Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions

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That
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by That » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:03 pm

False wrote:Feel like Im having a really tough day today. I cant think of any particular trigger for it. Just supremely down and tired for the first time in a while. You get used to the odd feeling overtaking you but its been a full ride today so far. Got lots to be happy about.

I have just been listening to some of my favourite tunes v loud on my headphones whilst the gf catches up on some sleep and its making me feel a bit funny. One of the sets has this mix that I really like and I nearly strawberry floating cried, proper fragile.

Supposed to be meeting some friends tonight at a party in a sex club and they are usually funny but trying to summon the will to even go to the toilet is pretty energy intensive right now.

Take care of yourself mate. If you think you'll feel better at the party then have a go, but if you think you're forcing it then get some rest instead.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Sun Apr 08, 2018 5:11 pm

Aye went out and it was crap.

Walked over a mountain today though and had a mind blowing veggie burger so its not all bad.

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Victor Mildew » Sun Apr 08, 2018 5:37 pm

Apologies if this doesn't belong in here due to how serious a lot of your problems are, but I feel this needs more than the moaning thread.

Ive just discovered, via Facebook, that one of my best friends got married this weekend. I had no idea he was even engaged.

Now we're getting on a bit so it's not like the Inbetweeners where we live in each other's pockets, but we keep in semi regular touch and I'm really hurt that I wasn't told. I only live an hour and a half away and would love to have gone along.

It's really hurtful and I feel like gooseberry fool because of it. Starting to wonder how many of the people I consider close friends even consider me a friend these days, I hardly see anyone unless we make the effort.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Curls » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:00 am

Ad7 wrote:Apologies if this doesn't belong in here due to how serious a lot of your problems are, but I feel this needs more than the moaning thread.

Ive just discovered, via Facebook, that one of my best friends got married this weekend. I had no idea he was even engaged.

Now we're getting on a bit so it's not like the Inbetweeners where we live in each other's pockets, but we keep in semi regular touch and I'm really hurt that I wasn't told. I only live an hour and a half away and would love to have gone along.

It's really hurtful and I feel like gooseberry fool because of it. Starting to wonder how many of the people I consider close friends even consider me a friend these days, I hardly see anyone unless we make the effort.



That's gooseberry fool. Always feel free to post you're problems, no matter how trivial they seem compared to others. If its griping you and it makes you feel better to post it here, then just strawberry floating do it.

That sounds pretty harsh, I know how I'd feel if some of my closer friends left me out of something like that.
I was actually thinking recently about my old best friend, and how distant we've become, I've moved away for a career and new life, new friends the rest. And now he has started to too, when we meet up our conversation is about the past rather than the present or the future, its reminiscing, it's playing timesplitters 2 together as that's what we did as teens.

And I was thinking...still to this day, he'd very much expect me to make him best man if i were to get married....and maybe I'd expect him too to? But im not sure anymore if I would, I think I've made closer friends as an adult who understand me more, have helped me through harder situations, and who I generally like more. But I know deep down, that this childhood friend of mine, if he didnt play a very important part in a big event of my life. It'd absolutely crush him.

Time moves and people change and grow apart, and its only the real people you care about you'll make the effort for. So if you care about this friend, try not to be angry or bitter and just try to reach out to him. Make that effort and that time, he may have just got married, but that often isolates you from friends a bit. He'll probably still appreciate the friendship, even if he has hurt you, its probably not malicious and he'll enjoy seeing an old friend.

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kerr9000
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Tue Apr 10, 2018 5:43 am

The childhood friends getting married and not inviting you thing is tricky, it's happened to me a lot of times... There were about 7 of us who did almost everything together, a year ago one of these lads got married and I didn't even know till after, I thought oh well till I found out of the 7 well 5 of the group were there so basically just me and one other lad got left out and that rammed it home and made it hurt more, only difference I know of between those invited and those not is that the 5 there all messed up there A levels by constantly smoking pot, I didn't as I went to college and tried hard and the other lad became an electricians apprentice, now days though we're all in similar situations etc.Things like this can make you very low as not only does it feel like your being excluded but it makes you wonder if your remembering things right, why your botherd about them if there not about you etc

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Tue Apr 10, 2018 2:37 pm

I was in the opposite situation. Two of my childhood friends simply didn't turn up on my wedding day as they forgot. We only see each other about once a year and aren't as close as we used to be, but I still class them as good friends.

