"My entire face was blown off by maximum awesome"

CrashHornet wrote:
Hero of Canton wrote:Wow, what a roaring success this thread was.

Anyway, here's my favourite review of recent weeks - http://ds.nowgamer.com/reviews/ds/8487/ ... -the-mummy

As I sat deep in reverie, refilling my pipe and musing over a particularly perplexing edition of the Times crossword puzzle, there became a peculiar rapping at my study door. Confident as I am in my own natural abilities of deduction, I detected a peculiarly anguished tone to the performance.

It gets better, too. Worth a look, methinks.

Brilliant stuff, that.

As I've just 'tweeted' I can't decide if I think "my face was blown off by maximum awesome" is a work of genius or not.

It's the 'entire' that makes it for me. It's not just his face, but his entire face. It's all in italics in the preview, too. Brilliant.

My favourite review? Eurogamer's 9/10 review for EDF 2017. It's not like it deserved 9s everywhere, but it deserved a 9 somewhere. Especially as almost every major reviewer loved it, then concluded the review with "but it's a bit cheap around the edges so I guess I'd better give it 6 or 7". God bless you, Kieron Gillen!

There are many good reasons not to buy Earth Defence Force 2017....

You may be an arachnophobe. Seeing dozens of spiders the size of cars bounce over the horizon before capturing you in a tsunami of fluids - like some kind of weaponized bukkake - will give you a month of nightmares .

You might have a heart condition and can't stand loud-noises, bright lights or excitements. EDF2017 has the loudest noises and brightest lights of the year so far - at its best - can go trade excitements with the best of them.

You may think that Robotron x Rampage + Serious Sam doesn't equal ACEIOSITY.

You might believe violence solves nothing when - in fact - it solves over fifty levels of action, across multiple difficulty levels.

You may have friends and family who are ants. I understand. It's difficult.

You might not like smiling.

You might be stupid. Because there's always that, isn't there?

If none of these apply, you've got no bloody excuse.

9/10

As a bonus, the comments are full of Gears fans outraged that EDF scored higher.

Hero of Canton wrote:
CrashHornet wrote:
Hero of Canton wrote:Wow, what a roaring success this thread was.

Anyway, here's my favourite review of recent weeks - http://ds.nowgamer.com/reviews/ds/8487/ ... -the-mummy

As I sat deep in reverie, refilling my pipe and musing over a particularly perplexing edition of the Times crossword puzzle, there became a peculiar rapping at my study door. Confident as I am in my own natural abilities of deduction, I detected a peculiarly anguished tone to the performance.

It gets better, too. Worth a look, methinks.

Brilliant stuff, that.

As I've just 'tweeted' I can't decide if I think "my face was blown off by maximum awesome" is a work of genius or not.

It's the 'entire' that makes it for me. It's not just his face, but his entire face. It's all in italics in the preview, too. Brilliant.

on the other hand, the phrase "Maximum awesome" needs to be buried in the same landfill as Atari ET and forgotten about forever.

It sounds like something the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles would have come out with.

TheTurnipKing wrote:
Hero of Canton wrote:
CrashHornet wrote:
Hero of Canton wrote:Wow, what a roaring success this thread was.

Anyway, here's my favourite review of recent weeks - http://ds.nowgamer.com/reviews/ds/8487/ ... -the-mummy

As I sat deep in reverie, refilling my pipe and musing over a particularly perplexing edition of the Times crossword puzzle, there became a peculiar rapping at my study door. Confident as I am in my own natural abilities of deduction, I detected a peculiarly anguished tone to the performance.

It gets better, too. Worth a look, methinks.

Brilliant stuff, that.

As I've just 'tweeted' I can't decide if I think "my face was blown off by maximum awesome" is a work of genius or not.

It's the 'entire' that makes it for me. It's not just his face, but his entire face. It's all in italics in the preview, too. Brilliant.

on the other hand, the phrase "Maximum awesome" needs to be buried in the same landfill as Atari ET and forgotten about forever.

It sounds like something the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles would have come out with.

I disagree, it sounds like something one of the guys from Sony would say.

Howard Stringer wrote:Once the publishers' excitement reaches a level of intensity that they start using more of the bandwidth, that will create additional excitement.

Additional excitement, MAXIMUM AWESOME! YEAH!

Tragic Magic wrote:Why does Proto have a mammoth list of Hugo quotes?! That's just creepy.

I bet he writes them all out in full off by heart each time, the creep. :shock:

A saying I read in an issue of NGamer (think it was a review of... some Movie License game by Chrissy):

"it'll end up on more platforms than a train coming in sideways"

Was ages ago now that I read it but can still remember it, and it still makes me laugh.

Tim Weaver described an abysmal game in N64 Magazine as being "as technically intricate as a long piece of wood with a bent nail sticking out of it". Always liked that line

speedboatchase wrote:Tim Weaver described an abysmal game in N64 Magazine as being "as technically intricate as a long piece of wood with a bent nail sticking out of it". Always liked that line

N64 Magazine had some brilliant quotes. There was one from a review of that Sub Zero game that went something like "it couldn't be any less enjoyable if it squirted sulphuric acid in your face".

Yeah, the little summaries of rubbish games at the back of N64 magazine were always full of cracking lines. :lol:

HSH28 wrote:
Tragic Magic wrote:Why does Proto have a mammoth list of Hugo quotes?! That's just creepy.

chalkitdown collated the information, i post it from time to time.

"My entire face was blown off by maximum awesome"

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