Relationship Thread V4

[Victor Mildew]

But you will get bummed

[Choclet-Milk]

Isn't that the point

[Squinty]

So I did it. I asked in person and didn't bottle it. She said she'd like to in a few weeks, but said she's got a boyfriend so RIP to that I guess. Oh well. Back to being perpetually lonely.

You've got farther than I have in the past 4 years dude.

Staydead is man we aspire to be

[pjbetman]

So I did it. I asked in person and didn't bottle it. She said she'd like to in a few weeks, but said she's got a boyfriend so RIP to that I guess. Oh well. Back to being perpetually lonely.

Well done for asking her...not easy at first, as you tend to be too direct.

Anyway, when you say you're lonely, does this mean that you have no/not many friends you hang out with? I think if you concentrated on getting more friends, you should find that you're meeting women in more social situations, rather than being forced to ask work colleagues out. Just a thought.

[Yubel]

I think we'd all benefit from asking people out in the Oasis. The odds may be equally stacked in your favour of being approached as well and in this particular context, chances are that, once you've waded through the tricksters, con artists and generally cold-blooded deception, you'll come across someone with insecurities similar to your own.

I know it's recently been adapted in the film Ready Player One, but if anyone's actually been I'd like to know. Do you often use it in pursuit of finding love?

[Qikz]

So I did it. I asked in person and didn't bottle it. She said she'd like to in a few weeks, but said she's got a boyfriend so RIP to that I guess. Oh well. Back to being perpetually lonely.

Well done for asking her...not easy at first, as you tend to be too direct.

Anyway, when you say you're lonely, does this mean that you have no/not many friends you hang out with? I think if you concentrated on getting more friends, you should find that you're meeting women in more social situations, rather than being forced to ask work colleagues out. Just a thought.

I have plenty of male and female friends, but they're either in relationships or married.

[Moggy]

I think we'd all benefit from asking people out in the Oasis.

Some might say that would be for the best, but it can be difficult if you meet somebody that is half the world away from you.

Sometimes you have to just roll with it and think “whatever”, it’s not ideal but you can acquiesce and stop crying your heart out over it. Just go let it out and don’t look back in anger as nobody will live forever.

[Drumstick]

I think we'd all benefit from asking people out in the Oasis.

Some might say that would be for the best, but it can be difficult if you meet somebody that is half the world away from you.

Sometimes you have to just roll with it and think “whatever”, it’s not ideal but you can acquiesce and stop crying your heart out over it. Just go let it out and don’t look back in anger as nobody will live forever.

If you have a masterplan it can work, but little by little your confidence might slide away. Better to leave it up in the sky than to bring it on down. Sometimes, saying hello or hey now can very quickly become married with kids. If you do find yourself strawberry floatin' in the bushes, make sure you bag it up. D'you know what I mean?

[Tsunade]

Err... You're my wonderwall?

[No:1 Final Fantasy Fan]

StayDead, it may not feel like it but this is a victory. Well done. You've experienced a rejection, it's hopefully not as bad as you feared and it'll make asking the next girl a lot easier.

Doesn't feel like a victory but to make it less weird I had a quick joke with her about something so hopefully we can go to just being friends and not have it go all weird.

Well done! You will find someone that you will fancy even more who will say yes. So you have that to look forward to.
Out of interest how do you feel at the moment? Still thinking about her or have you been able to let it go now that she said she has a boyfriend?

I feel the same but it's because she's a genuinely nice person and we've got a ton in common. I guess I gotta take the L but if she wants to be friends then I can live with that.

Aw thanks for sharing. I find being friends hard if I am still feeling the same way. Taking break and not seeing the other person works best for me until feelings disappear then I can be friends and think why did I ever even have these feelings .

So I did it. I asked in person and didn't bottle it. She said she'd like to in a few weeks, but said she's got a boyfriend so RIP to that I guess. Oh well. Back to being perpetually lonely.

