weekend my mrs took exception to something that I didn't even do (misread something I did and took it completely the wrong way) and proceeded to shout at me for nearly a solid hour. She also threw in some really hurtful gooseberry fool which was totally uncalled for and it just broke me. I had what I assume an emotional breakdown feels like because I was strawberry floating hysterical. I've never cried like that before, absolutely howling, I had no way of stopping it, just curled up screaming. I had some really dark thoughts that night where I was thinking of walking in to the field and slitting my throat. I dont know whats going on, maybe it's stuff about my parents bottled up (that's still relatively recent, especially with my dad) combined with the job stuff.

I dont know.

Probably just the work situation combined with the bird being a crazy bitch. No solution for it other than riding it out until the other side innit.

If thats taking too long then maybe speak to a doc.

Hopefully it's just the current situation.

Ad7 wrote:Feel like utter gooseberry fool at the moment.

At the weekend my mrs took exception to something that I didn't even do (misread something I did and took it completely the wrong way) and proceeded to shout at me for nearly a solid hour. She also threw in some really hurtful gooseberry fool which was totally uncalled for and it just broke me. I had what I assume an emotional breakdown feels like because I was strawberry floating hysterical. I've never cried like that before, absolutely howling, I had no way of stopping it, just curled up screaming. I had some really dark thoughts that night where I was thinking of walking in to the field and slitting my throat. I dont know whats going on, maybe it's stuff about my parents bottled up (that's still relatively recent, especially with my dad) combined with the job stuff.

I dont know.

Bloody hell mate. I'd imagine that, as you've hinted, it's just a cumulative effect of everything you've had going, everything happening at the moment, and what you've got coming up.

The wedding will also be stressful, especially with your work situation. It put quite a big strain on us, and the OH went on to have PND, too, which along with my depression made 2016 pretty shitty all round (aside from the birth of our child and the wedding, which was still great and worth it).

We're getting there now, and stuff is much better. I'm sure that your gf's actions, and your response, is just down to circumstances.

I hope you pull through mate, but if you feel that way often feel free to share here and you may want to consider something like low-cost counselling (students etc). We all lead stressful lives in different ways and there's no reason at all to suffer alone if you're feeling shitty.

If you have problems with the wife and can't face talking to her about them, then just for yourself it might be helpful to write down the stuff you felt was hurtful to get it out of your system, and internally, it's likely she regrets what she said if she loves you. When I have a fight with my partner, which is rare, humility goes a long way, and it's not hard to spur an apology from one another and make up, often within 24hrs. It's that resilience in a relationship and forgiveness, that goes a long way to a marriage holding out. Sometimes things just get too much and people lash out, and unfortunately you can be the subject of that frustration, just because you're the closest person and the person most likely to listen.

Green Gecko wrote:If you have problems with the wife and can't face talking to her about them, then just for yourself it might be helpful to write down the stuff you felt was hurtful to get it out of your system, and internally, it's likely she regrets what she said if she loves you.

My wife has been doing this (or something similar) as part of her treatment. I was sorting out my car paperwork last night before I sell it and some of her personal stuff was jumbled up in it. I'd read it before I knew what I was looking at (I basically speed read, or pretty close).

It was fairly devastating - it was describing a recent incident in which I had reacted badly to something she had said (which she had intended as a joke) and it described her spiral of painful thoughts that came from that.

I'm going to keep it in mind and make sure I'm less of a dick in future.