Sky: 'The top 30 celebrity sex tapes we'd like to see'
Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:39 pm
Sky wrote:What do we do on a sunny afternoon in the office? Discuss the celebrities whose sex tapes we'd like to see, of course.
Yep, we're a filthy bunch - care to join us for a little imaginary filmmaking?
First up, it's got to be...
1. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. If only to see whether or not she uses her now-famous right leg to its full potential.
2.It would be unfair to leave out Brad's ex, Jennifer Aniston. These two enjoyed seven years of marriage... they must have got snap-happy on at least one occasion. We'd like to see the evidence, please.
3. And while we're on the subject, what about Jen's rumoured relationship with Gerard Butler? They might be 'just friends' but that doesn't mean they couldn't have dabbled in a little amateur filmmaking under the sheets.
4. We're unsure whether to swoon or giggle at this one. Just imagine if Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher filmed their sexy times. Would Borat bust out his mankini for us?
5. You don't get a hotter couple than Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis. We reckon V pulls out some saucy French moves, while Captain Jack Sparrow puts on his best pirate accent. Oo-arrr.
6. This pair relish in telling us about their bedroom antics, so we'd put money on the fact that there's a sex tape floating around their DVD collection already. Would Kate Beckinsale still look perfectly polished while she's getting down and dirty with her hubby Len Wiseman? We reckon so.
7. Need we explain this one? David Beckham, naked - enough said. We'd just love to see whether the footballer can rid Victoria's face of that miserable smile.
8. Well, we really fancy Josh Duhamel, and his Black Eyed Pea wife Fergie sure does like to sing about about her lady lumps. So we're guessing the chemistry on this tape would be scorching.
9. These two like to live life in the fast lane... ahem. So we can only imagine the naughty things they get up to in the bedroom. Save us from our imagination, Lewis Hamilton and Nicole Scherzinger, and put it on the small screen, pronto.
10. While Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale like to portray themselves as devoted parents, that doesn't mean they're not downright dirty in the bedroom. We know that Gav has some skeletons in his sex closet. But what's his life with Gwen like behind closed doors? We need to know.
11. We bet Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have all sorts of vampy sexy times. Could it be Breaking Dawn Part III, perhaps?
12. We bet this Spanish pair get up to all sorts behind closed doors. As long as there were subtitles, we'd happily watch Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem getting jiggy.
13. Hot new couple George Clooney and Stacy Keibler are still in that honeymoon phase. But can 50-year-old George keep up with 32-year-old Stacy? There's only one way for us to find out.
14. OK, so THIS is the hottest couple in Hollywood. Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are so beautiful, we reckon we'd be blinded by whatever they got up to in the bedroom. Although we're sure if they put it on film and we wore those 3D goggles, we could cope.
15. Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson are so cute in public, but are they this couply when the lights are off? We could think of all sorts of filthy Dawson's Creek-inspired names for their sex tape. But we won't, because that would be rude.
16. Katy Perry and Russell Brand might have called it a day, but they must have enjoyed all sorts of naughtiness when they were together. Russ is a reformed womaniser - we bet he has all sorts of tricks.
17. Megan Fox makes no secret of the fact that she's a right saucy minx. She can show us her innocent holiday snaps all she lkes, but what we really want to see is her home video of Brian Austin Green in the nuddy.
18. We rarely see Jessica Alba and Cash Warren out of the park with their kids. What they need is a night off, to share with us their hot bodies and A-list bedroom moves.
19. What with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's killer pins and Jason Statham's drool-worthy muscles, we reckon these two must make sweet music night after night. Let us have a sneaky peek, guys?
20. Imagine Simon Cowell in the bedroom. (We know. Try.) We bet he bosses poor on-off fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy around like she's on the stage. Forget Britain's Got Talent, this is what we need to see. It's a 'yes please' from us.
21. These two hotties make us blush just by looking at them. We've seen some of Scarlett Johansson's moves on the big screen, and we know Ryan Reynolds has a bod to die for. So somewhere, in an ideal world, this couple made a sex tape for us before their divorce in July 2011. We can dream.
22. What on earth could be hotter than a sex tape starring Ryan and Scarlett? A sex tape starring Ryan and Blake Lively, of course. Make it happen, guys.
23. While Lauren Goodger and Mark Wright are no more, this pairing still boggles us. How on earth did their bedsheets cope with all that fake tan? There must be video footage that can solve this conundrum for us.
24. Justin Timberlake + Jessica Biel = HOT. Justin + Jess + a video phone = XXX. This newly engaged couple need to show us exactly what all the Trousersnake fuss is about.
25. Failing that, we're sure there must be footage of JT getting down with his ex Cameron Diaz.
26. Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig are notoriously private. Heck, we didn't even know they were getting married. And since we're pretty nosy, we want to see exactly how James Bond bagged this Brit hottie. Again, and again...We're not fussy.
27. This showbiz pair must've enjoyed a whole load of sexy times before their divorce in September 2010. With his football moves and her Girls Aloud routines, we can only image what they got up to. Care to share?
28. They might be old enough to be our parents, but when we look at Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas, we just see sex. They've got to have a whole library of sexual escapades in their possession.
29. They're both athletes, and both super-fit. While we reckon Christine Bleakley is too squeaky-clean to make a sex tape, we'd still like to see how she woos Frank Lampard after a hard day on the pitch.
30. We've seen Halle Berry's boobs, so we know she's got a killer bod. Actually, we've seen Olivier Martinez naked, too - in dirty flick Unfaithful. But have we seen them do it together? No. Sad face.
http://skyliving.sky.com/news-gossip/ce ... -sex-tapes
Not the type of article I was expecting out of Sky, but anyway - who do you think is missing off this list?
