Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x

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Tomous
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Tomous » Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:46 pm

Sleeping with 10 people and then getting a relationship from the last seems pretty successful compared to your approach of sleeping with no one and getting no relationship...

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Sun Mar 05, 2017 12:46 pm

Doing things differently isn't a negative, but your methods clearly aren't getting results are they?

Nobody is picking on you, most of us are just trying to push you into making it clear you want a girlfriend not a friend. You don't have to smash the bitch after 20 mins but you should at least go after it like a potential girlfriend rather than make yourself a buddy then start trying to fight out of that hole..?

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by bigcheez2k3 » Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:05 pm

Tomous wrote:Sleeping with 10 people and then getting a relationship from the last seems pretty successful compared to your approach of sleeping with no one and getting no relationship...


This. Not sure you can complain about sleeping with 10 people.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Drumstick » Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:30 pm

If you wait around for the perfect set of circumstances to finally get into a relationship with someone, your chances of success are actually reasonably slim because you haven't got the experience and general lessons learned from prior relationships.

Tomous wrote:Sleeping with 10 people and then getting a relationship from the last seems pretty successful compared to your approach of sleeping with no one and getting no relationship...

:lol:

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Fade
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Fade » Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:30 pm

Well people are different.

I wouldn't measure my friendship with a close male friend on whether or not I had hugged them. I would measure it on how they treated me. So from my point of view I don't see why it would be so different for a relationship.

Your guy's measure of 'success' seems to be sex. Which is fine, but it's not mine.

I could go out clubbing and get laid if I really wanted to, but I don't, I wouldn't enjoy it.

I've talked to her in depth about it and she admits herself she is very reserved and said that I don't need to worry about being seeming too passive. So it's going well. She is well aware I'm interested in her and well aware we are dating, not friends. Heck she sees me more than her best friend.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:36 pm

Nah, my measure of success is actually having a bird, innit.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:37 pm

The fact that she lets me see her boobies from time to time is just a bonus

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by That's not a growth » Sun Mar 05, 2017 1:45 pm

Yeah, sex isn't "the" measure of success, but it is one of them. What's the difference between friendship and a relationship without intimacy?

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Fade » Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:02 pm

Well I wouldn't call this a relationship yet.

But I would say: the amount of time you spend together, the kind of things you talk about, the kind of things you do for each other.

I think a good measure of if you're in a relationship or not is if you hold hands with the other person :lol: when that happens I will know.

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Ad7
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Ad7 » Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:46 pm

Fade wrote:Well I wouldn't call this a relationship yet.

But I would say: the amount of time you spend together, the kind of things you talk about, the kind of things you do for each other.

I think a good measure of if you're in a relationship or not is if you hold hands with the other person :lol: when that happens I will know.


Tell that to eighthours...

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Fade » Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:58 pm

Why?

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Parksey
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PostRelationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Parksey » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:05 pm

Also, to go back to the point on the next page, if you got with 10 people and only ended up in a long term relationship with one of them, that doesn't mean the other 9 were failures.

Being in a relationship is all about finding out what works and what doesn't, what you can handle and what you can't, and what you will put up with and what you won't.

The 9 times it didn't work out weren't failures, but are often one of you finding out their own personal parameters.

It sounds like you sometimes try to nice and cleanly find these parameters with someone before any romantic stuff.

Which is fine except, with the best will in the world, measuring them when you're just friends is a whole lot different to how you view things when you're in a relationship.

And yeah, I know quite a few people that might in night clubs or bars, one of my closest friends and my own parents to boot.

Dismissing it as just "about sex" is wrong. People are often at their more social and open in such places. You can often find out more about a person and what they are like when they let their hair down and have a few drinks. You're able to get more insight into their personality than going to the cinema or sending a tonne of texts.

People give you advice here not because they're sex-crazed maniacs (okay, maybe Falsey is) but because they see that some of the barriers in the way are ones you put up yourself. Just like with StayDead and Email-gate.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Tafdolphin » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:14 pm

Fade wrote:You guys really don't like people who do things differently to yourselves do you? Every time I post in here I get some kind of gooseberry fool for doing things differently.


Because you're coming in here and making huge sweeping statements that are blatantly misguided, like the fact that no decent relationship starts with sex.

Tone it down a bit grandad.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Fade » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:42 pm

Tafdolphin wrote:
Fade wrote:You guys really don't like people who do things differently to yourselves do you? Every time I post in here I get some kind of gooseberry fool for doing things differently.


Because you're coming in here and making huge sweeping statements that are blatantly misguided, like the fact that no decent relationship starts with sex.

Tone it down a bit grandad.

I literally said

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club


Never once said what you accused me of. Then I said

I never said that it doesn't happen, just that I personally don't know many people who it happened to. Try reading what I actually wrote before you get offended


Which you clearly didn't read, so, nice one.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Knoyleo » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:46 pm

Fade wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:
Fade wrote:We're dating, definitely more than friends

I don't see how you go from not knowing someone, to wanting to be affectionate towards them in less than 24 hours of being around them.Yeah I would have been okay with it sooner, but she is clearly more shy than me,
and I'm sure from my posts it's clear I'm pretty shy around new people.

Wut?

It's not simply being affectionate, it's lust. Virtually every human on the planet will have wanted to get 'affectionate' towards someone in less than 24 hours.

He'll, plenty of people who go out partying or to pubs or clubs or wherever will have become 'affectionate' within about five minutes of meeting someone.

Right, but those situations aren't exactly a great basis for a serious relationship are they? Because that's what I'm looking for.

The situations you described are based on sexual attraction, where as what I am talking about is based on trust and understanding and friendship.

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club:lol:

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Fade » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:55 pm

I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Gently-Parted Ringpiece » Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:09 pm

Short term /=/ Not serious

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Tomous
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Tomous » Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:11 pm

Fade wrote:I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.


But they are a great basis for meeting people and potential partners. You're only supporting your argument that they're not by literally making up statistics...

I could just as easily say if you go on endless dates without any kind of physical chemistry, waiting to hold hands with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship.

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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Tafdolphin » Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:19 pm

Fade wrote:I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.


This is the statement I was referring to. You accuse people of not "getting you" but are giving no consideration to methods different from your own, therefore setting yourself as someone superior and then getting all high and mighty when people call you on it.

You don't strawberry float on a first date. Some people do. Some of those first-date-fucks turn into lifelong relationships. Accept that and move on.

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Fade
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PostRe: Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x
by Fade » Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:24 pm

Tafdolphin wrote:
Fade wrote:I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.


This is the statement I was referring to. You accuse people of not "getting you" but are giving no consideration to methods different from your own, therefore setting yourself as someone superior and then getting all high and mighty when people call you on it.

You don't strawberry float on a first date. Some people do. Some of those first-date-fucks turn into lifelong relationships. Accept that and move on.

I did. The only reason we are having this conversation is because people started criticising my way of doing things without knowing anything about me or who I'm dating.

I don't give a gooseberry fool what other people do :lol:

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