How do I tell my girlfriend I don't want a child?

I was thinking of using a circular saw blade, from bottom to top if you know what I mean.

Kick the gooseberry fool out of her.

An ovary uppercut does seem ideal.

Cigars, champagne and a cricket bat

strawberry float her sister, she'll soon forget about having kids with you.

Failing that find a metal coathanger.

A solid, well aimed punch to the womb always does the trick I find. Simple yet effective.

This isn't going to end well, so I'll just save everyone the trouble.

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