Poor Bob...

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.


The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says.

'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says.

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says.

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


Bob's funeral will be on Friday

Good, but saw the taxi driver comment coming.

Why on earth did Bob agree to go through with the visit when he saw his wife had arranged a visit to the very strip-club he regularly frequents? Even if we generously assume that Bob was unaware of his wife's plans until the few moments before he arrived at the joint, surely anyone in that position would be capable of thinking on his feet quickly enough to excuse himself? I have no sympathy for the man.

moi wrote:Why on earth did Bob agree to go through with the visit when he saw his wife had arranged a visit to the very strip-club he regularly frequents? Even if we generously assume that Bob was unaware of his wife's plans until the few moments before he arrived at the joint, surely anyone in that position would be capable of thinking on his feet quickly enough to excuse himself? I have no sympathy for the man.

^

And then Bob was a zombie...

The joke isn't plausible enough. Why would he agree to go knowing that he was a regulary and people would probably recognise him? Decent effort though.

Jesus....what a bunch of moaners. Try this:


A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

'You know what?', says the 7 year old, 'I think it's bloody well time
we started swearing.'

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you
swear after me, ok?'

'Ok' the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants
for breakfast.

'Oh, gooseberry fool mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops'

WHACK!!

He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,
and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, 'And what do
YOU want for breakfast, young man?

'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be strawberry floating Coco Pops!'

I was wilfully missing the point before Gandalf. Here's a Harry Hill joke that made me laugh when I heard it.

'I was heading back to where my car was parked the other day, and wouldn't you know it, standing right next to it was a traffic warden with her notebook out. I rushed over, saying 'okay, relax, I'll move it!' and she said 'you relax! It's my day off,' and she gave me a beautiful charcoal etching of a Nissan Micra.

Tragic Magic wrote:And then Bob was a zombie...

But who was Bob?

Gandalf wrote:Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.


The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says.

'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says.

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says.

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


Bob's funeral will be on Friday

That's quite a sad story, mostly because of the things that aren't mentioned: that the marriage between Bob and his wife probably wasn't very good. Why would he go to these strip club or pick up hookers? Was his wife not satisfying him anymore? Or did he just want some variation in his 'sexual diet'?

If only he would have told her about his needs, he might still be alive... Communication is key, people!

Gandalf wrote:Jesus....what a bunch of moaners. Try this:


A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

'You know what?', says the 7 year old, 'I think it's bloody well time
we started swearing.'

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you
swear after me, ok?'

'Ok' the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants
for breakfast.

'Oh, gooseberry fool mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops'

WHACK!!

He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,
and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, 'And what do
YOU want for breakfast, young man?

'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be strawberry floating Coco Pops!'

I think the major problem with the OP is that...

Gandalf wrote:Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

No woman would think their husband is overworked if he spends two nights bowling and is playing golf all Saturday. If anything she'll be wanting him to stay at home on Saturdays to put up some shelves or something.

they are both great , dont mind these twats