GRcade

As Alien Covenant has proven that anyone can be put in charge of unimaginably expensive space missions I think it's time to sort out what jobs we all want on the first manned mission to Mars.
Personally I don't mind if they make it a one way trip ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_One ) as I'm not exactly going to miss out on much as my pub days are pretty much over anyway and I can just challenge people via VR as everyone will be using that soon .
I'd be happy being the support guy for the head of the botany department helping to keep the crew fed and I'd also help to build a pool table as surely that will be priority number one on Mars.

So, what jobs do you all want and no, you can't all be captain as that job goes to whoever we decide is the most likely to cause a massive a needless disaster like running out of cheese which would obviously be the point where we all commit suicide.

My job currently seems to involve pissing about on here, and then bollocking out my work as quickly as possible when a deadline approaches/someone actually asks for it.

Can I do that on Mars, please?

Peter Crisp wrote:So, what jobs do you all want and no, you can't all be captain as that job goes to whoever we decide is the most likely to cause a massive a needless disaster like running out of cheese which would obviously be the point where we all commit suicide.

Sounds perfect for me, where do I sign up and get my Captain's hat?

Poser wrote:My job currently seems to involve pissing about on here, and then bollocking out my work as quickly as possible when a deadline approaches/someone actually asks for it.

Can I do that on Mars, please?

Yeah, sure.
Are you able to spray a machine gun wildly in the general direction of enemies as if so you can also be head of security as well if you like.

Lagamorph wrote:Sounds perfect for me, where do I sign up and get my Captain's hat?

Ok fair enough you can be captain as that's the sort of decisive action we need for this trip.

Can we just confirm that Peter will not be in charge of any passcodes or security intel when this operation takes place

Floex wrote:Can we just confirm that Peter will not be in charge of any passcodes or security intel when this operation takes place

Yep .
Have no fear of Star Trek related password shenanigans.

I'll take Executive Director of Compliance.

Oh, I'm also writing the regulatory handbook .

I have not seen Alien Covenant so I don't know what job I can do to really strawberry float things up.

I can be the guy that goes exploring in caves and starts opening any jars that I find. If there is anything in the jars then I will make sure that I don't tell anybody and I will bring them back on board our ship/living quarters.

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:I'll take Executive Director of Compliance.

Oh, I'm also writing the regulatory handbook .

Fine as long as you make it illegal to not enjoy cheese.

Moggy wrote:I have not seen Alien Covenant so I don't know what job I can do to really strawberry float things up.

I can be the guy that goes exploring in caves and starts opening any jars that I find. If there is anything in the jars then I will make sure that I don't tell anybody and I will bring them back on board our ship/living quarters.

Everyone enjoys random life or death situations so you'll do fine.

Peter Crisp wrote:

Moggy wrote:I have not seen Alien Covenant so I don't know what job I can do to really strawberry float things up.

I can be the guy that goes exploring in caves and starts opening any jars that I find. If there is anything in the jars then I will make sure that I don't tell anybody and I will bring them back on board our ship/living quarters.

Everyone enjoys random life or death situations so you'll do fine.

YES! I GOT THE JOB!!

I won't let you down Peter, I will be bringing back all sorts of goo that I find in my bed when I wake up in the morning.

As Captain I've decided we're no longer going to Mars as Venus looks way better. I'm basing this off a children's book from the 1970s that I found somewhere.

Moggy wrote:YES! I GOT THE JOB!!

I won't let you down Peter, I will be bringing back all sorts of goo that I find in my bed when I wake up in the morning.

Sounds exciting .

Lagamorph wrote:As Captain I've decided we're no longer going to Mars as Venus looks way better. I'm basing this off a children's book from the 1970s that I found somewhere.

That's the spirit. Venus it is then.

It literally rains sulphuric acid on Venus, and it kinda rhymes with Penis.


I'm in!

Poser wrote:It literally rains sulphuric acid on Venus, and it kinda rhymes with Penis.


I'm in!

Sounds nice and warm.

Perfect for my goo.

Fluffer.

I'll be the guy who gets to drive the cool buggy around. The Fast and the Venusian.

Dammit, I missed out on buggy action.

Ok, I'm looking at some sort of high command pilot position. Getting us around the galaxy, docking down into planets, surveying landscapes, that sort of thing.

No flying after 7:30 though, man needs his downtime.

I do photos of eyeballs for a living so I can treat the Venusian blind.