Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
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Photek
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Photek » Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:55 am

I don’t want to be a banana split but don’t book holidays to Tenerife, a weekend in Copenhagen and Prague would be far more beneficial. That’d said, strawberry float milestones or society’s expectation of them. Everyone is different, I love being a dad but you can be an awesome boyfriend/husband and do what you want. I’m in the vast VAST minority in which my child has been an absolute doddle to be a dad to but that’s me, and my wife, we’re odd like that, you and yours are odd like yourselves.

I need you to be a stubborn Sony fan dude, don’t let me down bro. :wub:

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Johnny Ryall
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Location: Box Elder, MO

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Sun Mar 11, 2018 6:47 am

I totally get the milestones thing. I'm turning 30 this year and I can count at least 10 people I know popping out babies this spring. Have to keep reminding myself that it would be cool shacking up with someone and having kids at some point but my penis will work for a while yet!

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Outrunner
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Outrunner » Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:46 pm

NickSCFC wrote:Just thought I'd put this out here as I'm not sure who to talk to or how to wrap my head around things.

Alot of it is regret, I had a late start in life, fairly miserable teenager which affected high school and college resulting in me being held back during my early 20s.

Mid 20s I decided to go to university and finally got my degree. Unfortunately I graduated during the height of the recession and, as with my early 20s, found myself stuck in menial jobs.

I've managed to solve career issues and I have a, comparitively, great job and great partner. However the depression hasn't gone away. I'm approaching my mid 30s and I feel that I've not lived. For all my achievements I can't get over the way I screwed up and wasted the best years of my life.

I'm very happy in my relationship but, as neither of us want children, I really struggle to get my head around what I should be doing with the second half of my life, like some anxious need to do/be something special, but I don't have he vision or confidence to even conceive it. I feel that when I lose my parents I'll have nothing left to live for and have had suicidal thoughts over the past 2 years.

I'm not an immediate risk, but I see myself committing seppuku or something before I reach 50.



My 30th was my big crunch time. I actually spent most of the day in bed crying because I hadn't achieved any of my goals. 10 years on and things are, for the most part better.

I've embraced the fact that I'm child-free. I never wanted kids, I know I'd be an awful dad. In confuses the hell out of most people but screw 'em. I can do what I want when I want it. The money that would have gone on kids? That's my holiday money.

I used to be focused on career development and why is was taking me so long to get anywhere, why wasn't I a manager etc. While I'm not particularly happy in work but I've given up on being a manager. Not because I don't think I could do it (I could easily be a manager in my current work place, and in some respects I am in all but name) but because I've decided I don't want the responsibility and political bullshit that management would bring. I'm not focusing on finding a job that I personally find rewarding. Either that are going back to university.

I feel like I've waffled on for quite a bit about myself but what I'm trying to get across (poorly) is please don't beat yourself up about not meeting goals or having not having some grand plan. I did that for years. I found my 30's were some of the best years of my life. You're in a great job, have a great partner and you're child-free. Now is the best time because you can afford to do stuff without kids holding you back. I hope I've not rambled too much and this came across as being (even slightly) helpful rather than patronising

Please do not post this in the "No Context" thread
NickSCFC

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by NickSCFC » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:26 am

Photek wrote:I don’t want to be a banana split but don’t book holidays to Tenerife, a weekend in Copenhagen and Prague would be far more beneficial.

I need you to be a stubborn Sony fan dude, don’t let me down bro. :wub:


Good stuff.

Though I don't know about northern/central Europe, I'm solar powered. Sun, palm trees and beaches seem to fix everything for me.

Also, I'll have you know I'm a Sega>Sony>Nintendo>Microsoft fan dude :datass:

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:04 pm

I'm 38, I remember the old get a degree, become a manager, get married thing people used to say you should do to be happy...

I got married finished my degree , got a job with manager in the title and had a child by the age of 20. Now my daughter is the greatest thing in the world but the marriage made me miserable and the job made me even more so.

