Overheard

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Moggy
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PostOverheard
by Moggy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:49 pm

This is a thread to share any conversation that you have overheard but not been involved in.

Earlier today I overheard the following conversation in the office.


Person 1: strawberry floating trains were delayed again yesterday. Somebody ought to invent teleporters!

Person 2: Oh that is definitely going to happen, maybe not in my lifetime but they are definitely coming.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: Yes, think about it. Thousands of years ago you could only cook food using fire, now we have microwaves that can cook food just with waves. Teleporting isn’t that far fetched.

Person 1: Yeah….I guess….

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OrangeRKN
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PostRe: Overheard
by OrangeRKN » Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:51 pm

Between your work and your facebook I feel like you must be being punished by a higher power Moggy

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Lagamorph
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PostRe: Overheard
by Lagamorph » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:02 pm

Woman walking into the office last week: It smells like hot vaseline

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Moggy
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PostRe: Overheard
by Moggy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:08 pm

OrangeRKN wrote:Between your work and your facebook I feel like you must be being punished by a higher power Moggy


Don’t forget my landlords!

I must have been Hitler in a previous life. ;)

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Mini E
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PostRe: Overheard
by Mini E » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:17 pm

Arrived at the office at 07:30 this morning and there's some building work going on campus just outside our building.

"Why don't you all just strawberry float OFF?"

*builder walks off site and away down the car park*

All a bit early for that sorta thing.

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Moggy
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PostRe: Overheard
by Moggy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:51 pm

Person 1: What the hell did you do to it?

Person 2: Just knocked it

Person 1: Really? It looks horrible!

Person 3: It looks just like a sausage roll!

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Preezy
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PostRe: Overheard
by Preezy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:52 pm

Moggy wrote:Person 1: What the hell did you do to it?

Person 2: Just knocked it

Person 1: Really? It looks horrible!

Person 3: It looks just like a sausage roll!

I think we all know that you were Person 2 in that conversation, Moggy :lol:

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Moggy
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PostRe: Overheard
by Moggy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:53 pm

Preezy wrote:
Moggy wrote:Person 1: What the hell did you do to it?

Person 2: Just knocked it

Person 1: Really? It looks horrible!

Person 3: It looks just like a sausage roll!

I think we all know that you were Person 2 in that conversation, Moggy :lol:


Nope. Mine looks like a toad in the hole.

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Drumstick
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PostRe: Overheard
by Drumstick » Fri Oct 19, 2018 2:59 pm

Moggy wrote:OP...

Crazy lady?

One man should not have this much power in this game. Luckily I'm not an ordinary man.
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Moggy
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PostRe: Overheard
by Moggy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:02 pm

Drumstick wrote:
Moggy wrote:OP...

Crazy lady?


Which one? :slol:

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Moggy
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PostRe: Overheard
by Moggy » Wed Oct 24, 2018 11:42 am

Person 1: Well I can’t say it
Person 2: It’s easy, ombudsman
Person 1: Ombussyman?
Person 2: No there is no bus in the word
Person 1: Yes there is
Person 2: No there isn’t, look at how it is spelt
Person 1: ….
Person 1: Oh yeah, OM-BUS-MAN?
Person 2: Yeah that’ll do……

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Photek
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PostRe: Overheard
by Photek » Wed Oct 24, 2018 2:38 pm

I'm always worried if my neighbours hear the missus and I talking. We've adapted an odd offensive sense of humour to each other.

This morning:
Wife: Did you lock the front door cos if you didn't I'll beat you.
Me: Bitch please, check it if you don't believe me
Wife: You wanna go bitch you wanna take me on?
Me: Don't make me give you the back hand again.

It's all in jest but yeah, I worry if people think we're serious.

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Johnny Jalfrezi
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PostRe: Overheard
by Johnny Jalfrezi » Wed Oct 24, 2018 2:42 pm

A bloke in the pub once said that Japan was like a foreign country.

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NickSCFC
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PostRe: Overheard
by NickSCFC » Wed Oct 24, 2018 2:48 pm

Photek wrote:I'm always worried if my neighbours hear the missus and I talking. We've adapted an odd offensive sense of humour to each other.

This morning:
Wife: Did you lock the front door cos if you didn't I'll beat you.
Me: Bitch please, check it if you don't believe me
Wife: You wanna go bitch you wanna take me on?
Me: Don't make me give you the back hand again.

It's all in jest but yeah, I worry if people think we're serious.


We're exactly the same, we deliberately start arguments in supermarket checkouts just for a laugh.

We tend to bicker quite a lot but I don't think we've ever actually had an argument.

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rinks
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PostRe: Overheard
by rinks » Wed Oct 24, 2018 3:13 pm

Photek wrote:I'm always worried if my neighbours hear the missus and I talking. We've adapted an odd offensive sense of humour to each other.

This morning:
Wife: Did you lock the front door cos if you didn't I'll beat you.
Me: Bitch please, check it if you don't believe me
Wife: You wanna go bitch you wanna take me on?
Me: Don't make me give you the back hand again.

It's all in jest but yeah, I worry if people think we're serious.

Sounds like a pre-emptive Staydead defence.

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shadow202
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PostRe: Overheard
by shadow202 » Wed Oct 24, 2018 8:12 pm

I work as a mortgage advisor and one of my colleagues was doing an application with a customer today (I only heard his side of the conversation but it went something like this)

CO: I take it your wife changed her name when you got married?

CU:....

CO: that was quite the coincidence that you both had the same name

CU:.....

CO: your uncles daughter? So your cousin :/

CU:....

CO: Well if you say so

I had to leave to do something else and didn't get to ask him about the rest of this conversation but I'd imagine it makes a good story.

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Tsunade
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PostRe: Overheard
by Tsunade » Wed Oct 24, 2018 8:17 pm

Overheard by me in Poundland whilst buying some chocolate:

Teen 1: my sister is having a baby shower
Teen 2: how boring.
T1: what do you mean?
T2: well it's not like she's giving birth to an apatchi helicopter is it? That would be epic!

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Godzilla
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PostRe: Overheard
by Godzilla » Wed Oct 24, 2018 8:28 pm

Walking down the high street of South Shields

Small child in push chair: crying none stop
Father pushing him: Well son, life is gooseberry fool!

Wish my image sig would work
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Jenuall
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PostRe: Overheard
by Jenuall » Thu Oct 25, 2018 9:46 am

Godzilla wrote:South Shields ... life is gooseberry fool!


Sounds about right. :P

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Corazon de Leon
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PostRe: Overheard
by Corazon de Leon » Thu Oct 25, 2018 9:50 am

Moggy wrote:Person 1: Well I can’t say it
Person 2: It’s easy, ombudsman
Person 1: Ombussyman?
Person 2: No there is no bus in the word
Person 1: Yes there is
Person 2: No there isn’t, look at how it is spelt
Person 1: ….
Person 1: Oh yeah, OM-BUS-MAN?
Person 2: Yeah that’ll do……


ARGH this is one of the banes of my working life, people who can’t spell or say ombudsman but still use it as a threat.

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