Shite jokage...

PostShite jokage... by **Gandalf** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 10:53 am

...yes, I'm bored!

Me and a friend were walking down the street and saw a dog licking himself. Friend said, "Wish I could do that" and I said "I think you ought to pet him first."

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Wedgie** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 10:58 am

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Xeno** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:04 am

Wedgie wrote:

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Gandalf** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:04 am

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Octoroc** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:11 am

A woman walks into her doctor's surgery with a black eye.
"How did that happen?" asks the doctor.
"I got punched by a giant cockroach", she replies wincing.
"Ah yes", says the doctor, "I heard there was a nasty bug going about".

The End.

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Shalashaska** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:29 am

Xeno wrote:
Wedgie wrote:

PostRe: Shite jokage... by JK » Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:50 am

Did you hear about the Catholic biochemist who had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

:lol:

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Red Devil** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 11:55 am

JK wrote:Did you hear about the Catholic biochemist who had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

GTFO

Corazon de Leon · PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Corazon de Leon** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:52 pm

JK wrote:Did you hear about the Catholic biochemist who had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

Is that one of those jokes only a biochemist would actually get? A bit like the one I heard about Stalin the other day for historians. :fp:

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Moggy** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:55 pm

When I was younger I used to pray to God to give me a bike. As I got older I realised that that is not the way God works and so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Corazon de Leon · PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Corazon de Leon** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 12:56 pm

Anung wrote:
Deadpool wrote:
JK wrote:Did you hear about the Catholic biochemist who had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

Is that one of those jokes only a biochemist would actually get? A bit like the one I heard about Stalin the other day for historians.

Go on then...quit Stalin and tell the joke!

I don't remember the punchline, but it involved Stalin, Gorbachev, Brezhnev and Khrushchev on a train that breaks down.

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Denster** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 1:00 pm

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle, "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle, "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three is a Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....

Liver alone. Cheese mine.

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Qikz** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 1:14 pm

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Denster** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 1:15 pm

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Slartibartfast** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 1:33 pm

Deadpool wrote:
JK wrote:Did you hear about the Catholic biochemist who had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

Is that one of those jokes only a biochemist would actually get? A bit like the one I heard about Stalin the other day for historians.

An optimist would say the glass if half full, a pessimist would say the glass is half empty, an engineer would tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Turok** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:02 pm

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were on a plane. The plane crashed on a deserted island and all they could gather is a crate of canned beans but no can openers.

After a month rescuers finally got to them. First they found the engineer, who was in tip top form, and they asked him how he had done it, to which he replied "Well, I used the buckle from my belt, modelled and sharpened it with some crystal I found sticking out in a cave and obtained a can opener". Then they found the physicist, who was also in good shape, and when they asked him how he managed to open the cans he said "Well, I saw that these palm trees have big coconuts on them, so I calculated the ideal height from which to drop the coconuts on the cans to smash them open , climbed up the highest tree and did it". Finally they came to the mathematician, but only his skinny corpse remained next to a unopened can. They found a note next to him that read "Let's presume for the sake of absurdity that the can is already open".

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Memento Mori** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:36 pm

Deadpool wrote:
JK wrote:Did you hear about the Catholic biochemist who had twins?

He baptised one and kept the other as a control.

Is that one of those jokes only a biochemist would actually get? A bit like the one I heard about Stalin the other day for historians.

I'm a physicist and I get it. It's not 8 emoticons worth of funny though unless I misunderstood it and the joke is that there would ever be a catholic biochemist.

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **RogueLeader** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:39 pm

Why did Jesus cross the road?

What do you call a man with four arms?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Four arms.

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Ecno** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:42 pm

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are all travelling together in a railway carriage. Unexpectedly the train stops. Lenin suggests: "Perhaps, we should call a subbotnik, so that workers and peasants fix the problem." Stalin puts his head out of the window and shouts, "If the train does not start moving, the driver will be shot!" But the train doesn't start moving. Khrushchev then shouts, "Let's take the rails behind the train and use them to construct the tracks in the front".(A hint to Khrushchev's various reorganizations.) But it still doesn't move. Brezhnev then says, "Comrades, Comrades, let's draw the curtains, turn on the gramophone and pretend we're moving!" (A hint to Brezhnev stagnation.)

PostRe: Shite jokage... by **Wedgie** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:48 pm

Why is Piglet a homosexual?

Why does Tigger looks down the toilet?

Shite jokage...

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