Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x

Yeah this will never end, I have this argument every few weeks. I'm cool with doing stuff but the wife tends to just do it, apparently "she shouldn't have to ask".

When she is doing things I come over all the time and ask if she wants a hand but she always says no. I told her this and she said it doesnt happen.

And here, you literally can't win.

Easiest thing for me anyway is to just nod along and let her have her grumble.

I've been moaned at after having done the washing up before because I didn't stack it properly in the dryer.....

She shouted at me last week for putting the wrong washing on the line. The reason I would just prefer her to tell me is because that way I will do exactly what she asks. She doesnt see this side and insists I want to be told because I am a baby.

If I take on every responsibility she will get really mad that Im doing it the wrong way, I can just see it.

Well you should just know, it isn't hard.

Women :roll:

Gently-Parted Ringpiece wrote:Just a quick query as to whether Im in the wrong here. My gf works very hard etc etc and she takes on most of the household responsibilities. I accept its not an equal split and of course I am more than happy to make it equal, this is not disputed. Every time she asks me to do something I do it, whatever that may be, no problem.

I am currently on day two of her being incredibly buttmad about this. She maintains that asking me to do things is unreasonable, to the point where she now says she refuses to ask me for anything at all and Im a horrible bastard. This span out from her asking me to move some boxes yesterday, I had asked for five minutes to finish what I was doing, she got mad, I dropped everything and moved the boxes, she got madder that I wasnt displaying an appropriate degree of willing. She commented today that I do this all of the time, like that time 6 months ago where I didnt think I had to wood polish the tops of the doorframes (I am apparently prone to this gross misconducts).

She is very very salty and is refusing to talk to me. Am I the one in the wrong here?

I have no problem doing household tasks (apart from cooking - I cant cook) but I honestly domt see why she is so mad when I say tell me what to do and Ill do it.

They really do be crazy.

Last edited by KingK on Fri May 12, 2017 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds like the decorators are in.

Keep your head down for couple of days then she'll be gagging for some action

Winner winner, chicken dinner

Oh the constant nagging that I hear coming from my next door neighbour's wife about such inane things (they're in their 30s). I just sit there thinking 'you poor bastard.'

Also, if you manage to find a woman that you know has been cheated on multiple times or keeps going through husbands/boyfriends like water you need to take a bloody long look in the mirror and ask yourself if it's worth it. Either she has horrible bad luck, or she's an absolutle mare to live with.

The issue is that you're having to be told. Or doing exactly only what she asks which roughly translates to bare strawberry floating minimum. She's expecting you to notice jobs need done and be proactive in doing them, rather than running about oblivious until it's pointed out to you.

Go to the kitchen, is it clean? No? Well clean it. Don't wait to be asked. If she tells you to put the dishwasher on, don't leave the sides a mess under the plates because she explicitly says 'the dishwasher', notice that there's a mess left behind from doing the job she asked and finish it.

When you want milk for your coffee do you pop to the shop and buy milk? Yeah? Wrong. You should be checking what supplies are needed and coming home with what's about to run out as well as milk for yourself, since you're going anyway.

Is she working late tonight? Only got one day off to spend time with you? Use you extra time to catch up on house duties to lessen her load if she's short on time. You probably think you're being helpful but it gets strawberry floating annoying when you expect everyone to be as efficient as yourself but chromosomes.

Errkal wrote:Yeah this will never end, I have this argument every few weeks.

You mean every 28 days, right?

Bunni wrote:The issue is that you're having to be told.

This is it. It is bloody annoying having to tell people to do things all of the time and it is really nice when people just do things without being asked.

Bunni wrote:The issue is that you're having to be told. Or doing exactly only what she asks which roughly translates to bare strawberry floating minimum. She's expecting you to notice jobs need done and be proactive in doing them, rather than running about oblivious until it's pointed out to you.

Go to the kitchen, is it clean? No? Well clean it. Don't wait to be asked. If she tells you to put the dishwasher on, don't leave the sides a mess under the plates because she explicitly says 'the dishwasher', notice that there's a mess left behind from doing the job she asked and finish it.

