Hello, my name is RogueLeader and I have a DVD player. I sold it on The Internet and used some (NOT ALL!) of the money to buy a cinema ticket for the film Slumdog Millionaire. This is my review of the film. I've seen it.
Ok, first thing's first. I wanted some popcorn, but it was hideously overpriced. I bought some anyway to teach them a lesson, and that lesson was "Don't sell me hideously overpriced popcorn, or I will smash the glass cabinet that displays Minstrels and Skittles". When I got my popcorn I bought some cola and then smashed the glass hutch that displays nachos, sometimes my lessons aren't exactly as descriped in my pamphlet alright?
Now, on to the film. I saw some ads, one of them was for a new type of drink called Gimp Slug Fruit Squash Extravaganza. It tasted disgusting because I asked the guy beside me if I could lick his seat. I covered up this taste with popcorn and cola. How much?! SMASH!!!
Next we saw some short films that weren't out yet. I hated all of them. "From director..." etc. Boring voices and words on a black background. Why do they show you one scene, then fade away as a big drum is bashed? They did it over and over again. "In a world..." etc. I'm glad they told me when it comes out so I can avoid seeing it, although they could be more specific than the season and year.
I had to go to Thetoilet, which is a new bar in town, and not the same town as the cinema, so I left. I never saw Slumdog Millionaire, but the pints in Thetoilet were hideously overpriced, I can tell you that for free. Next time I go there, someone or something is going to get smashed. Time to add some more pages to my lessons pamphlet.
How about: very average love story that relies on the quite frankly bizarre idea that the Indian equivalent of Chris Tarrant is some nutjob who has people who he thinks are cheating torchered as a framing device for a load of random subplots that are otherwise tenuously linked.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it was gash.
