Local news

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Vermilion
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PostRe: Local news
by Vermilion » Sat Oct 20, 2018 7:52 am

https://www.thevisitor.co.uk/news/man-d ... 6d6-zB0fXo

It's an old article from over a decade ago, yet after seeing it pop up on my fb news feed, i couldn't help but bring it here...

Man dressed as Grim Reaper arrested

A man standing outside Morecambe police station dressed as the 'Grim Reaper' was arrested after a drunken night that went from bad to worse. Christopher Kelly, 31, had come to Morecambe on October 5 with a group of friends from Nelson and got extremely drunk on lager and vodka. Kelly lost his mates, who were celebrating a friend's birthday and were also drunk, and wandered onto the beach where he got stuck in boggy sand and lost his shoes, trousers and jacket. Cold and wet, he staggered across the road to Morecambe Town Hall where, seeing a window open, he climbed inside. There he went in various rooms, took a camera and a mobile phone which he tried to use to call his friends. Then he soiled his underwear which he threw into a black bin bag. He found a 'Grim Reaper' fancy dress outfit and put this on before leaving the town hall and wandering down Lord Street towards Poulton Square where he eventually arrived at the police station which was, at that time, unmanned. He stood there for three hours, still in the Grim Reaper gear, until police arrived. As the tale was being outlined by prosecutor Peter Bardsley at Lancaster Magistrates' Court on Friday, one probation service officer had to leave the courtroom in a fit of laughter. Mr Bardsley said some of Kelly's antics in the town hall were captured on CCTV and added: "He didn't remember why he stole the camera and the phone but remembers taking an item of clothing but not where he found it. "He was cold and very drunk." Defending, John Lee said: "This is a strange case, one which has caused hilarity but is serious. "In interview he made a full and frank admission that he was drunk and entered the town hall as a trespasser. "The camera and mobile phone were recovered but the Grim Reaper outfit was disposed of.

"This has been the cause of a great deal of embarrassment for him. "He's remorseful and ashamed of what he's done but has moderated his drinking and doesn't want to end up in a position like that again." Magistrates agreed that they were very bizarre events and gave Kelly, 31, of Railway Street, Nelson a six month conditional discharge after he admitted burglary, having entered the town hall as a trespasser. He was ordered to pay prosecution costs.

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Moggy
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PostRe: Local news
by Moggy » Fri Oct 26, 2018 12:41 pm

Sainsbury's launches range of sex toys - starting from £8

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Doing your weekly shop, you grab milk, eggs, bread and... a vibrator?

Sainsbury's is expanding its offering from today, as it has revealed it has launched a range of sex toys.

According to the supermarket's Living Well Index, sex life satisfaction has a significant impact on an individual’s sense of wellbeing and, alongside sleep, is one of the strongest indicators of how well a person is living.

Sainsbury's has responded by adding the new range, allowing shoppers to add a sex toy to their weekly shopping list.

The range will offer customers a choice of three vibrators: the Rose Gold Bullet (£8), Rose Blush Bullet (£12) and the Aura Silver Vibrator and Massager (£15).

Two of the sex toys will be rolled out to 486 stores across the UK, with the Aura Silver vibrator available in 386. Sainsbury's hasn't identified the stores.

Customers will start to see products appear on shelf from today, with all stores selling them by November 4.

Sainsbury’s says it will monitor sales and customer feedback closely in the next six months, with the ambition to add more products to the range in early 2019.

Paul Mills-Hicks, food commercial director at Sainsbury’s, commented: “We are always on the lookout for new opportunities to help our customers live well for less and they’ve told us that sexual wellbeing is an area they would like to see more choice in.

"Our Living Well Index clearly shows this is an important area for customers’ overall wellbeing. By introducing a new range at affordable prices, we hope to give customers the option to buy quickly and conveniently in an environment they feel comfortable with.”

https://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/17 ... ng-from-8/


As a bonus, two of the comments on that story:

Absolutely disgusting!

I understand there are an increasing minority of people that wish to treat their body's like some sort of arcade machine but that doesn't mean that ordinary people should be confronted with the nauseating apparatus of their sexual immorality when shopping for supper.

I didn't need another reason not to shop there but if I did, this would be it. Where will it all end?


of course they wouldn't sell any sex aids for men, like the fleshlight.....oh it's all rubbish, all men and women need is their hand, but that is free...no money to be made of that is there.


:lol:

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PostRe: Local news
by Jenuall » Fri Oct 26, 2018 12:44 pm

Moggy wrote:
Sainsbury's launches range of sex toys - starting from £8


Sainsburys CEO: "Guys this isn't what I meant when I said we need to double down on self-service!"