When you want milk for your coffee do you pop to the shop and buy milk? Yeah? Wrong. You should be checking what supplies are needed and coming home with what's about to run out as well as milk for yourself, since you're going anyway.

Is she working late tonight? Only got one day off to spend time with you? Use you extra time to catch up on house duties to lessen her load if she's short on time. You probably think you're being helpful but it gets strawberry floating annoying when you expect everyone to be as efficient as yourself but chromosomes.

Being single and starting my life again sounds easier

Karl wrote:
Errkal wrote:Yeah this will never end, I have this argument every few weeks.

You mean every 28 days, right?

You're both in the wrong a bit, I reckon. It sounds like she's let this silently annoy her for ages instead of sorting it out when it became a problem, and now she seems super unreasonable. On the other hand saying you'll do whatever, you just have to be told, isn't really an excuse. My girlfriend is like that and it's super strawberry floating frustrating. Though with her every time I tell her to do something she was conveniently 'just about to do it'.

Corazon de Leon

But then I'm like that - I don't notice things like that, and when I'm told that I should be noticing them it gets my back up because I have no idea how to make myself see things that I don't otherwise see. Likewise, I'm not a psychic; if you want me to do something, all you ever need to do is ask and I'll sort it right away. Alternatively, some kind of schedule between the people in the living situation that's posted somewhere so I know to remember to check gooseberry fool, or clean gooseberry fool.

Sounds to me like you are waiting to be asked to help or reacting to her carrying out tasks rather than autonomously and proactively managing the jobs that need doing. Of course that's going to irritate her.

The problem I have is I have different standards for when things need to be done. For example I like to do laundry once a week whereas my wife wants to do it several times a week so she has smaller loads.

This means even when I would do it by myself it makes it seem like I wasn't going to. It's just one of those things you need to be aware of and sort out a compromise.

Bunni wrote:The issue is that you're having to be told. Or doing exactly only what she asks which roughly translates to bare strawberry floating minimum. She's expecting you to notice jobs need done and be proactive in doing them, rather than running about oblivious until it's pointed out to you.

Go to the kitchen, is it clean? No? Well clean it. Don't wait to be asked. If she tells you to put the dishwasher on, don't leave the sides a mess under the plates because she explicitly says 'the dishwasher', notice that there's a mess left behind from doing the job she asked and finish it.

When you want milk for your coffee do you pop to the shop and buy milk? Yeah? Wrong. You should be checking what supplies are needed and coming home with what's about to run out as well as milk for yourself, since you're going anyway.

Is she working late tonight? Only got one day off to spend time with you? Use you extra time to catch up on house duties to lessen her load if she's short on time. You probably think you're being helpful but it gets strawberry floating annoying when you expect everyone to be as efficient as yourself but chromosomes.

1>3>4>2 wrote:Sounds like a classic case of bitches be crazy.

Gently-Parted Ringpiece wrote:She shouted at me last week for putting the wrong washing on the line. The reason I would just prefer her to tell me is because that way I will do exactly what she asks. She doesnt see this side and insists I want to be told because I am a baby.

If I take on every responsibility she will get really mad that Im doing it the wrong way, I can just see it.

Personally I would say that I don't see it as unreasonable to want someone to point out to me how they want something done if they think I've done it wrong, but it's only if I ignored these requested instructions would I think it reasonable for them to be annoyed with me. At least try to meet me half way. I'm obviously not seeing something you can, I'm sorry, but point it out and I'll learn from this.

I suppose it seems best case scenario:
Do as much as you can around the house to show you're trying
Get most of it wrong
She tells you how to do it right in a reasonable way
Profit

Is it her house that you've moved into?

Rightey wrote:whereas my wife wants to do it several times a week so she has smaller loads.

So your wife doesn't like your big loads?

But seriously Bunni nailed it

Relationship Thread V.2 - Canyonero! :x

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