About 3 years ago, after only going out with the GF for about 6 months, her dad (The 6foot 4, 20 stone, ex rugby player judge) invited me to a VP Rugby Dinner where he's Vice president at.
Apparently it's quite a big thing...only blokes, no girls, and it raises money for the club.
Anyway, I was told it was smart casual, and to be there for 1.
So I turned up about 30 mins late (bad traffic) in my smartest Jeans and Shirt combo, to be greeted by a room full of about 200 people all in Dinner Jackets and tie's (apparently smart casual to old people is what you would wear at a funeral)
I eventually find my way to my table where the Judge (Keith) is not looking happy, and he thanks me for making such an effort with my clothes and timing. To make matters worse, he's invited 4 friends with him (all judges)
As soon as I had sat down one of them turned to me and said "So you're the one strawberry floating Keiths daughter?"
At this point I decided alcohol was the only way to make it through the day, unfortunately they only sold Stella on Tap.
2 hours and 6 pints later and everything's fine again, were all pretty hammered and taking the piss out of each other and my relationship with my future Father in Law is blossoming.
4 hours and 3 pints later and my memory is a little sketchy..I think there was a rugby game, and I remember wrestling the Judge (I'm 5'10 12 Stone).
5 hours and unknown pints later I don't remember anything, but apparently what happened is as follows.
Katie and her mum arrive, after a lovely relaxing day at the health spa to be greeted by the sight of the judge Bear Hugging me (my feet were off the floor)
We all remained for another hour until the women decided to get their respective men home.
Upon leaving the club, I pissed against the club house, in front of the mum, and then on the way to the car I fell flat on my face breaking my nose (Mum not impressed, Judge thought it was hilarious)
When safely in the car, I demanded I be taken to Mc Donalds. Katie told me I was in no fit state but apparently I was having none of it. We eventually get to the Maccy D drive through, at which point I apologise to Katie, open her car door, puke and then just run off through the car park.
Katie spent 2 hours looking for me but eventually gave up and went home. I turned up 3 hours later, munching a kebab.
I then proceed to pass out with my head under the sofa and remain there for the next 12 hours asleep.
THE END.