I was held hostage and got beaten badly with crowbars, this eventually led to PTSD, my wife turned very abusive so I left and took my daughter with me fighting for and winning full custody. Since then I have made my own goals and ignored societies pre set goals and I'm much happier now... Think about who you are and what you want not because you've been told to want it but what you just naturally want and set your own goals to get this, for me it was to write my own novel and since then it's been various things, find your own things and go for it whatever they are that's my advice.

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Dblock
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AKA: Discovery

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Dblock » Tue Mar 13, 2018 5:33 pm

kerr9000 wrote:I'm 38, I remember the old get a degree, become a manager, get married thing people used to say you should do to be happy...

I got married finished my degree , got a job with manager in the title and had a child by the age of 20. Now my daughter is the greatest thing in the world but the marriage made me miserable and the job made me even more so.

I was held hostage and got beaten badly with crowbars, this eventually led to PTSD, my wife turned very abusive so I left and took my daughter with me fighting for and winning full custody. Since then I have made my own goals and ignored societies pre set goals and I'm much happier now... Think about who you are and what you want not because you've been told to want it but what you just naturally want and set your own goals to get this, for me it was to write my own novel and since then it's been various things, find your own things and go for it whatever they are that's my advice.


Yeah that is definitely what people that are well off would say, majority of us who are rooted to reality know we can't just go like '' gonna write a comic and be happy'' . Life kicks ass as much as it can , you just have to be able to take some ass whoopings better than others.

I don't even know what being anxious or stressed is, maybe I am, I don't know. I feel down some days, some days in pain for no obvious reason but that is life.

''Saying it's because I was controlling you and making you sad when actually I just asked you to wear some trousers'' :lol: :lol:
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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:41 pm

I'm not well off, I'm pretty skint, I work part time due to ill health with pip topping me up enough to get by. I have serious headaches every day, I have petit Mal seizures every day... I just don't think a career is everyone's path to happiness.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Mar 14, 2018 3:40 am

I honestly think for some people the idea of getting help is unthinkable and so there is only do this job and be strawberry floating miserable (and then get fired for no fault of your own eventually), the idea of making major life changes and hitting rock bottom is terrifying so being unhappy is a compromise.

Well strawberry float that honestly. If I did that I know I'd end up dead, completely insane and/or anorexic. I don't really get this idea that relentless unhappiness and toeing the line because "it's the way it is" is a valid outlook, it seems almost cowardly in my opinion. I'm almost thankful I know how it feels to be deeply unhappy so I can avoid those scenarios however possible. Normality and pride, fulfilling others expectations etc can do one.

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
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Tsunade
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Tsunade » Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:52 am

Some people just don't try to understand or want to help with mental illnesses. When I told someone I knew that I'd been diagnosed with anxiety (took me a while to work up the courage to talk to my doctor), their response was "well you seem fine around people" then just didn't let me bring it up again.

I have had my ups and downs with anxiety for a while, I have a physical condition that causes me concern (primary lymphedema of the left leg, constant swelling due to missing lymph nodes), I've been hospitalised 3 times with it, and I think it's what's at least started my anxiety off. My leg is much MUCH better at the moment to what it was due to some different treatment I had so at the moment this isn't causing me to be anxious.

Lately my anxiety been worse, me and my daughter moved into a council flat last June. Every time I think everything is fine, something goes wrong. After we first moved in, we find a form saying that they recommended to remove some tiles but hadn't. I mean that's nothing. Then a month in the hot water tank went. No hot water for 3 weeks, as the shower also broke. This winter I've had mould and damp. The council say I need new heaters (I have storage ones, they're terrible) and it's only condensation (the mould days otherwise and so do the wet walls) but I haven't heard back since. I decide to strip the wallpaper in my room to clean the walls down from the mould, and I find a square hole full of wires and loo roll, and the curtain rail comes down on me, which was attached to some wood that had been nailed above the window (not by me) the wood came down with it. I'm scared to go in there again, I don't know what else could go wrong. I'm sleeping in the living room.

