Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Hopefully it's just the current situation.

Ad7 wrote:Feel like utter gooseberry fool at the moment.

At the weekend my mrs took exception to something that I didn't even do (misread something I did and took it completely the wrong way) and proceeded to shout at me for nearly a solid hour. She also threw in some really hurtful gooseberry fool which was totally uncalled for and it just broke me. I had what I assume an emotional breakdown feels like because I was strawberry floating hysterical. I've never cried like that before, absolutely howling, I had no way of stopping it, just curled up screaming. I had some really dark thoughts that night where I was thinking of walking in to the field and slitting my throat. I dont know whats going on, maybe it's stuff about my parents bottled up (that's still relatively recent, especially with my dad) combined with the job stuff.

I dont know.

Bloody hell mate. I'd imagine that, as you've hinted, it's just a cumulative effect of everything you've had going, everything happening at the moment, and what you've got coming up.

The wedding will also be stressful, especially with your work situation. It put quite a big strain on us, and the OH went on to have PND, too, which along with my depression made 2016 pretty shitty all round (aside from the birth of our child and the wedding, which was still great and worth it).

We're getting there now, and stuff is much better. I'm sure that your gf's actions, and your response, is just down to circumstances.

I hope you pull through mate, but if you feel that way often feel free to share here and you may want to consider something like low-cost counselling (students etc). We all lead stressful lives in different ways and there's no reason at all to suffer alone if you're feeling shitty.

If you have problems with the wife and can't face talking to her about them, then just for yourself it might be helpful to write down the stuff you felt was hurtful to get it out of your system, and internally, it's likely she regrets what she said if she loves you. When I have a fight with my partner, which is rare, humility goes a long way, and it's not hard to spur an apology from one another and make up, often within 24hrs. It's that resilience in a relationship and forgiveness, that goes a long way to a marriage holding out. Sometimes things just get too much and people lash out, and unfortunately you can be the subject of that frustration, just because you're the closest person and the person most likely to listen.

Green Gecko wrote:If you have problems with the wife and can't face talking to her about them, then just for yourself it might be helpful to write down the stuff you felt was hurtful to get it out of your system, and internally, it's likely she regrets what she said if she loves you.

My wife has been doing this (or something similar) as part of her treatment. I was sorting out my car paperwork last night before I sell it and some of her personal stuff was jumbled up in it. I'd read it before I knew what I was looking at (I basically speed read, or pretty close).

It was fairly devastating - it was describing a recent incident in which I had reacted badly to something she had said (which she had intended as a joke) and it described her spiral of painful thoughts that came from that.

I'm going to keep it in mind and make sure I'm less of a dick in future.

Ad7 wrote:Feel like utter gooseberry fool at the moment.

At the weekend my mrs took exception to something that I didn't even do (misread something I did and took it completely the wrong way) and proceeded to shout at me for nearly a solid hour. She also threw in some really hurtful gooseberry fool which was totally uncalled for and it just broke me. I had what I assume an emotional breakdown feels like because I was strawberry floating hysterical. I've never cried like that before, absolutely howling, I had no way of stopping it, just curled up screaming. I had some really dark thoughts that night where I was thinking of walking in to the field and slitting my throat. I dont know whats going on, maybe it's stuff about my parents bottled up (that's still relatively recent, especially with my dad) combined with the job stuff.

I dont know.

Are kids involved? If not, at that point, it's probably best to just walk away.

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Living up north!
Why does it feel depressing every time I'm leaving London after a short break there? Getting on the train at Euston just sucks...I always feel like staying in the great smoke. But after a week or two I adjust back to the quiet life.

My New Years resolution for 2017 is to move down to London. Just need to get a job there first!




Liverpool doesn't look that bad though but it just feels too small for me

Take a look at the waterfront developments going on over at skyscrapercity.com, it's a real up and coming city centre, I just wouldn't recommend the surrounding areas.

Poser wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:If you have problems with the wife and can't face talking to her about them, then just for yourself it might be helpful to write down the stuff you felt was hurtful to get it out of your system, and internally, it's likely she regrets what she said if she loves you.

My wife has been doing this (or something similar) as part of her treatment. I was sorting out my car paperwork last night before I sell it and some of her personal stuff was jumbled up in it. I'd read it before I knew what I was looking at (I basically speed read, or pretty close).

It was fairly devastating - it was describing a recent incident in which I had reacted badly to something she had said (which she had intended as a joke) and it described her spiral of painful thoughts that came from that.

I'm going to keep it in mind and make sure I'm less of a dick in future.

My girlfriend has anger issues and I have a predisposition to depression so any time either of us strawberry floats the other about we get it all out at least in a few texts the next day so we can think about it and talk about it at home. As a result anything that has popped up as an issue has been squashed and resolved happily - so far. Definitely helps to write it out as words are blunt and emotionless and therefore easy to decode and discuss.