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PostRe: Local news
by <]:^D » Fri Oct 26, 2018 1:51 pm

:lol:
arcade machine :lol:

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Vermilion
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PostRe: Local news
by Vermilion » Fri Oct 26, 2018 6:46 pm

DONE A POO!

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Curls
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PostRe: Local news
by Curls » Sun Oct 28, 2018 5:20 am

That pretty girl you like. Now if you bump into her in the supermarket, you can have an awkward conversational about that vibrator she's purchasing. She's classy; of course; so will be buying the £15 one.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Local news
by Green Gecko » Mon Oct 29, 2018 4:25 pm

Lol, minority of people. Everyone knows the majority of people masturbate from time to time. What a stiff.

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PostRe: Local news
by Skarjo » Mon Oct 29, 2018 4:31 pm

Moggy wrote: nauseating apparatus of their sexual immorality


What a BRILLIANT fragment.

Blue Eyes wrote:No wonder I'm eating my balls instead of sweets.

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Hexx
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PostRe: Local news
by Hexx » Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:05 pm

Green Gecko wrote:from time to time.



:shifty:

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PostRe: Local news
by Green Gecko » Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:27 pm

Skarjo wrote:
Moggy wrote: nauseating apparatus of their sexual immorality


What a BRILLIANT fragment.

It's a shame however that for that nugget alone the rest of her writing isn't more cogent. I suspect it was rattled out on a mobile in a fervent expression of distaste if not guilt.

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PostRe: Local news
by Moggy » Mon Oct 29, 2018 5:39 pm

Green Gecko wrote:
Skarjo wrote:
Moggy wrote: nauseating apparatus of their sexual immorality


What a BRILLIANT fragment.

It's a shame however that for that nugget alone the rest of her writing isn't more cogent. I suspect it was rattled out on a mobile in a fervent expression of distaste if not guilt.


She definitely rattles something out.

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Local news
by Green Gecko » Mon Oct 29, 2018 6:56 pm

Who needs one of these when virtually every person in this part of the world has their own personal vibrator already? And they're already on sale at Sainsburys.

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PostRe: Local news
by Moggy » Tue Oct 30, 2018 3:03 pm

Woman who has had sex with 15 ghosts is settling down with a poltergeist

Amethyst Realm says her friends are happy she has found love

A Westcountry woman who hit the headlines when she revealed she had cheated on her fiance by having sex with a ghost - and went on to say she had 15 ghost lovers - has now revealed she has found true love and is planning to marry a poltergeist.

Amethyst Realm hopes to have a baby with her new partner, and says her friends and family are happy she has found true love.

Amethyst says her ghostly partner asked her to marry him while they were on a trip to Wookey Hole, celebrating their nine-month anniversary, reports BristolLive.

The couple met in Australia and flew back to England together - having sex on the plane on the way home.

Amethyst says they are not sure what they will put on the wedding invitations as her spirit fiancé doesn't have a name. She told The Sun : "There was no going down on one knee — he doesn’t have knees. But for the first time, I heard him speak.

“I could actually hear his voice and it was beautiful. Deep, sexy and real.”

Amethyst has left him to decide what kind of ring she gets - although she's hoping for her namesake stone, reports the Mirror .

She is planning a countryside wedding and says they are set on a 'handfasting' ceremony, where their hands will be tied together symbolising their connection.

She predicts it will be a big affair but says they haven't agreed the details yet.

Amethyst has claimed having sex with ghost lovers is better than with physical people.

She told The Sun her orgasms with spirit lovers have been more satisfying than with real men, and that she can feel their weight and energy.

Her family, who Amethyst describes as 'alternative', is not fazed by her relationship and her friends are just pleased she has found love.

Mirror Online has previously reported how Amethyst met her spirit lover in the Australian bush and he then followed her back home to the UK.

She claims they joined the mile high club and had sex in the toilets of the plane.

On how they met, Amethyst said: "When I was in Australia taking a walk out in the bush, just suddenly it approached me. Just something you feel, an emotional physical presence."

"I fell in love with it I guess. It's the one."

In a previous appearance on This Morning, when asked about having a baby, she said: "I hope so. I would hope physical. I've been looking at phantom pregnancies.

"I believe a phantom pregnancy is a real pregnancy but you have a phantom inside of you rather than a human baby.

"The reason we don't carry them to full term is the people who have them don't comprehend it or think it's possible.

"I hope through understanding my body I will be able to. I don’t know what it will turn out like. Whether it would be in human form or spirit form - I don’t know."

In another This Morning appearance last year Amethyst talked about the fact that she left her fiancé after he caught her having an affair with a spirit.

She left viewers baffled as she claimed to have had sex with 15 different ghost lovers.

In another This Morning appearance last year Amethyst talked about the fact that she left her fiancé after he caught her having an affair with a spirit.