My partner, as helpful as he is, doesn't seem to get why I get so anxious. Mind I don't get it myself sometimes, sometimes I'm absolutely fine, other times I'm as anxious as hell over little stuff that can be sorted out quickly.

I feel like everything is going to go wrong, I had a course of CBT and l'm waiting for some 1 on 1 councilling. CBT didn't help me much but I did think it does help others quite a bit. I was in a group session, I'd rather have had 1 on 1, I think it would have been easier for me to digest that way.

Ludo is gooseberry fool!
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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:35 pm

Man that's awful.. mouldy and poorly upkept dwellings do little to help things. We recently moved out of somewhere that had mould and a freezing bathroom with a leaking ceiling but it wasn't that bad. Finally found somewhere decent again and can just barely cover the rent with benefits and about 10% help from both our families and what we earn together.

But sure if you're poor it's your fault and if you have a mental illness it's not really a problem because you seem fine. All that psychology hubbub is just made up problems for weak people. It's sad that anyone has to deal with this attitude at all, but there is help available although it's not exactly easy to access.

I've definitely made a difference focusing on quality of life improvements above everything else and I no longer care how or at what expense to myself or others I achieve that, except those close to me. I don't care what friends I never see anymore think, or abusive family members, or the council clerk or that jerk acquaintance I'll never see again or someone on Facebook or the rude postman etc etc. Being selfless and conscientious achieves nothing if you are clinically depressed or anxious. There really are a lot of values established in society that seem driven to make people ill by essentially judging and comparing to others forever instead of being happy with who we are.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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Location: UK

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Fri Mar 16, 2018 12:50 pm

This thread really does put a new perspective to what I think of life.

I have read some posts above regarding people reaching 30 and reflecting on their achievements. I turned 30 last year and will be 31 next month. My current goal is to get on the property ladder but for some reason I've been putting it off even though I have had a stable full time job for the past 4/5 years...literally have hardly any savings lol

NickSCFC

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by NickSCFC » Tue Mar 20, 2018 2:49 pm

One thing I noticed that when I was depressed I'd always try to escape into something like a boxset or videogames, they're great at taking you out of yourself, the problem is that in the long run they solve nothing and you can look back at a week or a month lost where you feel that, because of this, you've achieved nothing at all and the cycle repeats.

One great solution I've found is listening to self-help books on Audible, so when I'm bingeing on PES, I'm also learning at the same time :)

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Johnny Ryall
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Location: Box Elder, MO

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Johnny Ryall » Tue Mar 20, 2018 5:47 pm

Yeah I've totally seen myself getting pissed off with work, booking a week off, losing it to something like the Witcher and then being even more depressed on the day before going back. I try and give myself a project for any staycations now even if it's just clearing out the shed.

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Preezy
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Preezy » Wed Mar 21, 2018 11:56 am

Tidying up the garage, mowing the lawn and generally tending my property (I love to weed) is super relaxing for me. It's almost like a form of meditation. It's probably because I'm outside and being active and I can have my headphones in and block out the world. Love it.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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Location: UK

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:49 pm

Got the shingles at the moment. Not sure if this was due to stress but its not that bad. Feels a lot less worse than chicken pox was when I was a kid.

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Ironhide
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Ironhide » Thu Mar 29, 2018 7:01 pm

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Got the shingles at the moment. Not sure if this was due to stress but its not that bad. Feels a lot less worse than chicken pox was when I was a kid.


Just wait for the eye pain to start before making any comparisons with chicken pox.

I had it last month and still have minor symptoms.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Thu Mar 29, 2018 7:23 pm

Ironhide wrote:
No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Got the shingles at the moment. Not sure if this was due to stress but its not that bad. Feels a lot less worse than chicken pox was when I was a kid.


Just wait for the eye pain to start before making any comparisons with chicken pox.