Well done for asking her...not easy at first, as you tend to be too direct.

Anyway, when you say you're lonely, does this mean that you have no/not many friends you hang out with? I think if you concentrated on getting more friends, you should find that you're meeting women in more social situations, rather than being forced to ask work colleagues out. Just a thought.

I have plenty of male and female friends, but they're either in relationships or married.

I'm feeling lonely at the moment. I kind of hate living alone as I have no regular friends to go out with to do stuff after work. Luckily I only live 30mins from my home town where my cousins are, so on weekends I can always go home and meet up with them. Which makes me fear moving further away where I have even less connections but I might just have to for the sake of my career.
Also is it even possible to have an enjoyable friendship with someone of the opposite sex (or same sex in my case)?

[Dual]

Parklife!

[Moggy]

Also is it even possible to have an enjoyable friendship with someone of the opposite sex (or same sex in my case)?

Yes. But only if neither of you want to strawberry float the other.

[Floex]

Parklife!

[That]

Also is it even possible to have an enjoyable friendship with someone of the opposite sex (or same sex in my case)?

Of course. If you filter your friendships by gender, you're missing out on 50% of the friends you could potentially have.

[Jenuall]

Why would it not be possible to have a friendship with someone of the opposite gender (or same gender if that's your preference)? Not everything is about sex!

[Tsunade]

My best mate is a guy, we've been friends for about 15 years or so. We're both straight and never had any sexual encounters with each other or anything like that.

If you get on with a person you get on, you don't need sexual feelings there for a friendship.

[RichardUK]

Why would it not be possible to have a friendship with someone of the opposite gender (or same gender if that's your preference)? Not everything is about sex!

I couldn’t agree more

It’s a wonderful feeling when you have a good friend/friends that love and care about you just for being you with no other motive other than that they enjoy spending time with you

[jimbojango]

I’m not sure why I’m airing this on Grcade of all places, I guess it’s because there is anonymity and I want objective advice. God help me I’ve even been on mumsnet.

I’ve been with my wife for nearly 18 years, married for nearly 11. I have a grown up step daughter, who at 22 moved back into the family home again after leaving 4 years ago. I have a son who is 11. He is my everything, and I’d do anything for him.
Cliche as it is, I have somehow fallen out of love with my wife though. I don’t know when exactly it started, I’ve even begun doubting what my feelings were at the very beginning. I guess I should admit marriage was in large part due to her getting pregnant- although again at the time I was excited to try and build a life and be a father.
But now, I have a good job, a large house, a nice car, all the consumer crap that is assumed to be the source of fulfilment, and I feel miserable and trapped. I think she has grown to resent me, when she looks at me I don’t see love, just simmering resentment. She nags and belittles me, although to be fair I think I’m probably a real burden to her. It’s gotten worse these last few months, to the extent a complete stranger on a night out asked if I was ok.
After an argument last weekend, I felt myself want to say I wanted out, and in my head I pictured a life with someone else. It must have been longer than I realised as she asked why I was staring into to space like an idiot. But I thought of my son, swallowed my emotions and just let another part of my heart die.
I’ve been reading a lot, trying to understand the folly of “romantic love”, of becoming engulfed in that infatuation of attraction.

http://time.com/4354465/romanticism-relationships/

I know there is a value to staying in what is a position of financial stability and comfort, and that I have a dury to my family. I’m selfish for even thinking of this. Now as I sit here almost crying in a toilet at work I just want it to stop but the thoughts keep returning like a horrible loop.
Should I just suck it up? I can get anti depressants easily enough I’m sure and maybe that will clear me head?
I dare not speak to any of my friends of family - they will be appalled at me.
Help me?

[SEP]

It would do your son no good to live with parents who are only staying together because of him. It would give him a skewed perspective on love and marriage, and could cause him to resent you both further down the line.

[SEP]

Then again I've never had a relationship longer than 6 months, so what do I know?