It isn't something I hold against them though. They have apologised and made it clear that they feel suitably bad enough about it, so I've forgiven them.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lotus » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:02 pm

Drumstick wrote:I was in the opposite situation. Two of my childhood friends simply didn't turn up on my wedding day as they forgot. We only see each other about once a year and aren't as close as we used to be, but I still class them as good friends.

It isn't something I hold against them though. They have apologised and made it clear that they feel suitably bad enough about it, so I've forgiven them.

Wat. Did you send them proper invites and such? How do you 'forget' a wedding you've been invited to?

Anyway, a friend of mine got married last year (he was about 30 then I think). I've been friends with him since we were about 13, and I've known his wife since they got together (when they were about 14 or 15). Because of some 'issues' at the time of them getting together, I was the only one in our friendship group who supported them being together and defended them. And while I moved away to go to university and such we kept in touch (but always through me making the effort) and I made some pretty big efforts on occasion to go and see him/support him when he was suffering with various personal problems. The engagement and the wedding I only found out about on Facebook, after they'd happened. Granted I hadn't seen them for a good while, but still...you'd think one of your oldest friends and someone who's supported you over the years would at least get told about these things...right?

I mean, I actually hate weddings, and not being invited got me out of going, but still. It's the principle. :slol:

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Drumstick » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:13 pm

Lotus wrote:
Drumstick wrote:I was in the opposite situation. Two of my childhood friends simply didn't turn up on my wedding day as they forgot. We only see each other about once a year and aren't as close as we used to be, but I still class them as good friends.

It isn't something I hold against them though. They have apologised and made it clear that they feel suitably bad enough about it, so I've forgiven them.

Wat. Did you send them proper invites and such? How do you 'forget' a wedding you've been invited to?

Yes, proper invites. They've been the same disorganised messes since we were 12.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by False » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:22 pm

Im used to it. I always had friends but I was on the fringes of most social groups. Tended to be forgotten or left out, especially as Im not the kind of person who was willing to ask or speak out about attending or going to things.

To be honest Im probably happier with my social situation now. Few good friends, decent work mates, making good connections in certain 'scenes' - but most people at a comfortable arms length so I dont have to bother when I want to be alone.

Is it possible Ad that your friend didnt think it would be 'your thing'? I know you play the grump but did you ever issue a long diatribe about weddings or the culture or marriage or something? Maybe your friend thought they were sparing you. Im a famously miserable arsehole so this has happened to me a few times.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Lotus » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:42 pm

Drumstick wrote:
Lotus wrote:
Drumstick wrote:I was in the opposite situation. Two of my childhood friends simply didn't turn up on my wedding day as they forgot. We only see each other about once a year and aren't as close as we used to be, but I still class them as good friends.

It isn't something I hold against them though. They have apologised and made it clear that they feel suitably bad enough about it, so I've forgiven them.

Wat. Did you send them proper invites and such? How do you 'forget' a wedding you've been invited to?

Yes, proper invites. They've been the same disorganised messes since we were 12.

Crazy. I get some people are disorganised, but that's pretty severe.

And I kind of missed the main point off my post. :fp: The lack of letting me know/inviting me was kinda the final straw (that sounds like more of a big deal than it is, I'm not really that bothered) about making an effort and trying to maintain the friendship. If he wants to catch up in the future, sure, but I'm done going out of my way to keep in touch.

Some people just don't have the same mindset about friendship in general, but yes when you realise that somebody doesn't value a friendship the same as you do, it can be pretty crushing I guess. Especially as we get older though, and people get caught up with marriage and kids and such, they tend to forget/neglect their friends I find. Shame, but it's a way (admittedly a harsh one) of finding out who actually cares about you.

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Victor Mildew
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Victor Mildew » Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:32 pm

Thanks everyone, 'nice to know it's not just me that gets things like this, not that I wish it on anyone else.

False wrote:Is it possible Ad that your friend didnt think it would be 'your thing'? I know you play the grump but did you ever issue a long diatribe about weddings or the culture or marriage or something? Maybe your friend thought they were sparing you. Im a famously miserable arsehole so this has happened to me a few times.


