GRcade

Yo Fade, I am quite shy and my girlfriend is also quite shy. It took us quite a while to get to know each other, and I probably waited a bit too long to make my intentions clear -- I was pretty low on self-confidence at the time. Regardless, it worked out and once we knew for sure how we felt about each other the relationship progressed reasonably quickly. The way I see it shyness is definitely a barrier to making that first step but it doesn't mean you or her want intimacy any less than a 'not shy' couple, and you say you've been on a half-dozen dates, so I think it's reasonable to say she does know you well enough to make a decision on whether she wants to try having a relationship with you or not.

If you've really made your intentions clear I would be a bit worried about the lack of reciprocation at this stage. If not, you don't have to be super pushy, but she has to know that you like her in a girlfriend way rather than just as a mate. Maybe you've said that you do, but if you aren't acting on it at all then she might be wondering if you really mean it.

Also, you shouldn't be so dismissive of other people's relationship advice. I'm sure it's not intentional but your attitude comes across as a bit rude to be honest, and that's why the thread turns a bit hostile when you post.

So. I'm going to her Dads house on Saturday for permission to ask her to marry me...

I only glanced and thought you were fade for a second and assumed something alarming had happened.

It's that really normal these days? Good luck anyway!

Good luck buddy!

Christ that seems archaic, fair play though.

It's old fashioned but it's a nice touch I think. Though it does run the risk of him saying "strawberry float no" and ruining all the plans.

Well she's her father's property so if he didn't ask it would be like stealing.

It depends on the people involved I think.

On the face of it, it does seem a tad outdated but people also like tradition.

I have a mate who knew his gf and her father would appreciate it so decided to it before popping the question. Problem was they live in different countries so he had to do it over a weekend they were visiting home and he couldn't find a quiet moment to do it subtlety. He ended up panicking and doing it in a supermarket aisle while his gf and future mother in law were round the corner. They came back round and couldn't work out why the 2 of them were having an emotional hug infront of the baked beans

I asked my wife's dad if I could marry her as well before we were married, although I did ask my wife first. Good thing he said yes or that might have been awkward

Actually it was already awkward as he's in Japan, so I had to do it over Skype, and I only memorized the lines that I needed to ask for her, so my wife had to be there to help me say "He want's to talk to you for a bit"... Oh and her whole family was also around the computer, so I couldn't even do it discretely.

Rightey wrote:I asked my wife's dad if I could marry her as well before we were married, although I did ask my wife first. Good thing he said yes or that might have been awkward

Actually it was already awkward as he's in Japan, so I had to do it over Skype, and I only memorized the lines that I needed to ask for her, so my wife had to be there to help me say "He want's to talk to you for a bit"... Oh and her whole family was also around the computer, so I couldn't even do it discretely.

This sounds like something out of a comedy film

A Jim from American Pie esque character trying to marry his Japanese gf has to ask her disapproving father first-with hilarious consequences!

I didn't even tell my wife that the wedding was going to happen.

Moggy wrote:I didn't even tell my wife that the wedding was going to happen.

Knocked her out and dragged her to a registry office, eh? You old romantic, you.

Corazon de Leon wrote:

Moggy wrote:I didn't even tell my wife that the wedding was going to happen.

Knocked her out and dragged her to a registry office, eh? You old romantic, you.

Knocking a woman out and keeping her locked in the basement counts as a marriage.

do you guys actually mean
'im going to ask X to marry me, do i have your permission?'

or is it more
'im going to ask X to marry me, just so youre not shocked i thought id let you and her mum know first'

because if its the first then strawberry float no

I never asked my now father in law. A few weeks after I proposed he cornered me at a family event and said "you should have asked for my blessing first!" He shook my hand and gave a retrospective permission it was quite absurd but he is very old fashioned conservative baby boomer type.

It also bags you major brownie points with relatives.

The wife was brought up by her mum and she said I should ask her mum is I could marry her rather than her dad as she was very traditional.

I pointed out that if that is the case her mum will also be fine with paying for it all, at which point I no longer needed to ask and it turned out she wasn't "that" traditional.

brilliant

To the surprise of absolute nobody that's familiar with what I've said about my in-laws on here in the past, I didn't bother.

Drumstick wrote:To the surprise of absolute nobody that's familiar with what I've said about my in-laws on her in the past, I didn't bother.

Because they disapprove of you?