Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x

Fade wrote:Well I wouldn't call this a relationship yet.

But I would say: the amount of time you spend together, the kind of things you talk about, the kind of things you do for each other.

I think a good measure of if you're in a relationship or not is if you hold hands with the other person when that happens I will know.

Tell that to eighthours...

Why?

Also, to go back to the point on the next page, if you got with 10 people and only ended up in a long term relationship with one of them, that doesn't mean the other 9 were failures.

Being in a relationship is all about finding out what works and what doesn't, what you can handle and what you can't, and what you will put up with and what you won't.

The 9 times it didn't work out weren't failures, but are often one of you finding out their own personal parameters.

It sounds like you sometimes try to nice and cleanly find these parameters with someone before any romantic stuff.

Which is fine except, with the best will in the world, measuring them when you're just friends is a whole lot different to how you view things when you're in a relationship.

And yeah, I know quite a few people that might in night clubs or bars, one of my closest friends and my own parents to boot.

Dismissing it as just "about sex" is wrong. People are often at their more social and open in such places. You can often find out more about a person and what they are like when they let their hair down and have a few drinks. You're able to get more insight into their personality than going to the cinema or sending a tonne of texts.

People give you advice here not because they're sex-crazed maniacs (okay, maybe Falsey is) but because they see that some of the barriers in the way are ones you put up yourself. Just like with StayDead and Email-gate.

Fade wrote:You guys really don't like people who do things differently to yourselves do you? Every time I post in here I get some kind of gooseberry fool for doing things differently.

Because you're coming in here and making huge sweeping statements that are blatantly misguided, like the fact that no decent relationship starts with sex.

Tone it down a bit grandad.

Tafdolphin wrote:
Fade wrote:You guys really don't like people who do things differently to yourselves do you? Every time I post in here I get some kind of gooseberry fool for doing things differently.

Because you're coming in here and making huge sweeping statements that are blatantly misguided, like the fact that no decent relationship starts with sex.

Tone it down a bit grandad.

I literally said

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club

Never once said what you accused me of. Then I said

I never said that it doesn't happen, just that I personally don't know many people who it happened to. Try reading what I actually wrote before you get offended

Which you clearly didn't read, so, nice one.

Fade wrote:
Rocsteady wrote:
Fade wrote:We're dating, definitely more than friends

I don't see how you go from not knowing someone, to wanting to be affectionate towards them in less than 24 hours of being around them.Yeah I would have been okay with it sooner, but she is clearly more shy than me,
and I'm sure from my posts it's clear I'm pretty shy around new people.

Wut?

It's not simply being affectionate, it's lust. Virtually every human on the planet will have wanted to get 'affectionate' towards someone in less than 24 hours.

He'll, plenty of people who go out partying or to pubs or clubs or wherever will have become 'affectionate' within about five minutes of meeting someone.

Right, but those situations aren't exactly a great basis for a serious relationship are they? Because that's what I'm looking for.

The situations you described are based on sexual attraction, where as what I am talking about is based on trust and understanding and friendship.

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club:lol:

I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.

Short term /=/ Not serious

Fade wrote:I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.

But they are a great basis for meeting people and potential partners. You're only supporting your argument that they're not by literally making up statistics...

I could just as easily say if you go on endless dates without any kind of physical chemistry, waiting to hold hands with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship.

Fade wrote:I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.

This is the statement I was referring to. You accuse people of not "getting you" but are giving no consideration to methods different from your own, therefore setting yourself as someone superior and then getting all high and mighty when people call you on it.

You don't strawberry float on a first date. Some people do. Some of those first-date-fucks turn into lifelong relationships. Accept that and move on.

Tafdolphin wrote:
Fade wrote:I said they're not a great basis for a serious relationship. I didn't say "NO GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM"

If you sleep with 10 people and only end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, that is statistically and factually not a good basis for a serious relationship right?

Doesn't mean that one can't come of it, I never said that.

This is the statement I was referring to. You accuse people of not "getting you" but are giving no consideration to methods different from your own, therefore setting yourself as someone superior and then getting all high and mighty when people call you on it.

You don't strawberry float on a first date. Some people do. Some of those first-date-fucks turn into lifelong relationships. Accept that and move on.

I did. The only reason we are having this conversation is because people started criticising my way of doing things without knowing anything about me or who I'm dating.

I don't give a gooseberry fool what other people do :lol:

Corazon de Leon

Why post here in the relationship advice thread if you're going to dismiss quite casually all of the advice that's given about your potential relationship?

Tafdolphin wrote:
Fade wrote:You guys really don't like people who do things differently to yourselves do you? Every time I post in here I get some kind of gooseberry fool for doing things differently.

Because you're coming in here and making huge sweeping statements that are blatantly misguided, like the fact that no decent relationship starts with sex.

Tone it down a bit grandad.

That's almost exactly what I was going to say.

Fade, you've come into the thread for advice and rather than listen to anybody you've basically just laughed at the idea that people can get intimate quickly and yet still end up in a long term loving relationship.

Why that sounds ridiculous to us is because the majority of us are in long term relationships that started getting sexual quickly while you are asking for advice on how to kiss a girl after 5 dates.

It's fine that you/her/both want to take it slow. I certainly wouldn't judge you for that. The issue was with your condescending sounding posts on those of us that are not chaste until we've been married for 3 years.

I didn't ask for any advice after responding to Banjo.

And I originally asked for advice from people that had dated overly shy girls.

I have never dated a shy girl, don't think I could have back in the day.

My Mrs and I floated after our first date and we're getting married, it happens.

Fade wrote:I didn't ask for any advice after responding to Banjo.

And I originally asked for advice from people that had dated overly shy girls.

Whatever dude :lol:

Fade:

Asks question, gets answers, ignores answers, tells everyone that sex is a terrible basis for a relationship, gets offended, rides off into the sexless sunset.

Fin

Tafdolphin wrote:Fade:

Asks question, gets answers, ignores answers, tells everyone that sex is a terrible basis for a relationship, gets offended, rides off into the sexless sunset, posts gif

Fin

At least we know now whose alt N1FFF is.

Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x

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