I had it last month and still have minor symptoms.

How old are you? Did you get any medication for it? I was surprised to get it after hearing it was an old people thing. Anyway just unlucky I guess. My doctor said I managed to catch it early so he has put me on Aciclovir 800mg which I have to take 5 times a day for 7 days.

Mines currently localised to my back and left side of my chest. The spots do hurt a bit. Feels like a sharp stinging pain every now and again. But I am taking painkillers throughout the day. I really hope it doesn't spread anywhere further, especially not my face because the eye pain sounds terrible.

Apparently it takes 3-5 weeks to go away so if you had it last month, I hope all your symptoms going away asap.

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Ironhide
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Location: Autobot City

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Ironhide » Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:47 pm

No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:
Ironhide wrote:
No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Got the shingles at the moment. Not sure if this was due to stress but its not that bad. Feels a lot less worse than chicken pox was when I was a kid.


Just wait for the eye pain to start before making any comparisons with chicken pox.

I had it last month and still have minor symptoms.

How old are you? Did you get any medication for it? I was surprised to get it after hearing it was an old people thing. Anyway just unlucky I guess. My doctor said I managed to catch it early so he has put me on Aciclovir 800mg which I have to take 5 times a day for 7 days.

Mines currently localised to my back and left side of my chest. The spots do hurt a bit. Feels like a sharp stinging pain every now and again. But I am taking painkillers throughout the day. I really hope it doesn't spread anywhere further, especially not my face because the eye pain sounds terrible.

Apparently it takes 3-5 weeks to go away so if you had it last month, I hope all your symptoms going away asap.


I'm 36 so it's definitely not just old people who have crap immune systems who get it.

I got a some aciclovir for it too as I had it around my eye and my GP was concerned it would damage my eyesight.

Most symptoms have gone now apart from two spots.

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No:1 Final Fantasy Fan
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Location: UK

PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by No:1 Final Fantasy Fan » Fri Mar 30, 2018 11:05 am

Ironhide wrote:
No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:
Ironhide wrote:
No:1 Final Fantasy Fan wrote:Got the shingles at the moment. Not sure if this was due to stress but its not that bad. Feels a lot less worse than chicken pox was when I was a kid.


Just wait for the eye pain to start before making any comparisons with chicken pox.

I had it last month and still have minor symptoms.

How old are you? Did you get any medication for it? I was surprised to get it after hearing it was an old people thing. Anyway just unlucky I guess. My doctor said I managed to catch it early so he has put me on Aciclovir 800mg which I have to take 5 times a day for 7 days.

Mines currently localised to my back and left side of my chest. The spots do hurt a bit. Feels like a sharp stinging pain every now and again. But I am taking painkillers throughout the day. I really hope it doesn't spread anywhere further, especially not my face because the eye pain sounds terrible.

Apparently it takes 3-5 weeks to go away so if you had it last month, I hope all your symptoms going away asap.


I'm 36 so it's definitely not just old people who have crap immune systems who get it.

I got a some aciclovir for it too as I had it around my eye and my GP was concerned it would damage my eyesight.

Most symptoms have gone now apart from two spots.

Good to hear that you're alright now. I have also been taking effervescent tablets vitamin C 1000mg and vitamin B12 1200%. Heard that these vitamins help fight of the virus well especially B12.

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False
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:15 pm

Feel like Im having a really tough day today. I cant think of any particular trigger for it. Just supremely down and tired for the first time in a while. You get used to the odd feeling overtaking you but its been a full ride today so far. Got lots to be happy about.

I have just been listening to some of my favourite tunes v loud on my headphones whilst the gf catches up on some sleep and its making me feel a bit funny. One of the sets has this mix that I really like and I nearly strawberry floating cried, proper fragile.

Supposed to be meeting some friends tonight at a party in a sex club and they are usually funny but trying to summon the will to even go to the toilet is pretty energy intensive right now.

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