Ian and Craig

PostIan and Craig by **Steve** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:00 pm

Two Kiwis, Ian and Craig are walking down a street in Bondi.

Ian happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 per pair'

Ian says to his pal,

'Craig, look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back to InZid we could make a fortune, now when we go into the shop you be quiet okay just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accint they might not be nice to us I'll speak in my best Aussie accint.'

'No worries, smiled Craig, I'll keep my mouth shut.'

They go in and Ian says,
'I'll take 50 suits at $10.00 each, 100 shirts at $4.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at $5.00 each I'll back up my truck and...'

The owner of the shop interrupts,
'You're from New Zealand, aren't you?'

'Well... yes,' says a surprised Ian. 'How the hill dud you know that?'

The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners'.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **chalkitdown** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:01 pm

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Scotticus Erroticus** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:02 pm

Get out.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Cuttooth** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:06 pm

Horrendously bad even for a purposefully bad joke.

:fp:

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Iron Nan** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:07 pm

He's made the thread now though, can we just post bad jokes?

PostRe: Ian and Craig by KK » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:10 pm

IRON NAN wrote:He's made the thread now though, can we just post bad jokes?

I suppose everyone has heard the joke about the woman who had a dog called Boobies, which then ran off, so she went up to a Police Officer & asked him "Have you seen my boobies?".

Straight out of 1994.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Gandalf** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:12 pm

It's a nice sunny day so Jim decides to go fishing at his usual spot
at a local river. Taking up his usual place, he is surprised to see
another guy sitting on the opposite side of the river. When Jim leaves
that evening the stranger is still sitting there.

When Jim comes back early the next morning, the stranger is there
again and is still fishing when Jim leaves at night.

This happens for a few days until Jim can't contain his curiosity any
more. He walks up to the stranger and says, "Excuse me, I can't help
noticing that every morning when I arrive you are sitting there, and
you're still there when I leave every night. Don't you have a home to
go to?"

"I'm on my honeymoon," replies the stranger. "My wife is in that log
cabin up there on the hillside."

"Shouldn't you be up there screwing her then?" says Jim.

"I can't. She's got gonorrhea," says the stranger.

"What about doing it in her tradesman's entrance?"

"Can't. She's got diarrhoea."

"Well, couldn't you get her to give you a blowjob?"

"Nope. She's got pyorrhea."

"That's terrible," says Jim. "Why did you marry her then?"

"For the maggots."

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **PatSharpsMullet** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:13 pm

Last week when I was watching the Olympics I wondered if there was anything the Chinese weren't good at.

Then I remembered. Picking cockles in Morecambe Bay.

Corazon de Leon · PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Corazon de Leon** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:15 pm

PatSharpsMullet wrote:Last week when I was watching the Olympics I wondered if the there was anything the Chinese weren't good at.

Then I remembered. Picking cockles in Morcambe Bay.

F'kin hell! :lol:

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **LewisD** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:19 pm

Ian and who?

PostRe: Ian and Craig by KK » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:20 pm

Corazon wrote:
PatSharpsMullet wrote:Last week when I was watching the Olympics I wondered if the there was anything the Chinese weren't good at.

Then I remembered. Picking cockles in Morcambe Bay.

F'kin hell!

Beyond outrageous. Anyone from China here? Apologies if so, obviously.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **abcd** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:30 pm

PatSharpsMullet wrote:Last week when I was watching the Olympics I wondered if the there was anything the Chinese weren't good at.

Then I remembered. Picking cockles in Morcambe Bay.

They're not very good at football.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Drumstick** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:16 pm

Craig is actually Welsh, he lives in that little known area of Wales which is situated in the most Northern parts of Scotland.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Oh Teh Noes** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:23 pm

I thought this was about Proto and Craig. Bad show. :fp:

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Johnny Ryall** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:17 pm

When I saw it, I shat bricks.

PostRe: Ian and Craig by **Johnny Ryall** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:19 pm

LewisD wrote:Ian and who?

Bwahaha you bastard.

Ian and Craig

Who is online

Affiliates