No chance - he was invited to our wedding (abroad though so didn't come which is totally fine). He knows how much I wanted to get married and I told him how gutted I was he couldn't come. So yeah there's no way he doesn't think its my thing, we'd have been there in a heartbeat.

Off the back of this I phoned another close friend who I hadn't actually spoken on the phone to in just under a year (thanks text messaging). Was really nice to catch up and we're going to make an effort to all meet up somewhere soon.

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Denster
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Denster » Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:38 pm

It's pretty gooseberry fool to not even think of you. maybe wait a little while and ask about it. Not in a confrontational way but just a hey, how's it going?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:47 am

Ah yes the meeting up "soon"

I've been to about a wedding per year recently all uni friends.

I only know one school friend who got married, in russia. There's probably some I don't know about.

But my brother got married with no ceremony and told us afterward. So meh.

I think ever since going to my fathers wedding they've been not such a big deal as clearly don't always work. That was a strange experience. I was only 16 and got so drunk I almost died. I literally passed out locked in a portaloo and nobody found me until I woke up hours later. Imagine if I choked on my own vomit while my father concecrated his second marriage. I was pretty depressed back then but didn't understand it. No one did.

I always turn up to weddings though. Free food.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Squinty » Wed Apr 11, 2018 7:44 am

Gecko gets it. That free food.

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OrangeRKN
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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by OrangeRKN » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:32 am

I think you're supposed to buy a gift equal to the cost of the food...

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Kezzer » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:45 am

No, you just write your name on the tag of someone elses gift.

This post is exempt from the No Context Thread.

Tomous wrote:Tell him to take his fake reality out of your virtual reality and strawberry float off


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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Green Gecko » Wed Apr 11, 2018 10:45 am

But I have no money. And it often costs a lot of money to get there.

Last time I got a note in the post saying "thank you for your gift", but I didn't give them anything. :lol:

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:36 am

Well I guess this as good a place as any to reach out.

After a series of events at home, (once again relating to the wife undermining me in front of our children when one of them has been naughty as they were Sunday morning), I've been having a right horrid time of it. All day Sunday I felt incredibly low and now, moving into Monday, I can't sleep. Usually it passes by now, regardless of the trigger, but not this time. Can't seem to shake it.

No, not feeling very good at all and the more it goes on the more difficult I'm finding it to pull myself back, (as I normally would). Dreading work tomorrow.

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by kerr9000 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:37 am

My X wife became a bigger and bigger bitch till she assaulted me, I left with my daughter and battled in the court for full custody, call me jaded but I'd make notes of what she says and does and how it makes you feel just in case you ever need it. Plus getting it out your brain and into writing somewere might help you process it and then help lift you a little.

I don't know your wife but depending on what she's like a calm word about how down she's making you might help maybe?

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PostRe: Depression, Anxiety, or other Mental Health Conditions
by Gemini73 » Mon Apr 16, 2018 9:33 am

Well, how I feel has had to take a back seat due to our youngest being up half the night with sickness and diarrhea. Life is never simple is it. :lol:

On the plus side care for my daughter has allowed me to snap out of it, or at the least suppress my anxiety somewhat. That said, outside of looking after our daughter I'm not engaging with the wife currently and have decided to sleep on the sofa in the games room. Think I must have had some kind of mental break yesterday as said games room is completely stripped back. Gadgets, collectables, mine and the children's drawings and paintings taken down, the lot, all packed up and boxed away. Aside from the PC and a couple of consoles it now looks more like a store room than a place to relax and chill. I clearly remember doing it, but it seemed strangely surreal to me this morning.

As for the wife, 'bitch' isn't a word I'd use to describe her, far from it. She is a wonderful mother and is very well liked both at work and on a social level. However, beyond our children and the "family life" (which is often pleasant) the wife and I no longer have anything in common. As a couple were living two separate lives. I've just become a bit of a fifth wheel around here and have been for a while. Not entirely sure what my role is, as far as she is concerned, if I'm honest.

This all sounds like something more suitable for the relationship thread, but the point being is I've always been an anxious person for as long as I can remember but events in the last 24 hours have magnified my anxiety and put me in 'down mode', so to speak. Defensive barriers are up and save for my children no one is getting in.

Anyway, time to put on the false smile and head into work. :slol:


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