Basically when it comes to writing on the net or on games I want to see what areas I can improve ie because I think my writing is a bit poo.
If anyone wants to help you can look at my work here and here:
http://radirgy.blogspot.co.uk/
http://gigapepsiman.blogspot.co.uk/
Feedback would be handy to say the least.
Please give me tips on how to improve my writing.
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Dig Dug
- Member
- Joined in 2011
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Lotus
- Member
- Joined in 2008
First thing that leaps out is the structuring of your sentences, and use (or lack of 
) of punctuation. For example:
should, in my view, be more along the lines of:
It's been a while, hasn't it? Those with long memories will remember that I took a break from the blog to try and pursue other goals and interests; sadly those goals and interests fell short of my original intentions and I am always changing my plans (not really sure that this makes sense...I get the gist of what you're trying to say, but it doesn't really come across clearly). Enough of my dead projects, though - the following is about a game I got from Gamestation before it shut down.
Can you see the difference? A bit more structure, more pauses, and I think it flows a bit better. Always read back what you've written, several times, and imagine that you're reading it for the first time. When writing, you know what you're trying to get across, but as the reader, you're not privy to that information - the words in front of you are all that you have. I'll read some more later when I've more time and try and offer more advice (if you want it!).
) of punctuation. For example:It's been a while hasn't it? Those with long memories will remember I took a break from the blog to try and pursue other goals and interests, sadly those goals and interests fell short of my original intentions and I am always changing my plans. But enough of my dead projects here is a game I got from Gamestation before it shut down.
should, in my view, be more along the lines of:
It's been a while, hasn't it? Those with long memories will remember that I took a break from the blog to try and pursue other goals and interests; sadly those goals and interests fell short of my original intentions and I am always changing my plans (not really sure that this makes sense...I get the gist of what you're trying to say, but it doesn't really come across clearly). Enough of my dead projects, though - the following is about a game I got from Gamestation before it shut down.
Can you see the difference? A bit more structure, more pauses, and I think it flows a bit better. Always read back what you've written, several times, and imagine that you're reading it for the first time. When writing, you know what you're trying to get across, but as the reader, you're not privy to that information - the words in front of you are all that you have. I'll read some more later when I've more time and try and offer more advice (if you want it!).
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1cmanny1
- Member ♥
- Joined in 2008
- Location: New Zealand
Lotus is right, I share your pain though my writing is gooseberry fool. You just have to read through it slowly and make sure it is easy to read.
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Harry Bizzle
- Member
- Joined in 2008
Lotus wrote: those goals and interests fell short of my original intentions and I am always changing my plans
Fragment, consider revising.
instagram: @habiz
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Lotus
- Member
- Joined in 2008
Harry Bizzle wrote:Lotus wrote: those goals and interests fell short of my original intentions and I am always changing my plans
Fragment, consider revising.
Well, yes, hence me saying it doesn't make sense.
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1>3>4>2
- Member
- Joined in 2008
- AKA: Anung
I just write regardless of quality.... 
Ad7 wrote:GOT GUD
Check out my youtube channel where I sporadically release videos whenever I can be bothered. https://www.youtube.com/user/contardation
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