'Its On Like Horsey Kong!' - THE GRAND FINAL 11.30pm!

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DML
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Post'Its On Like Horsey Kong!' - THE GRAND FINAL 11.30pm!
by DML » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:24 pm

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Several years ago, I ran a forum game involving the greatest of gaming's beat-em-ups matching up head to head managed by GR Forumites.

A lot of time has passed since then, and the idea of management hasn't left. So today I introduce to you 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!' - GR's fastest and most furious horse racing simulator!

As a player, you will either manage a major international stables to victory, or become a horse trainer and train your nag to be the most devine and fastest equine ever!

On a weekly basis, races will take place over a six week season, with the best horses facing off in a final racing classic to determine which horse and stables wins 'IOLHK'!

The game will require a little bit of input once a week regards managing your horse/races/training.

If you are interested, sign up!

And yes.....there ARE horses.

HOW THE GAME WORKS


In this game you will be assigned to one of six international stables. Each of these stables will be home to other trainers who you will team up with to try and win the tournament for your stable. However, on top of this you will be trying to steer tour horse to the higher end of the rankings to qualify for the end-season in Dubai, which is where the IOLDK Champion Horse is decided!

The Countries -

Each country holds a 'home' race-meet before the seasons end, and in these races, all horses local will have a 'home advantage' within the race. These are the countries taking part.

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IRELAND - GREEN


Lets see how the Irish in Killarney have fared with their selection...

SPIDER BABY - trained by Fatal Exception - A small chesnut stallion, but lots of work to be done here. Despite a very determined attitude, this horse lacks quality in all departments right now. Is judged above average at finishing, but more often than not has lost the race before a finish comes into it. Poor starts and jumping. Lots of work required.

BANANAS ON THE BRIDGE - AARON - An average sized chesnut horse, incredibly obedient for such a young horse, and has clearly taken to Aaron. Regards raw ability is across the board dependable, but lacks real top class in any area. Probably best in his energy regulation mid-race. Could work on all areas, especially his sprinting.

PANCAKES - trained by Zenigame - This average looking brown horse proves deceptive as from what we have seen so far this male has huge potential for Ireland. Both his jumping AND his sprinting in the final furlong have been called 'impressive' and 'unbelievable'. Another very obedient horse, true class, but will need to work on poor starts to really be a contender.

MY LOVELY HORSE - trained by Kanbei - This female mare is very quiet in the stables, but out of them she goes of like an absolute ROCKET when it comes to starts. Rarely do I see a horse this fast out of the traps. Many are backing this horse as the one to beat already. Strong in stamina and finishing, but fairly weak when it comes to jumping. On the flats, perhaps unstopable with time. Over fences....susceptible.




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ENGLAND - WHITE

Massive anticipation in Ascot for the arrival of the delivery, and finally it is here. The horses according to the bookies are not the best England has bred in their history, but there is potential within this bunch. Lets look at them.

BIG SLICK - trained by Drumstick- Drummys horse is a male brown horse who is extremely happy-go-lucky and gets on really well with all the horsekeeps. Rarely in a bad mood. The horse is of average size, and has been described as 'steady' by scouts. Best attributes are its stamina and sprint finishing, but has been slow out of the gates in practice. Much work to be done.

JAGERMEISTER NIGHTS - trained by Dark Ritual - DR has currently one of the weaker horses in the field. A small male black horse, incredibly friendly, but lacks serious race confidence. The horse is good at chasing in the final sprint, but is exceptionally poor in regulating his stamina and jumping right now. Its hard to write off horses early on, but I have already heard murmurings - if not for lack of trying.

CHEESECAKE - trained by Frank - A very focused equine. Frank will be training a chesnut coloured male wh9 I have been reliably formed is an excellent sprinter and should be an asset in Flat races with training. However this horse tends to waste energy in the middle third. Also current jumping ability is nearing non-existent. Needs work, but one hell of a fast stallion down the final furlong.

JAJINKSY - trained by Argonaut - Much excitement about this the largest of the female horses in the pack, a very large horse for a female - brown and very enthusiastic, this horse I have already heard described as a 'world class' jumper and I have one scout who reliably believes that this horse could be the best jumper in the world today. This horse also has very strong staying power and a great tank for sprint finishing. Needs work on starts that tend to be lackadaisical but this is a quality mare and England's current best hope.

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FRANCE - BLUE

Mon Dieu! Lets see how the Frenchies have managed!

CHARDONEIGH - trained by Skippy - Skip has the honour of having the only white horse in the field. Another female, she is exceptional quick at starts, and many claim that bar Kanbei's drafted horse - shes the quickest. However, this horse tends to get excitable and lacks any stamina management whatsover. Very friendly will cause no troubles back at the stables. Also notable is a decent jumping ability. One to watch, and with white - will be hard to miss!

