[GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]

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A.I.
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Post[GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by A.I. » Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:45 pm

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Anonymous wrote:Who is more beautiful: Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie or Iwata?

Now I don't really follow gaming or gaming news that much, although I have recently joined in with the E3 stream-a-thons that occur every year. Did I say recently? I meant for the last four years. Why do I watch it? Because I want to make love to Shigsy, Reggie and Iwata, all at the same time.

"Greedy bastard", you say? "Take one and leave the other two for similarly inclined folk", you say? Okay then, but first I need to find out which one I want to slip my monolithic friction whistle into the most.

So Shigsy's got that all-Japanese look about him. He just makes me want to snuggle him up and kiss him until he plays Wii Tennis with my balls. When I was a young lad, I thought he was Nintendo; I imagined him to be some kind of machine-man who fired Mario games out of his rectum every Christmas. This makes him special to me; you could say I think of him as a dreamboat.

Reggie. Big, bad Reggie. This guy's got a look that says he'll throw you through your bedroom window and run upstairs to ravage you up against your wardrobe before you realise he's opened the car door. He's so manly, and I think this is what really attracts me to him; you just know that he'd slap you around and make you feel like a real man. He's go that chiselled jaw and those strong hands that can turn my legs to jelly.

Finally, we turn to the cutie teddy bear Iwata. I'd let him confirm me all night long, with his puppy dog eyes and his soft voice. If you're in it for the long-run and you don't want action, I'd say Iwata is your man. Unfortunately, it can be hard to understand what he's saying, so depending on how much you value conversation in a relationship, this could be a deal-breaker.

As a conclusion, it is clear that Shigeru Miyamoto would be my ideal Nintendo-man. He's the guy who'll make you believe anything he tells you, just because you know that at any moment he could pull out a baton and conduct an orchestra of monkeys, creatures with fungi growing off their heads and fat Italian plumbers.


All comments and feedback welcome. Thank you.

Last edited by A.I. on Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Captain Kinopio
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by Captain Kinopio » Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:52 am

I felt the analysis was a little weak.

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PuppetBoy
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by PuppetBoy » Sun Sep 07, 2008 1:36 am

I'd let him confirm me all night long


I think with that you've just earned yourself a vote.

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Pilch
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by Pilch » Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:00 am

I hate to spoil the fun but I think obvious joke entries like this should be disqualified. This is a writing competition, not a comedy competition. This'll unfairly draw votes away from the serious entries and I think that'd be a shame, not to mention annoying for those people that have put a lot of effort into their articles.

Having said that, this is bloody funny. *Thumbs*

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Kinetic
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by Kinetic » Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:38 am

I hope Reggie doesn't see this, it'd break the poor li'l scamp's heart.

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Hero of Canton
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by Hero of Canton » Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:41 pm

Yeah, it's quite amusing. Just a bit of throwaway daftness.

That said, I hope this doesn't get one of my votes, because I'd like to see more entries that offer something more insightful and interesting. Comedy pieces are all well and good, but this isn't as funny as RogueLeader's (now disqualified) entry and it doesn't offer much more than a quick titter.

Well done, though. I smiled a few times, and it's pretty well-written.

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Eighthours
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by Eighthours » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:33 pm

Enjoyable stuff, with some good lines (the "confirms" gag was bloody superb). A bit throwaway (I realise that was the likely intention) for a vote in a writing comp, though.

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A.I.
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PostRe: [GRWC8] Who is more beautiful... [Article]
by A.I. » Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:03 pm

Edited on request of author.


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