She left viewers baffled as she claimed to have had sex with 15 different ghost lovers.

Amethyst says that one night she decided to dress in sexy lingerie and hang around in the spare room, where she'd felt a ghost's presence the most.

She said she waited a while before anything happened and feared that she'd put the ghost off by coming on too strong.

But she claims that just before falling asleep, a ghost turned up and they had sex.

Amethyst went on to discuss how her relationship with her fiancé ended after he caught her in bed with the ghost.

She said: "He says he saw the shape of a man through the window when he pulled up outside."

Amethyst said she believes her first ghost was in love with her and says she was in love with it, but that things fizzled out in the end.

She also said she was angry that the ghost had shown his physical form to her fiancé but not to her.


When asked if sex with a ghost ends in orgasm, Amethyst said: "For me, yes."

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-ne ... ssion=true

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: Local news
by Green Gecko » Tue Oct 30, 2018 4:00 pm

Sounds like she made a trip to Sainsburys.

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PostRe: Local news
by OrangeRKN » Tue Oct 30, 2018 4:14 pm

southparkspookyghost.gif

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Moggy
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PostRe: Local news
by Moggy » Wed Oct 31, 2018 8:56 am

Was your car scraped in Cam?

A driver whose car scraped a parked vehicle in Cam would like to trace its owner.

The incident occurred in the afternoon on Saturday, October 13.

The driver left a note with her details on the windscreen but hasn’t heard from the owner and is concerned that her message may have blown away.

The owner can be contacted via the Gazette at Miranda.airey@gazetteseries.co.uk

https://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/17 ... ed-in-cam/

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PostRe: Local news
by Moggy » Fri Nov 02, 2018 8:30 am

Car crash in Yate car park as it happened

The Gazette have received reports of a car crash in Yate Shopping Centre's car park.

There is an ambulance at the scene, with a number of cars being damaged in the incident.

6.33pm

See website for video.

4.55pm

There will be a video from the scene shortly.

We also have no update on the condition of the male involved in the collision.

4.35pm

There are no issues with the car park.

The shopping centre is still open for business!

4.27pm

At the moment this is the only picture we can bring you of the incident.

You can clearly see damage caused to at least two cars.

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4.05pm

The car park is open as usual.

Residents have confirmed that the cars involved in the incident had orange barriers around them.

4.03pm

A diagram which details the location of the crash in Yate Shopping Centre.

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3.49pm

Mcdonalds in Yate have told the Gazette that they will not be making a comment regarding the incident which happened today.

3.33pm

Yate Leisure Centre have confirmed that the call for the incident was not related to them in any way.

3.20pm

South Western Ambulance Service have released a statement, saying:

"We were called to an incident at Yate Leisure Centre at 14:06.

"One ambulance was sent and a male patient is being conveyed to Southmead Hospital."

3.12pm

Yate Shopping Centre have said that an incident did take place, it was not a rehearsal.

More on this shortly when South Western Ambulance Service release a statement.

3.00pm

Avon and Somerset Police have told that it is not a 'police matter'.

This could mean that it may be a rehearsal for similar events.

Stay here for more updates.

2.55pm

The scene of the crash in the car park.

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2.51pm

The Gazette have received reports of a car crash in Yate Shopping Centre's car park.

There is an ambulance at the scene, with a number of cars being damaged in the incident.

https://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/17 ... -happened/


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Mini E
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PostRe: Local news
by Mini E » Fri Nov 02, 2018 8:35 am

Thank goodness for rolling news there Moggy.

Also, front page of the local news website (by the chief reporter, no less):

Chimney fire in Ryde


The full news report:

The alarm was raised shortly before 2.30pm.

Ryde firefighters have been called to the scene of the fire, at a domestic property at Bedworth Place.

UPDATED: On arriving at the scene, the Ryde crew found no action was needed.

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Moggy
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PostRe: Local news
by Moggy » Fri Nov 02, 2018 8:42 am

Mini E wrote:Thank goodness for rolling news there Moggy.


The diagram was the best part, thank god we know exactly where the crash happened!

Also, front page of the local news website (by the chief reporter, no less):

Chimney fire in Ryde


The full news report:

The alarm was raised shortly before 2.30pm.

Ryde firefighters have been called to the scene of the fire, at a domestic property at Bedworth Place.

UPDATED: On arriving at the scene, the Ryde crew found no action was needed.


:lol:

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PostRe: Local news
by Green Gecko » Sat Nov 03, 2018 8:46 am

I kind imagine how this reporter would cope in Liberty City. "There is an armed man on a building overseeing the crash of several vehicles. He appears to be equipped with a rocket launcher. There does not seem to be any reason for this. Updates at 2:23pm."

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