MOUSTACHE BOULEVARD - trained by Cuban Pete - Another exceptionally quick starter, this young medium sized brown male is incredibly enthusastic, perhaps too much so sometimes and has incredible speed in the first half. However serious surgery is needed on the rest of his game - his jumping and finishing especially.

RUNNING ON EMPTY - trained by Red Devil - A good draft for Red. Another black horse, this horse has real ability in both its starts, which seems to be a trend with the French born horses this year, and its jumping is truely classy - no falls in training. However he is unbalanced somewhat by utterly woeful finishing and is too easily caught. Very determined, but needs balance.

GARLICKY AFTERTASTE - trained by Satriales - Sat will continue a bit of history with one of three grays in the field. An average male size, this horse at times seem somewhat wild and untamed and is almost always a handful for the handlers. However what this behaviour hides is a world class finisher. This wild mustang has a sprint finish I havent much of beyond Usain Bolt. Also utterly class regards its jumping abilty and its stamina. Severely lacking in early pace and starts. An exciting prospect.


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USA - RED


Over in Kentucky the early impressions haven't been that great - a weaker crop, but there is some class...

DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN - trained by Oh Teh Noes - A larger male brown horse, this nag so far has failed to excite any of the world scouts. Highly determined, but lacking ability - particually in its exceptionally slow starts. However, across the board he is not a poor horse, merely an average one. Needs lots of training to even be considered a contender.

GOOF TROOP - trained by Roonmastor - This horse is quite a character, I have even heard some describe it as 'goofy' but this hides a horse with some potential. Very good at stamina regulation - this medium sized brown male is also a fairly good starter a lot of the time. However that said has been described as 'suicidal' over jumps and has no little to no ability in this area. Maybe potential on the flats - but there will be no flats in Dubai...

NEIGH - trained by Irene Demova - Another female - of an average size and brown. Very friendly but heavily lacking in ability as a racehorse. I overheard one pundit say in would be better in a farm then on the racecourse. Although a harsh comment - the ability is lacking. Strengths are perhaps in its finesse at jumping and maintaining an even pace, but extremely poor starts and finishes undermine this totally. Hard to see how this horse can win in the early season.

HAN SOLO - trained by Hank Scorpio - This horse has been a huge talking point in the camp and divides many. A huge brown horse - the largest in the field by far, he is a tank of a beast and gets very angry around handlers. However regards stamina, there is none better. Tends to be slow out of the blocks, but has a suprisingly strong finish that beguiles his huge weight. Not yet one for jumping, but a horse that with careful handling could really go somewhere.



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JAPAN - PINK

The hi-tech facilities in Kyoto have recieved a delivery of four horses, but how much ability do they have? Will they travel well?

ZETTA RYOUKI - trained by StayDead - A medium sized chesnut female, this horse is adorable and very friendly. Is most noted by scouts for strong finishing in the final furlong. However, tends to lose its head mid race and this will need to be hammered out to be anything close to a contender. Jumping is above average. Needs work, but far from a no-hoper.

SHADOW SPRINT - trained by Dalagonash - This medium male black horse is mainly regarded strongly for his jumping ability, he has a very smooth style that looks trouble free and oozes natural talent. Very slow in the final furlong however, this enthusiastic youngster needs work in other areas.

LASTY - trained by JK - Another of the grays, this small male horse needs some serious work. Determined and in fine condition is tempered with dreadful mid to late race with poor stamina and terrible finishing. However in the top half of the field when it comes to start. Acceptable over fences. However this one doesn't capture the imagination yet.

LOOPY LUIGI - trained by Ropes - A rare chesnut horse on Far Eastern soil, this medium sized male is very nice around the carers. This is by far the best of Japan's jumpers and has huge potential in that area. Lacks in other areas and fairly poor as a finisher. However this horse should produce consistent finishes over fences as long as he is not stifled by being thrown in with much classier horses too early.


ImageAUSTRALIA - YELLOW

The Australians are quietly confident of a first ever IOLHK! title only five years after joining the league. Lets see why....


HOT TO TROT - trained by Dalax - This moody large male brown horse is believed to be nearing world class regards its stamina. Regulates his energy up there with the best. However, lacks hugely as an all rounder. Exceptionally poor speed at start and finish lines, the lowest average speed of any horse in the field. Very good jumper though. If uneveness is battered out, could go places.

PHYLLIS - NOVA - A large brown male, this horse tends to be highly reserved around the paddocks and will need a strong understanding from its owner to get the best out of it. Currently this horse is hard to distinguish as a winner or a loser as thats how incredibly average it is right now. Perhaps stronger as a jumping horse and weaker regards its stamina, but not much seperates his attributes. Easily sculpted, but needs to specialise.

