If you had kids...

PostIf you had kids... by **Mr Thropwimp** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:57 pm

My parents often tell me that I shouldn't be at uni and I should have a full time job, doing the good 9-5 behind an office computer or whatever. I can't imagine I'm the only one, and all parents must have some sort of idea of what they want to see their kids doing.

So, if you had kids what do you think you'd be happy with. I mean, when the time comes for the poor sod to get a job or go to uni or whatever, would you agree with their choice or suggest something that follows your own footsteps better?

I was just thinking this morning about it and thought that I'd hope my kid wasn't stupid enough not to go to a decent uni and do what he/she thinks is best, and I wouldn't be the sort who'd breathe down their necks telling them to get a better job or whatever.

Oh, and I'd also recommend they buy an external hard drive with their pocket money, I'd get them into rape and fisting, and I'd make damn well sure that the people they are attracted to are never older than 16. To get those out of the way and make this topic shitter than it would have been.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Oh Teh Noes** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:03 pm

My parents are the complete opposite. They were pushing me (well, gently nudging really) in the directon of university on the grounds that it'd stand me in better stead to get a job in the future. They've also pretty much forbidden me from not getting a degree out of my time at uni. :lol:

Corazon de Leon · PostRe: If you had kids... by **Corazon de Leon** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:09 pm

I'd get support no matter what I chose to do with my life, as long as it's a) legal, and b) not wasting my time. I'd hope to be the same with my kids.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Pontius Pilate** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:25 pm

My parents seem to think that alongside university, I should be out at a hard working job. Even though, I get far too much money from my bursary, and loan...I don't need anymore!! I reckon its some sort of..."oh no my sons going to be a lazy hippy" thing.

Mind you, I wouldn't mind maybe a weekend job, during the day. But the chances of that happening are slim in this part of town...

I think it's to do with what kind of life the parents have had. Neither went onto further education and were out working from an age far younger than what I am.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Extralife** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:32 pm

My father and to a lesser extent his whole side of the family were annoyed I went to uni. They're all working class school leavers and none of them see the value of education, especially when its a degree that is not particularly financially rewarding. They can shove it though since both grandparents on my mother's side were teachers and they're all for it.

If I had children I would just let them do whatever made them happy. I don't care if they join a band, become modern artists, buskers or political activists. I'd even tolerate them being strippers or pornstars if that made them happy. Life is to be enjoyed. The only thing I would object to them doing is joining the army (or at least until our defence policy radically changes).

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Slartibartfast** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:57 pm

Extralife wrote:My father and to a lesser extent his whole side of the family were annoyed I went to uni. They're all working class school leavers and none of them see the value of education, especially when its a degree that is not particularly financially rewarding. They can shove it though since both grandparents on my mother's side were teachers and they're all for it.

If I had children I would just let them do whatever made them happy. I don't care if they join a band, become modern artists, buskers or political activists. I'd even tolerate them being strippers or pornstars if that made them happy. Life is to be enjoyed. The only thing I would object to them doing is joining the army (or at least until our defence policy radically changes).

I agree with that sentiment. Being the youngest son in a farming family meant I had a fairly free choice if I didn't fancy the farming life (although I could yet pull the prodigal son stunt if I had to), so off I went to university. But nobody in my extended family went, only my sister, and we're obviously the same generation.. so it was a bit odd for them.

Anyway, would like to say I would support them whatever they did (with the usual legal and not morally reprehensible - although I don't count the Armed Forces in that bracket just yet - caveats), and encourage a libertarian stance than my parents. Think I would have done well at Art College, meself...

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Carlos** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:21 pm

Id love to see my son one day go to university if only because Its probably the best thing you could ever do with your life in terms of an overall experience. School days are overrated and living with people you work with (as opposed to study with) is always a bad idea.

PostRe: If you had kids... by JK » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:50 pm

I'd like to think I'd be happy with whatever my kids want to do, as long as I wouldn't have to support them to some stupid age. Although, saying that, if my plans go to plan I'll be a poor student for another three years... :shifty:

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Fatal Exception** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:54 pm

I'd try and steer them into a highly paying job, something my parents didn't do.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Iron Nan** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:57 pm

Fatal Exception wrote:I'd try and steer them into a highly paying job, something my parents didn't do.

