I just found a knife in my kebab and chips.

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Tonight, I thought I would like to order a nice takeaway chippy, perhaps even a chicken kebab and chips, drizzled in a hot chilli sauce, and with those battered chips that they only do on Sundays, the ones that scream "I am the orangest thing this side of the M6, and I've come to murder your arteries".

I opened the takeaway box, wafted my gaze over my forthcoming meal, when something gazed back at me. Something metal.

This is not something you want to see staring back at you from a chicken donner.

For those who do not want to see the horror of a partly-eaten, sauce-soaked, chip-flecked mess that is my filthy choice of kebab, I ask you to look away.

This thing is sharp, steel, and is threatening to have my eye out if I don't give it all I've got in my wallet.

My question is, who do I contact first, Environmental Health, the Food Standards Agency, the Media? Nah, let's show GRcade first.

I'm dead serious; this thing could have put me in casualty.

What's the worst takeaway you've ever had?

Jeezus, i've had some iffy meals over the years, but i've never found anything as lethal as that! :shock:

Probably better for you than the kebab

You have reported this too though right?

I once bought a bottle of water and discovered it had live freshwater shrimp swimming in it.

I found a load of broken glass in a meal in restaurant before but that’s about it.

Fitting in very well with the 'Quick, to GRcade!' meme in full working order! Congratulations, and sorry about your kebab.

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Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Fitting in very well with the 'Quick, to GRcade!' meme in full working order!

It seemed like the right thing to do.

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:sorry about your kebab.

This is the real casualty here. I was looking forward to that kebab.

Ironhide wrote:I once bought a bottle of water and discovered it had live freshwater shrimp swimming in it.

That's quite frightening. One has to question these things. How the bloody strawberry float did that happen?

Return_of_the_STAR wrote:I found a load of broken glass in a meal in restaurant before but that’s about it.

That's, uh. Wow. Was the manager sorry it happened?

It looks tastier than the kebab its hiding in.

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Dual wrote:It looks tastier than the kebab its hiding in.

I like my kebab and chips like I like my women; filthy, covered in chilli sauce, and deep fried in batter.

once had a battered sausage

to my dismay, turns out batter has milk/cream in

to my roommates dismay, turns out i'm lactose intolerant

Does it taste like kebab?

I once cracked an egg into a frying pan and a little bird fell out. Had to take the poor little banana split outside and whack it with a shovel.

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False wrote:Does it taste like kebab?

It tastes like when I furiously floss right before a dentist appointment in an attempt to seem passably hygienic, only with more physical than emotional pain.

I once had sweet & sour and wasp in a Chinese restaurant.

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Blue Eyes wrote:I once cracked an egg into a frying pan and a little bird fell out. Had to take the poor little banana split outside and whack it with a shovel.

Evil Ted wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Fitting in very well with the 'Quick, to GRcade!' meme in full working order!

It seemed like the right thing to do.

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:sorry about your kebab.

This is the real casualty here. I was looking forward to that kebab.

Ironhide wrote:I once bought a bottle of water and discovered it had live freshwater shrimp swimming in it.

That's quite frightening. One has to question these things. How the bloody strawberry float did that happen?

Return_of_the_STAR wrote:I found a load of broken glass in a meal in restaurant before but that’s about it.

That's, uh. Wow. Was the manager sorry it happened?

Yeah they gave me my meal for free and swapped it for a new one. I can only assume that something had been broken in the kitchen and glass went everywhere as they didn’t seem shocked by it. I couldn’t help but feel like I was lying to them though even though I wasn’t :lol:

it just felt like I was trying to con them. I think it’s because I had been in a Pizza Hut only a few weeks before and a group of travellers put some hair on their food after having consumed almost all of it and then tried to get their food for free, claiming that they all felt sick now because of it. I told a member of staff that I had seen it happen but they still gave in and let them all walk out without paying.

to be fair the pikey twats would have just walked out without paying anyway

I once found some meat in my kebab, I was strawberry floating disgusted.

We found some live parasites in our monkfish from sainsburys a couple of months back.

False wrote:We found some live parasites in our monkfish from sainsburys a couple of months back.

Is that how you became the Alpha?

I just found a knife in my kebab and chips.

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