GRcade

To give an opposite of Fades tale, I pulled a girl at a wedding a couple of weeks ago which was the first time meeting her. We even went on a date last week where we kissed again but she's decided she doesn't want to meet up again. Pretty much attraction but not wanting to be with someone, I guess.

Rocsteady wrote:

Fade wrote:We're dating, definitely more than friends

I don't see how you go from not knowing someone, to wanting to be affectionate towards them in less than 24 hours of being around them.Yeah I would have been okay with it sooner, but she is clearly more shy than me,
and I'm sure from my posts it's clear I'm pretty shy around new people.

Wut?

It's not simply being affectionate, it's lust. Virtually every human on the planet will have wanted to get 'affectionate' towards someone in less than 24 hours.

He'll, plenty of people who go out partying or to pubs or clubs or wherever will have become 'affectionate' within about five minutes of meeting someone.

Right, but those situations aren't exactly a great basis for a serious relationship are they? Because that's what I'm looking for.

The situations you described are based on sexual attraction, where as what I am talking about is based on trust and understanding and friendship.

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club:lol:

Fade wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Fade wrote:We're dating, definitely more than friends

I don't see how you go from not knowing someone, to wanting to be affectionate towards them in less than 24 hours of being around them.Yeah I would have been okay with it sooner, but she is clearly more shy than me,
and I'm sure from my posts it's clear I'm pretty shy around new people.

Wut?

It's not simply being affectionate, it's lust. Virtually every human on the planet will have wanted to get 'affectionate' towards someone in less than 24 hours.

He'll, plenty of people who go out partying or to pubs or clubs or wherever will have become 'affectionate' within about five minutes of meeting someone.

Right, but those situations aren't exactly a great basis for a serious relationship are they? Because that's what I'm looking for.

The situations you described are based on sexual attraction, where as what I am talking about is based on trust and understanding and friendship.

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club:lol:

I know plenty of people that met their partners in pubs/clubs. I myself had sex the second time I met my partner and have now been in that same relationship for 11 years and been married to her for 3 and a half years. Just because people dare to kiss before the 50th date doesn't mean the relationship is doomed from the start.

Being frigid is fine if it suits you both, but you are talking utter shite if you think you know anything about how normal modern people interact with each other. Nowadays we don't need chaperones until the wedding night.

Ad7 wrote:Come on man, I've got fiiiive kids to feed.

Moggy wrote:

Fade wrote:

Rocsteady wrote:

Fade wrote:We're dating, definitely more than friends

I don't see how you go from not knowing someone, to wanting to be affectionate towards them in less than 24 hours of being around them.Yeah I would have been okay with it sooner, but she is clearly more shy than me,
and I'm sure from my posts it's clear I'm pretty shy around new people.

Wut?

It's not simply being affectionate, it's lust. Virtually every human on the planet will have wanted to get 'affectionate' towards someone in less than 24 hours.

He'll, plenty of people who go out partying or to pubs or clubs or wherever will have become 'affectionate' within about five minutes of meeting someone.

Right, but those situations aren't exactly a great basis for a serious relationship are they? Because that's what I'm looking for.

The situations you described are based on sexual attraction, where as what I am talking about is based on trust and understanding and friendship.

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club:lol:

I know plenty of people that met their partners in pubs/clubs. I myself had sex the second time I met my partner and have now been in that same relationship for 11 years and been married to her for 3 and a half years. Just because people dare to kiss before the 50th date doesn't mean the relationship is doomed from the start.

Being frigid is fine if it suits you both, but you are talking utter shite if you think you know anything about how normal modern people interact with each other. Nowadays we don't need chaperones until the wedding night.

Yeah all of my relationships since my early teen years have involved sexual contact at an early moment and I've had a few serious relationships. Plenty of my friends have strawberry floated others after meeting in clubs and are still with those partners. It's quite a good way to do it really, you know if you sexual compatibility quickly and at the very least get your end away.

strawberry floating buuullshit

The first time I met my GF we were naked and strawberry floating about. It was purely casual but through that we got to know eachother through other means and are living together and planning a life.