I'd have liked more advice about what careers were worth pursuing, my parents didn't really care (but not in a bad way) what I did.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Red** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:59 pm

My parents have had the patience of a saint with me (6 years to get an undergraduate degree, whoops), so I like to think I would support my kids whatever they chose also. I'd probably have an opinion on what was best for them, depending on their character and intelligence and interests and whatnot but I'd be supportive if they didn't agree. I certainly wouldn't encourage them into something that pays well for the sake of it. My family have never had a vast amount of money but always been pretty happy so I can't see the point of that really.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Fatal Exception** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:00 pm

IRON NAN wrote:
Fatal Exception wrote:I'd try and steer them into a highly paying job, something my parents didn't do.

I'd have liked more advice about what careers were worth pursuing, my parents didn't really care (but not in a bad way) what I did.

My dad strawberry floating went mental when my big sister wanted to be a hair dresser instead of doing A levels. They never gave me any advice whatsoever.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Mr Thropwimp** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:19 pm

My dad and step mum didn't try to hide the fact they hated the idea of me going to college and university. They tried to talk me out of it, and the gap year (the biggest achievement of that was becoming rather depressed) was a direct result of it as I did it to appease them.

The one time I listen to my parents in such an important matter and it turns out to be the worst mistake of my life.

If I had kids I would try to teach them my own ideals: free thinking and open mindedness, independence, the will to take a risk, and most of all, creativity. If I could encourage (not make) my own kid to take up learning musical instruments, or how to design or create other things, I'd be over the moon. I wouldn't begrudge them if they chose not to follow any of that up, so long as they followed their hearts and didn't choose to do something because they felt they had no other choice.

I wouldn't force my ideals on them, though. I'd be as supportive as possible whatever they chose (within reason, of course. I wouldn't let my kid become a waster who lived off the dole and turned to alcohol to make the days go by), something I feel my parents (or at least half of them) haven't been to me. Not that they didn't get a lot of other things right, mind.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **That** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:49 pm

If I were to have a child I would try to encourage it to have some kind of area of interest, be that computing, music, drama, art, mathematics, a physical science, etc etc.

I'd only be disappointed if they did absolutely sod-all with their life.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Banjo** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:59 pm

Yeah, my parents were the exact opposite. Always encouraging me from about the age of six onwards that I should go to uni at some point, I think it was partially because neither of them went and both feel they missed out and that I shouldn't. And no, as much as it may sound like it they're not trying to live out their dreams through me.

On the note of kids I really haven't given it any thought aside from the fact that I'd want to name my potenial son Rocky.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Deluge** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 4:02 pm

Karlprof wrote:If I were to have a child I would try to encourage it to have some kind of area of interest, be that computing, music, drama, art, mathematics, a physical science, etc etc.

This.
My parents have been great to me, constanlty encouraging me in what I take an interest in, While nudging me towards getting a ticket out of this hell hole of factories and 12 hour shifts.
I'd like to think that I would do exactly the same thing when I have kids.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Mr Thropwimp** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 4:32 pm

Banjo wrote:On the note of kids I really haven't given it any thought aside from the fact that I'd want to name my potenial son Rocky.

I'll go for Talula Does The Hula In Hawaii.

I'd like to call my kid Pablo in theory, but I think it might be a bit too, uh, character-forming (name like that he'd probably get the gooseberry fool kicked out of him) in reality.

PostRe: If you had kids... by **JiggerJay** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 4:53 pm

When I was about 15 I was looking at persuing an education in IT, and my dad being the technologically backwards git he is persuaded me not to, eventhough i was dead set, his reasoning for this was he thinks any jobs in IT will be outsourced to kids in India who can download the problem and fix it... he still thinks like that!

So he kinda led me towards A-levels and University, and in all fairness I never wanted to go, although I didn't have any other suggestions, and still some 6 years later, I have no real direction in life, and I am still unemployed.

Cheers Dad!

PostRe: If you had kids... by **Cal** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:23 pm

Charles Manson wrote:My parents often tell me that I shouldn't be at uni and I should have a full time job, doing the good 9-5 behind an office computer or whatever.

That's pretty sad. The same thing happened to me when I was 16 (and wanted to go to art college). I came from a large family (five kids), we had no money and my mum wanted me to just get a job instead. I was lucky - I got a job with a publishing house as a trainee graphic designer: the sort of job no 16 year old can get now for a million different reasons... But I never stopped wanting to get a degree, despite learning on the job, and although not having one has never held me back, I think it's rotten show for any parent to dissuade their kids from going to university/art school, etc for any reason at all.

Charles Manson wrote:Oh, and I'd also recommend they buy an external hard drive with their pocket money, I'd get them into rape and fisting, and I'd make damn well sure that the people they are attracted to are never older than 16. To get those out of the way and make this topic shitter than it would have been.

Somehow, I don't see G Brown and his cronies issuing that particular set of parental 'guidelines' any time soon... :lol:

If you had kids...

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