Life's given me a bit of an ass-kicking recently so excuse the need to vent/rambly post.
Firstly, I had the joy of being divorced at 33 last year. Marriage ended quite messily in 2022 (you have to wait twelve months to legally divorce), and I certainly don't want to be JKed so all I'll say about it here is that it was a stressful end to the relationship, and continues to be stressful from time to time even now.
Had to move three times in the interim due to being unable to afford rent, then from my mum's spare room, then due to the flat I was living in needing to be sold to pay the owner's assisted living costs. I scraped together the cash to buy a dilapated old house from a family member, which then cost a load of money to clean because the previous tenant had left it in an absolute disgrace of a state. I'm now struggling to afford the mortgage because...
I made the decision - stupid in hindsight - to leave a low-paying but stable role to pursue the thing I have several degrees in two years ago. Took on a short-term contract which was extended a little bit, then relatively abruptly ended. This is frustrating enough, though not wholly unexpected, but I've applied to 25+ jobs that I am sufficiently skilled enough and experienced enough for in anticipation of the end of the contract, and not had a sniff of an interview. The joys of an academic system that churns out PhDs without having enough jobs to support graduates - there are hundreds of people going for every role. Even more frustratingly, I was on a research trip abroad when I was told the contract was ending, which was quite stressful.
What's
even more frustrating is that I applied for another role with the same company and was rejected for an interview today. There is supposed to be a redeployment policy to guarantee interviews to suitable colleagues as long as they hit the required competencies, and I very much do, so something has gone wrong. There are currently a grand total of zero roles in the UK in my specialism, and very few administrative roles. I have minimal savings, because of the aforementioned house purchase.
My plan was to use my car to do deliveries or travel for work if I had to while I waited for the interview I was supposed to have, but sadly my mum managed to somehow
blow it up while I was in New Zealand. This has been incredibly frustrating, but the silver lining I suppose is that the payout was higher than expected and will give me an extra month before my pathetic savings run out.
I know in many respects I shouldn't complain - there have been high spots. I bought a house! My old department provided me with a bit of cash to go to archives in London, Canberra and Auckland last year and I've managed to find enough material to potentially write another book (that I won't be paid for). My nephew was born in late 2022 and he's amazing. I also have an interview for a scholarship that would be really important and really great and cool in February, but it's only for 4-6 months and I need to, you know, survive until it begins in Autumn. But in almost every other respect - career, relationships, finances, life has fallen apart a little bit since 2022.
Tl;dr, I'm jobless, broke, divorced, and my car is a burned-out wreck, and quite a bit of it seems to be my own fault.