Relationship Thread V4

[Moggy]

With the Royal loving I'd think Rich has a preference for Germans.

My attitude is if someone's great go for it never let race, age or anything get in the way if you think there beautiful and interesting then those two things are enough, well providing they think that about you as well

I fully accept people have preferences, some people like blondes, some like brunettes. Some like thin, some like fat. Some prefer white, some prefer black.

Where it veers into racism is when people start proudly proclaiming that they don’t find a certain race or nationality attractive. By saying it, you confirm racial biases that mean you are a racist. Maybe not a Nazi death camp style racist, but a racist nonetheless.

[Jenuall]

:roll:

Roll your eyes all you like, but having a race preference and a nationality preference makes you a racist.

Does having a gender preference make you a homophobe?

No.

Cool. Does having a gender preference make you a sexist?

No.

Are you comparing sexual orientation with nationalism and racism?

Are you trying to tell us that not liking Black/Asian/Polish/Welsh/Native American’s is inbuilt into humans?

Are you trying to compare the attractiveness of an entire race of human beings to “gay people don’t like girls!”?

No.

[Tafdolphin]

Hello, I hear there are pictures of tortoises in herrrrrrrrrwhatthefuck

[False]

I dont think its racist that someone doesnt like another nationality or race as a romantic interest, just personal preference. It becomes racist if someone doesnt want a black gf/bf because of some arbitrary stereotype or whatever.

I personally like everyone, but that doesnt make me a paragon of virtue

[Skarjo]

I think I’m pretty much most attracted to the demographics I’ve grown up/lived around the most.

Also big titties.

[Jenuall]

I dont think its racist that someone doesnt like another nationality or race as a romantic interest, just personal preference. It becomes racist if someone doesnt want a black gf/bf because of some arbitrary stereotype or whatever.

Exactly.

[False]

Its a product of social and environmental conditioning. Not wanting to strawberry float people doesnt make you racist, homophobic, sizeist or whatever. Its when you start preaching those views or making insane character or personal judgements based upon it.

[Corazon de Leon]

I think I’m pretty much most attracted to the demographics I’ve grown up/lived around the most.

Also big titties.

Mostly this, though I’d disclaim that by saying my experience of dating Scottish women has been disastrous, so I’ve ended up with more partners from other countries than here.

[That]

In reality this is tough to unpick, because it's hard to know which race-based preferences you might have are a side-effect of some innate model of beauty, and which are down to the internalisation of racist tropes.

In principle it's fine to observe preferences in yourself ("I tend to prefer Asian women" or whatever). I think if you start shouting about it it's very easy to come off as a racist (and some statements like that obviously are -- "I would never date a South American, they're all ugly!")

I think I would say probably a hint that it's racism is if you have rules rather than preferences. "I tend to prefer y" is usually fair enough, "I would never date x" sounds a lot like hatred for x.



EDIT: Fwiw, for me, I try not to have "rules" or label myself too strongly... though I don't think I could date a Tory.

[Moggy]

I dont think its racist that someone doesnt like another nationality or race as a romantic interest, just personal preference. It becomes racist if someone doesnt want a black gf/bf because of some arbitrary stereotype or whatever.

Exactly.

That’s sort of what I was saying. It becomes racism to me when a statement about it is made. Why tell people that you have a “race preference”? That’s what makes it racist.

[Victor Mildew]

Which resetera thread is this?

[That]

Which resetera thread is this?

You're right, I should redirect all serious discussions to Era from now on. The quality of discourse would be a lot better for it. Thanks for the advice Ad.

[Victor Mildew]

Which resetera thread is this?

You're right, I should redirect all serious discussions to Era from now on. The quality of discourse would be a lot better for it. Thanks for the advice Ad.

Hey no problem, I guess my work is done here.

attraction is a subconscious almost rpg speech check where you, in moments, decided compatibility and what your offspring would be like. It's why we have types, it's really your genes thinking "oh strawberry float yeah we'd make great babies mixing our bits together". It's not racist to just not find people of a certain race attractive on the whole, it's the speech check type thing going on, but it IS racist to dismiss an entire race of people without making any concession that you could find any of them attractive full stop. I'm in to brunettes, always have been, never been in to blondes, but my wife is blonde. I don't know what my point is any more.

[Rocsteady]

I like Irish lasses, the accent does it for me.

I think I was sexually harassed (or something along those lines) by one last weekend though. After a party elsewhere she was meant to be staying in mine and my flatmate's spare room. I’d left earlier and gone to bed as I had important meetings in the morning. She drunkenly walked into my room while I was sleeping, got onto the bed and was chatting shite and groping away at me. Ended up having sex with her just so she’d leave me alone. She fell asleep after and I went and slept in the spare room.

Not scarred from the experience but I was not impressed. If genders were reversed I feel it’d be some strawberry floated up gooseberry fool.

[That]

Yeah, that was definitely inappropriate on her part dude, if roles were reversed she'd be calling you a creep or worse. I'm glad you're not traumatised or whatever, but that doesn't make it OK -- sorry it happened to you.

[Rocsteady]

Thanks. I was beginning to question how inappropriate it was as a few of my mates' automatic reaction was to say it couldn’t have been easier or more on a plate, etc. Probably because I like sleeping around a lot but that doesn’t make such behaviour acceptable on her part.

[SEP]

Thanks. I was beginning to question how inappropriate it was as a few of my mates' automatic reaction was to say it couldn’t have been easier or more on a plate, etc. Probably because I like sleeping around a lot but that doesn’t make such behaviour acceptable on her part.

If you're having sex but didn't want to, then there's a word for that...

[KK]

If you're having sex but didn't want to, then there's a word for that...

Geriatric.

[Nibble]

I don't make conscious decisions about what/who I'm attracted to. I let my penis take care of that.

[No:1 Final Fantasy Fan]

Wow nice to see that my post has produced his interesting debate. Anyway guess I will be more open minded and stop stereotyping passively.

Another question I have now is...dating or considering dating or just liking someone who is much more experienced than yourself.
I find this extremely difficult as I would feel slightly inadequate but mostly jealous and hurt when hearing all the experiences the other has had and feel like I need to play catch up :/
So I try avoid getting to know someone who is much more experienced than myself and keep them as friends instead.