Hello people, my name is(n't) RogueLeader, and thank you for reading my review of Michael Jackson's latest film, This Is It. I know what you're thinking, "Michael Jackson is dead and is never coming back. Why are you not dead and he alive? Swap. I demand it. Even if it's not physically possible. I'm unreasonable like that". Jeez, you're all thinking that? Harsh bananas, dug.
Anyway, I drove my 5-wheeled car to my local cineplex. It has 15 screens and 16 screams. What does that mean? I don't know, I'm not one of the 17 managers who run that place. 18 holes on a golf course. Unless you count the bar in the clubhouse, humorously named "The 19th Hole". Last time I was there I couldn't find the green, and there was no place to mark my score on the wee, tiny card. I took out the 3 Wood and drove the ball into the barman's face. Unlucky, I had to take a drop shot. Where's the hole? In that empty pint glass? Fine, it'll have to do. Double bogey, for fork's sake.
Bought a ticket, popcorn, cola. Ate the ticket, chucked the cola off a bridge, and emptied the popcorn over Manager #12's head. He called me a dick'ead in his local newspaper article...probably. Time to watch the movie. BORING. It's just a load of chiseled male vampires marching about, and there's some annoying teen girl eyeing them up. Where's Michael Jackson? Oh, there he is. No wait, that's the usher showing the police where I'm sitting. I ought to cram that torch where the sun don't shine, i.e. Michael Jackson, because he's dead, and teen vampires, because they don't like sunlight.
Absolutely amazing throughout, can you please write a book telling me how to be like you so I too can make friends and throw things off bridges like you?
