GRcade

If I want those things I just turn the smartphone on but each to their own.

Hey if it works for me it will work for someone else.

@Johnny: productivity apps definitely help a lot of people, & fwiw I think using one to disconnect for the sake of unplugging and reducing anxiety is a great idea.

It's not a bad idea at all, a great one, I do the same thing on desktop. Going cold turkey with distracting stuff is a thing to try too, because I found after a month or so, I just didn't feel I needed it anymore. I sometimes curse the fact I ever got broadband to be honest, 18 years ago.

It's also quite easy to climb down from parental management apps. I've tried so many.

I physically close my laptop regularly, just to do something, anything else when I feel anxious about being unproductive or scrolling or clicking aimlessly. Doing that often makes me feel worse, so I physically stop it. Sometimes it's extremely difficult. But those feelings are destructive, and it's better to just do some cleaning or whatever.

Maybe I need to be more extreme because I have all day, every day available to do this, and I can tell myself I'm "researching" on Instagram. Yeah, sure mate.

I don’t think I’m properly suffering mental health issues but current events will probably lead me to depression. I’ve mentioned before on these boards that my mum has lung cancer and she’s going to die. She doesn’t smoke, lives a very healthy lifestyle and is generally just a lovely person. She was very nearly able to retire when she got the news. She was massively looking forward to living out the rest of her days travelling. It’s been robbed from her. She’s done a lot better than anticipated. The doctors gave her a year but she’s still doing fairly well 18 months on.

However, she told me the other day when I paid her a visit at home that made me feel sick, furious. My dad is a drunk strawberry floating wank and he’s a massive liability. My mum had asked him to monitor his phone in case she calls. He was getting pissed with one of if arsehole friends and didn’t answer her calls. When she got home and asked him why he didn’t answer his stupid toadying friend stepped in and said he was checking the phone all the time and there were no calls. My mum disputed this and said sh called 5 times but my dad noticed there were only 3.

He took this opportunity not to apologise but to accuse her of being a liar, calling her a banana split at the same time. He then postured in an aggressive manner and pushed her. My mum has a fractured spine (something missed for ages by the doctors) but anyway, she is strawberry floating cancer-ridden and my dad basically abused her. Even if she wasn’t suffering from cancer I’d be sick.

Anyway, I currently live away from home but in a couple of weeks I’ll be moving back there. I really didn’t want to do it but circumstances dictate that I have to. Now that this has happened the prospect is even worse.

Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to get this off my chest. I’ve not told any of my friends in the interests of keeping the peace, at my mum’s request.

Thanks.

Jesus Christ. Sorry to hear that mate.

Corazon de Leon wrote:Jesus Christ. Sorry to hear that mate.

Thank you.

Well, I pushed my mum on the shoulder once when I was 18 because she was drunk, cornering and hollering at me about some unfathomable attitude problem because my family attacked me for making toast next to my brother sleeping in an armchair. Yeah figure that out. Alcoholism is a really shitty thing, you're watching its effects and feel like there's nothing you can do. Thankfully, things have changed in the last 10 years but it took a long time.

But a grown man, a husband, it's never OK, not like that. My father was also abusive. I'm sorry you feel you have to support your mum by living in but maybe it's for the best. Just don't forget about yourself.

Guys, I need help.

I've been on a bit of a spiral for a few months now and hit an all-time low at the weekend. Found myself reading the Samaritans' website in tears on Sunday. I've always tried to deal with my problems myself, but clearly need to speak to someone.

Is a GP the usual first step? I almost need someone to drive me there. Got a lump in my throat just thinking about making the call. Could do without blubbing at my doc.

strawberry float.

Poser wrote:Guys, I need help.

I've been on a bit of a spiral for a few months now and hit an all-time low at the weekend. Found myself reading the Samaritans' website in tears on Sunday. I've always tried to deal with my problems myself, but clearly need to speak to someone.

Is a GP the usual first step? I almost need someone to drive me there. Got a lump in my throat just thinking about making the call. Could do without blubbing at my doc.

strawberry float.

Get yourself to your GP man. There's never any shame in asking for help when you need it.

Poser wrote:Guys, I need help.

I've been on a bit of a spiral for a few months now and hit an all-time low at the weekend. Found myself reading the Samaritans' website in tears on Sunday. I've always tried to deal with my problems myself, but clearly need to speak to someone.

Is a GP the usual first step? I almost need someone to drive me there. Got a lump in my throat just thinking about making the call. Could do without blubbing at my doc.

strawberry float.

Speak to your doctor and get an app sorted ASAP or if you really need to contact lifeline or something and they can support/help you until you get an app with your doctor.

Poser wrote:Guys, I need help.

I've been on a bit of a spiral for a few months now and hit an all-time low at the weekend. Found myself reading the Samaritans' website in tears on Sunday. I've always tried to deal with my problems myself, but clearly need to speak to someone.

Is a GP the usual first step? I almost need someone to drive me there. Got a lump in my throat just thinking about making the call. Could do without blubbing at my doc.

strawberry float.

I have a lot of respect for you, it's not easy to admit to yourself and to us that you need to reach out and get some help. You've taken a huge step already. When you realise you're struggling it's common to feel overwhelmed, anxious, maybe even ashamed -- I certainly did. But there's absolutely nothing to be scared or ashamed of. Your next step is to call your doctors office, or a mental health helpline (who can help you get an appointment). You can do it.

Keep us updated, we're here for you.

Poser wrote:...I've been on a bit of a spiral for a few months now and hit an all-time low at the weekend...

Poser, man, I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling. I'd support the advice of the guys that have posted and say it would be worth booking an appointment to see your doctor. I see that as being a good first step towards seeking support for that situation.

...

Poser wrote:Is a GP the usual first step? I almost need someone to drive me there. Got a lump in my throat just thinking about making the call. Could do without blubbing at my doc.

I ended up being sent to my GP by my wife's therapist. I knew/thought I was depressed, but it felt selfish to think that- like it's just a pathetic excuse for being such a hopeless, useless human being. Of course you only think that because you're depressed. Depression is very good at protecting itself. It is a totally evil bastard.

Please go and see your doctor. You might not need medication, but personally speaking there's a good chance Citalopram saved my life.

Thanks for the posts everyone. It felt daft to need to get lots of people to tell me what I clearly already knew, but your input and support helped a lot.

I've got a GP appointment for Thursday afternoon, so will let you know how it goes.

Poser wrote:Thanks for the posts everyone. It felt daft to need to get lots of people to tell me what I clearly already knew, but your input and support helped a lot.

I've got a GP appointment for Thursday afternoon, so will let you know how it goes.

Booking that first appointment is a huge step. 'Congratulations' sounds inappropriately trite in the circumstances but still...well done.

GP is first port of call, don’t worry about manning up or putting a brave face on it. Be honest to yourself and to them and they can put you on the path to the treatment you want.

They have seen a thousand people cry before you, and there’s strawberry float all wrong with a tear if you need it.

Be well Scoobro

Saw GP last week. Just about managed to avoid crying, but it was close. Seeing him helped a little, as if I was taking control a bit.

I've decided to stick to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for the time being, and have just filled out the self-referral form this morning.

He said to give it a few weeks after the therapy started, and if I wasn't feeling different, to go back with a view to considering medication.

Hope you feel better soon. Do you know what the cause of this depression is or does depression just come and go without reason sometimes?

The latter.

I've found I can realise when I'm about to go down the hole for a few weeks or however long but given that I have absolutely no way of stopping this from happening it really doesn't help.