Gently-Parted Ringpiece wrote:

Poser wrote:

Green Gecko wrote:If you have problems with the wife and can't face talking to her about them, then just for yourself it might be helpful to write down the stuff you felt was hurtful to get it out of your system, and internally, it's likely she regrets what she said if she loves you.

My wife has been doing this (or something similar) as part of her treatment. I was sorting out my car paperwork last night before I sell it and some of her personal stuff was jumbled up in it. I'd read it before I knew what I was looking at (I basically speed read, or pretty close).

It was fairly devastating - it was describing a recent incident in which I had reacted badly to something she had said (which she had intended as a joke) and it described her spiral of painful thoughts that came from that.

I'm going to keep it in mind and make sure I'm less of a dick in future.

My girlfriend has anger issues and I have a predisposition to depression so any time either of us strawberry floats the other about we get it all out at least in a few texts the next day so we can think about it and talk about it at home. As a result anything that has popped up as an issue has been squashed and resolved happily - so far. Definitely helps to write it out as words are blunt and emotionless and therefore easy to decode and discuss.

Sounds like a sensible approach. I think we're starting to get better; even before yesterday I'd been considerably less of an arse, but clearly hadn't managed to eradicate it entirely.

Communication is massively important, even if you do it in weird ways it's all good and better than nothing.

I once found my mother's letters to my dad when he left, it was horrible. I could actually see the tears on the page as her writing became unintelligible and just trailed off. I think it's when I found those over a decade later that I knew my mother really loved him even though he was a banana split and nobody deserves to suffer that kind of emotional pain (on top of that, my mother constantly suffers from physical pain because she was hit by a drunk driver in her 20s and now needs a new hip and knee. It takes a special kind of arsehole to leave somebody in that state).

I've done this many times over the years, sometimes I send them, sometimes I don't. But in the end I think they lead to better things; it is far, far worse to say nothing and destroy your inner self.

NickSCFC wrote:Take a look at the waterfront developments going on over at skyscrapercity.com, it's a real up and coming city centre, I just wouldn't recommend the surrounding areas.

Interesting! Thanks! Didn't realise there was going to be so many new developments.

FFS. Just found out the man involved here was extended family. (My sister-in-law's sister's partner).

There were pics of him on Facebook posing happily at a Christening on Sunday.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/nor ... h-11210994

Poser wrote:FFS. Just found out the man involved here was extended family. (My sister-in-law's sister's partner).

There were pics of him on Facebook posing happily at a Christening on Sunday.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/nor ... h-11210994

I don't want to seem like I'm poking holes in this story but was it maybe just a very similar incident to this one? That article's been up since last April.

Rocsteady wrote:

Poser wrote:FFS. Just found out the man involved here was extended family. (My sister-in-law's sister's partner).

There were pics of him on Facebook posing happily at a Christening on Sunday.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/nor ... h-11210994

I don't want to seem like I'm poking holes in this story but was it maybe just a very similar incident to this one? That article's been up since last April.

Yep, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. It was this one:

https://www.sun-fm.com/news/local/22728 ... underland/

Poser wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Poser wrote:FFS. Just found out the man involved here was extended family. (My sister-in-law's sister's partner).

There were pics of him on Facebook posing happily at a Christening on Sunday.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/nor ... h-11210994

I don't want to seem like I'm poking holes in this story but was it maybe just a very similar incident to this one? That article's been up since last April.

Yep, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. It was this one:

https://www.sun-fm.com/news/local/22728 ... underland/

Sorry to hear that though man, it's so difficult to tell when people are struggling mentally if they really want to hide it.

Rocsteady wrote:Sorry to hear that though man, it's so difficult to tell when people are struggling mentally if they really want to hide it.

On that latter point, it really makes me wonder how widespread it is. This guy seemed so chirpy.

It comes from nowhere sometimes. I can be having the time of my life, pure happiness to absolute pits of despair in minutes or hours. No triggers or warnings and it takes you.

One of things that scares me most is that whenever I feel well for any kind of "good" period I'm practically waiting for everything to go tits up. The only thing that consoles me is something I can identify with back when I was just 12 or 13, that I nearly always figure out some way forward, or something happens that is better than before, even if that "way forward" is just total failure and building things up again.

Edited.

Yeah, I can understand why you'd feel like that, mhtl. I agree that there is a big difference between "OMG! I dropped my lippy in my latte and now I'm so depressed!" and that sense of despair that can impact the core aspects of living.

But... younger folk, or those unfamiliar with the impacts of severe depression, are perhaps just applying some of the issues involved to their everyday affairs. Like anything, you only really know about something if you have experience of it. You can read about a subject and build up your knowledge but, until you experience it, you only have a partial understanding.

It's gotta be a good thing that people can generally be more open about mental health than in the past... even if a few folk then get a little confused about the severity of some of the impacts.