To say we have a relationship that isnt built on trust, understanding and friendship is flat out retarded.

Fade wrote:Right, but those situations aren't exactly a great basis for a serious relationship are they? Because that's what I'm looking for.

The situations you described are based on sexual attraction, where as what I am talking about is based on trust and understanding and friendship.

I don't know many people that ended up together long term that started off by them meeting in a club:lol:

You sound pretty clueless/naive here-lots of people meet that way. I know a lot of people who did including me-ok it was a friend of a friend but still, we met in a club.

And there's nothing wrong with meeting someone like that. You need attraction as well compatibility on a deeper level. If you meet someone in a club and confirm the attraction, you then go on dates to see if you have a connection.

Fade you kind of sound like you're dating in the 50s to be honest....

Tomous wrote:Fade you kind of sound like you're dating in the 1750s to be honest....

FTFY

You guys really don't like people who do things differently to yourselves do you? Every time I post in here I get some kind of gooseberry fool for doing things differently.

I can only speak from personal experience and the people I know.

I never said that it doesn't happen, just that I personally don't know many people who it happened to. Try reading what I actually wrote before you get offended or try and tell me I'm clueless.

My buddy is way more outgoing than me and he has only had one girlfriend he met that way that lasted longer than 6 months.

If you sleep with 10 odd people just after meeting them and then happen to end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, I don't consider that a huge success rate.

Also, ever consider maybe you guys know more people that meet like that because you're part of that kind of social group and I don't because I'm not? Similarly to why you think what I'm doing is weird.

Fade wrote:If you sleep with 10 odd people just after meeting them and then happen to end up in a long term relationship with 1 of them, I don't consider that a huge success rate.

I would, success isn't necessarily just about finding the right option, but also about getting the wrong ones out of the way. At least you're basing not being with the first 9 on information you got from meeting them, rather than them being "what if"s.

And I wouldn't say meeting up with a girl I fancied a half dozen times and not kissing her a success.

Sleeping with 10 people and then getting a relationship from the last seems pretty successful compared to your approach of sleeping with no one and getting no relationship...

Doing things differently isn't a negative, but your methods clearly aren't getting results are they?

Nobody is picking on you, most of us are just trying to push you into making it clear you want a girlfriend not a friend. You don't have to smash the bitch after 20 mins but you should at least go after it like a potential girlfriend rather than make yourself a buddy then start trying to fight out of that hole..?

Tomous wrote:Sleeping with 10 people and then getting a relationship from the last seems pretty successful compared to your approach of sleeping with no one and getting no relationship...

This. Not sure you can complain about sleeping with 10 people.

If you wait around for the perfect set of circumstances to finally get into a relationship with someone, your chances of success are actually reasonably slim because you haven't got the experience and general lessons learned from prior relationships.

Tomous wrote:Sleeping with 10 people and then getting a relationship from the last seems pretty successful compared to your approach of sleeping with no one and getting no relationship...

Well people are different.

I wouldn't measure my friendship with a close male friend on whether or not I had hugged them. I would measure it on how they treated me. So from my point of view I don't see why it would be so different for a relationship.

Your guy's measure of 'success' seems to be sex. Which is fine, but it's not mine.

I could go out clubbing and get laid if I really wanted to, but I don't, I wouldn't enjoy it.

I've talked to her in depth about it and she admits herself she is very reserved and said that I don't need to worry about being seeming too passive. So it's going well. She is well aware I'm interested in her and well aware we are dating, not friends. Heck she sees me more than her best friend.

Nah, my measure of success is actually having a bird, innit.

The fact that she lets me see her boobies from time to time is just a bonus

Yeah, sex isn't "the" measure of success, but it is one of them. What's the difference between friendship and a relationship without intimacy?

Well I wouldn't call this a relationship yet.

But I would say: the amount of time you spend together, the kind of things you talk about, the kind of things you do for each other.

I think a good measure of if you're in a relationship or not is if you hold hands with the other person when that happens I will know.