D'ARGO - trained by Call and Answer - Possibly the strongest all rounder, whatever its skittish personality might try its best to undermine at times. The final gray in the field, this average sized male oozes class from every pore. Although not distinguishably world class in every area - he has no real weaknesses right now. Best described right now as 'highly professional'. Some comment his jumping and stamina is a cut above most horses. A definite potential champ.

FIREFOOT - trained by Shas'la - This quiet brown male also seems to have bags of ability although is somewhat uneven. One of the best when it comes to its finishing, there are few horses currently quicker, but hugely lacks stamina and sometimes runs himself out of a race before he even has a chance to sprint for it. Needs much work on its jumping but starts very well. A keeper.



The Racemeets -

In each racemeet will be six races, or less if we have less entrants overall. You may enter your horse into ONE of these races. These races will carry different prize money and different prestige, and it is up to the individiual stables to work out which horses to enter into each race. Do you enter a strong horse into a weaker race to insure a win? Or do you enter a weaker horse into a strong race in the hope it might scrape a position on the podium and some much needed experience?

All decisions on entry are secret and announced all at once, so you will not know what other horses will be involved in that race until the announcement.

Once all races are decided, all races will be simulated using a tweaked version of the board game 'The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game'. Each horse will have individual stats which you can level up or down and they will gain or lose points based on race finishing positions - otherwise known as 'confidence'. A good result, and your horse will find better form in future races, poor results will see your horse get worse, so think twice before your horse enters a race it may get outclassed in.

In IOLHK - Lane position is of HUGE importance. Before each race, when the announcement of the horses for the races are made, your horses will be randomly drawn lanes. Lane 1 is by far the best lane, and Lane 6 is the worst A horse in Lane 1 will have a much improved chance of victory. When I simulate races, I will be using dice rolls, and the horse in Lane 1 will ALWAYS go first, followed by the horse in Lane 2 etc...all the way to the last horse moving in Lane 6.

Horses cannot overtake on the same lane, so if they wish to overtake, they must move outside, or inside a lane to get past a horse which MAY slow them down.

Also, some races will take place on the flat - ie. FLAT RACES, these have no fences, and horses cannot fall over. Others will have fences, ie. NATIONAL HUNT races, and horses falling will be a common occurence in these match-ups.

Horses that finish in the top three in a race will gain confidence, with others losing confidence. You will know your horses stats up front unlike with IOLDK! where stats and the method of winning and losing was kept behind closed doors.

The horses that place in races will gain prize money towards their indivdual record and that of their stables. The top half of horses will qualify for the final races in Dubai to decide the final individual Champion and the winning stables!

Last edited by DML on Sun Mar 13, 2011 6:44 pm, edited 37 times in total.
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Drumstick
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Drumstick » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:26 pm

Liquid liquid liquid

(in)

Check out my YouTube channel!
One man should not have this much power in this game. Luckily I'm not an ordinary man.
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rinks
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by rinks » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:29 pm

...Jockey Kong would have been better.

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Skippy
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Skippy » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:31 pm

Liquid Equestrian System?

In

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Oh Teh Noes
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Oh Teh Noes » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:31 pm

In.

Dr Cottle wrote:My favourite flavour of popsicle is DICK.
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Fatal Exception
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Fatal Exception » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:32 pm

In.

The above post, unless specifically stated to the contrary, should not be taken seriously. If the above post has offended you in any way, please fill in this form and return it to your nearest moderator.
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Denster
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Denster » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:33 pm

In.

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Qikz
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Qikz » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:37 pm

In.

The Watching Artist wrote:I feel so inept next to Qikz...
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DaLax
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by DaLax » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:43 pm

Equine.

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DML
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by DML » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:43 pm

Snowy wrote:Liquid Equestrian System?

In


Oh god yes.

:lol:

If I'm anything I'm memorable...

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Dark Ritual
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Dark Ritual » Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:20 am

In.

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Cuban Pete
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Cuban Pete » Wed Jan 05, 2011 1:03 am

Sweet as shergar.

In

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aayl1
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by aayl1 » Wed Jan 05, 2011 4:51 am

In

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Dalagonash
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Dalagonash » Wed Jan 05, 2011 8:10 am

Neigh.

I mean in.

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I totally do this thing called StreetPass UK and it's real good like.
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Nova
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Nova » Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:08 am

In

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DML
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by DML » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:52 am

For the Work Crew.

:wub:

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Frank
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Post'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Frank » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:54 am

I don't know what this is.

In.

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Red Devil
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Red Devil » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:56 am

You best not be foaling around with us in this game DML.

In for the win.

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Jimmy Shedders
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by Jimmy Shedders » Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:48 pm

The horses are actually werewolves in disguise

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DML
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PostRe: 'Its On Like Horsey Kong!'
by DML » Wed Jan 05, 2011 3:14 pm

More! MOOOOREEEE!


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